Friday, February 12, 2010

My Personal Sanctification.

I can't believe it's Friday. This week has flown by. Mom was unable to have her chemo yesterday. They stuck her NINE times with five different nurses and were unable to start in IV. It was a super rough day for her. But we are trusting that there is a reason why she didn't have it and as my very wise facebook friend Misty put it, "Sometimes the body just needs a rest."

My dad will go be with her this weekend and they will try it again on Monday. So thank you for your prayers and support. You can follow her blog for updates. Thanks for those of you who have stopped by and wished her well!

I feel the need to let you know where I will be for the next week.

Next weekend, I have such an exciting yet scary opportunity. I will be speaking all weekend at a Teen girl's retreat at Ridgecrest, NC. While I'm really looking foreward to this, I have been moved beyond words by the voice of God.

See, I realize that more than ever I am the most unqualified girl for this task. Oh yes, I see it. There are hundreds of teen girl speakers and authors and quite frankly I feel like this 'lil Jesus girl has gotten in way over her head with this.

I've been preparing for weeks...weeks. Hours and hours. But I realized last night that there is something even bigger than preparation that I have to do. See, I can't do this. NOPE. I will fail because I am not good enough to swing something like this. Just being honest. There is no possible way that I could just ease through a weekend like this.

But just like so many other's who have come before me have, I know I have to completely step outside of myself and into the presence of God like never before. I do not take anything I ever do for God's kingdom lightly. Ever. But particularly for this task, there is a great battle at hand. As I have heard the stories of God bringing girls to this retreat in great and mighty ways and the many obstacles that are occurring in each of their lives, I realize that destiny, it's dawning in many of their lives.

And because my destiny took a sharp turn when I was 19, I have never felt more unqualified for the task at hand. But I know that is exactly where God wants me, He needs me and will push me to be need be. {smile} He qualifies the unqualified, He strengthens the weak and He fulfills the unfulfilled.

So for the next week, I have prayed and asked the Lord what I need to do to sanctify myself before Him for this task. And He has clearly revealed that this blog, other's blogs, facebook and twitter all must fade for this week. Because even though my soul is often encouraged by other's through these networks and I like to encourage others, He needs to speak to me. He needs to step me away from the ordinary. And He can't do that if I'm busy, busy, busy stuff.

Which is a great sacrifice for a social needy girl. {wink}

I plead with you for prayers, not for me, not for my message or anything about me but that God's presence would be undeniable. UNDENIABLE. And that is why I know giving up these networks for this week will be a great task for me personally because I'm such a words of affirmation needy person. I love for people to say, "Oh yes, that's God." And I know I have to not "need" that from this world. I "need" to be in total check with God. TOTAL.

If I was really crazy, I'd give up caffeine this week too, but you and I both know that the Holy Spirit needs caffeine to fully function. Especially with teen girls. {smile}

Of course I can't give up e-mail because that's how the world spins these days. So if you need me, something major happens or you need prayer please feel free to e-mail me at:

And I do have that thing called a phone still too. :) But I won't post that on the www for everyone to see.

So I'll see y'all in a week or so. I love you. God loves you and I can't wait to share with you all about the love that God pours into these girls next weekend!!

Be blessed!


Sarah Martin said...

Girl! PRAYING!!! Your obedience to this call will be rewarded by an amazing weekend with God. You are the only one God wants for next weekend-he called YOU. Be confident in that calling and go Preach it!!!

love ya!

Terri said...

Bless you for your obedience! His unfailing love will work through you, I know. I look forward to hearing the good reports when you get back from the retreat. I will keep you, the retreat, and your mom in my prayers. Blessings!!

Running the race said...

Great Post Nicki! Be still and know that I am God! Good for you in recognizing the benefit in stepping away from some of the extra noise of the world to hear his Holy Voice. And I know He will speak in a mighty way because you will be listening:)

You have been specially choosen for this assignment because you have the one word for that precious teen that will make sense out of this christian thing that will revolutionize her walk with our Lord.

We will miss your smile face on facebook and your blog. Know that I am praying for you!

PS Thanks for coming up yesterday even tho no chemo...we had a nice lunch which was better than the chemo anyway! Love Mom

Ginger said...

What a beautifully written post from your heart. God will give you strength when you think you don't have any left or aren't equipped for the situation. I am praying for you and your mom.

Marilyn in Mississippi said...

Hope all went well. I'm just now reading about this fabulous opportunity you had to talk to teens about their walk with God. Give us an update.

God bless, Mississippi