Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Call.

I am speechless. I truly am. This cursor in front of me continues to flash and it appears to say, "Write. Write. Write."

I don't know if I can even put into words what I experienced this weekend. It is beyond anything this 'lil writer can put into words. So rather than fumble through my words, perhaps I can just tell you about the weekend.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm so speechless about...this past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to lead a conference for 30 teen girls at Ridgecrest,NC. I have never been so nervous, so out of my element or so in need of God to step down and take over me. I spent an amazing week basically in my prayer closet preparing for this opportunity.

Because authentic destiny...requires preparation. Lot's of preparation. So much preparing, that my Kennyboo wanted to know who I was hiding in my closet because she couldn't understand why I was in there talking and who could be in there that it was so important! {smiles} "You know your a speaker when...."

As I pulled into the conference center, tears filled my eyes. I was overwhelmed that this day had finally come. The enemies attacks had been so strong in the previous weeks I wasn't sure this whole thing would really come to play. But never the less, God had great things to come. And the weekend kicked off in a great way that Friday night as the girls and I met for the first time.

We kept it very informal, had small groups and just a time for getting to know each other better on Friday night. I was able to speak as well as lead one of the small groups for most of the sessions, which was amazing! The girls that God placed in that group have been through some tough things. Things no girl should ever have to face. And yet at their tender ages, they have.

I was grateful that they were so open and willing to talk. Because I know when the truth starts to come out, then victories can start to begin. But it was tough...I will be honest. My heart ached for each of them beyond belief.

Both of the sessions on Saturday went great and God was moving in mighty ways. I could see it in their eyes, they were ready to meet their authentic destiny...to move into the high calling of authenticity in their lives. And they did...oh my...they did.

Some of the younger girls of the group completely stole my heart on Saturday night. They had listened to the message of the book I've been proposing to publishers, "The Unlikely Prom Queen" that morning during our first session and seemed to really connect with the story... and so they went out and bought me a crown! They walked over to me, placed the crown on my head and said, "Nicki...you are our prom queen!"

It was the sweetest thing ever, brought tears to my eyes...but what those girls may never know is what had happened just two hours before that moment. I was in my room preparing for that night's session while they were out snow tubing. I noticed an e-mail had come through on my phone and picked it up to look at it. My heart was racing because I saw that it was an e-mail from a very reputable agent I had just submitted my work to.

On a Saturday night? I didn't think it was good.

The news was devastating. Another no. And with no explanation of why. I was extremely upset but had to pull myself together...I had to. Destiny was at stake for these girls and there was no time to mourn my defeat.

But God used those sweet girls to lift my spirits beyond belief! Isn't it amazing how God will use anything and anyone to move your heart to His eternal destiny??!! God is so good.

But Sunday morning was a day that heaven's gates were rocked out! Decisions were made and lives were changed forever! I believe that God has a great things for this generation coming up and I am so blessed to have just been apart of this weekend. Just to see. And to experience what God is doing with their lives!

It was beautiful.

I will never forget The Call to Authenticity Ridgecrest Conference. It was life-changing. As a friend of mine says, "It's all about Jesus, I just got to play the supporting role." That's exactly how I felt.

The victories are His and the defeats don't matter. Because He won. Satan lost. And that's all that matters in this quiet moment now. Glory and Praise forever to God for all He is and to the authentic destiny's that He calls you and I today.

And now...destiny requres some good sleep. :) Have a great week everyone. I love you so.

7 comments:

Running the race said...

Great post Nicki! I think you should take a picture of the crown and imbed it somehow on your blog. This was the first of many mile stones. The results are Gods. Dad and I celebrate with you! Love mom

ValleyGirl said...

Nicki, it has been amazing to see God working so visibly in your life over the last year or two. (don't remember how long I've been visiting your blog!) You've had what seems like more than your fair share of ups and downs and yet through it all, your attitude has been amazing and God has been able to do a marvelous work IN and THROUGH your life!

I'm "ValleyGirl" because of my agreement with Oswald Chambers' quote ~ We are not built for the mountains and the dawns and aesthetic affinities-- those are for moments of inspiration, that is all. We are built for the Valley, for the ordinary stuff we are in, and that is where we have to prove our mettle. ~ and girl, HE IS PROVING YOUR METTLE!!!

auburnchick said...

Wow! What a roller coaster ride, eh?

You know...as important as putting words down on paper might be, being a part of engraving God's Word on the hearts of young lives is an even greater calling.

Perhaps God is leading you in a different direction...face-to-face sharing, using the book you have penned as a starting point.

Rest up, enjoy your girls and know that you are appreciated and loved.

Jenny said...

Great post Nicki. I bet that crown will stay special all the way up until we are in our 90's!

Sorry about that no, I know how painful that is but just think you are one step closer to finding the right agent for your book!

Love, Jen

Terri said...

That is wonderful!!! I have had those times of "Lord it has to be ALL of You because there is nothing here of me" and He comes through in such a powerful way! Keep answering the call!!! Blessings!

On Purpose said...

You truly make this world a better place! Hugs to you!

Jenifer said...

Oh, how amazingly wonderful!!!! How exciting to be a tool for the Master Craftsman. The lives of those precious girls are forever imprinted with your love and passion for the Lord.

May God be glorified and may you continue to let your light shine before women of all ages!! *wink*

Love ya,
Jenifer