Saturday, May 03, 2008

I miss my thoughts

I was just in the bathtub, admiring my husbands great work how he redid our bathrooms and realizing how flat exhausted I am, and then I realized something else..... I've really missed my thoughts with the Lord the past few weeks. I mean, I've still been having quiet times, praying and praising Him, but I've just felt so clouded with so many things, that I just wanted to stop........and spend time with him.

Today I have felt overwhelmed with life. Wifehood, Motherhood, Friendshiphood (if that's even a word) and most importanly, Christianhood (is that a word either?). Busyness is definetely a strong hold in my life right now. I've let to much on my plate and I'm in burn out mode. But I think a lot of mom's are feeling this way this time of year. And trying to get a house ready to be sold in the midst of's been a recipe for DISASTER in my life. =)

I felt like our trip to Seattle was a complete blur......I feel like I didn't get to really spend any time with my brother or my Aunts, I didn't even get to hug them goodbye. I haven't seen my friends in what seems like forever, I mean, I've seen them in passing, but there hasn't been really any time to do anything. I feel like my man and I are running in two different directions. I feel like Kennedy is NEVER going to behave in public and I will forever be known as "that child's mom". I feel like my girls are slipping through my fingers every day and I never get to spend time with them one on one. I feel like I've lost focus of who I am, the direction I'm going, taking care of myself........ I'm in tears. Maybe this was a bad idea to "blog" this out.

But the good news is.........our for sale sign went out today AND we can actually take showers again (after two days of only being able to sit in about three inches of water in fear that the tile would get wet!) Our bathroom looks great! I'll post pics as soon as I can. ****BTW please make a mental note that PRIMER WITH OIL BASE does NOT and I repeat DOES NOT come out of your hair or skin very easily.........oh my word.

SO.......Heavenly Father, I'm so glad that tomorrow is your day and I do not have nursery duty (Lord, forgive me for saying that)!!! I just want to fully absorb all that you have to say to me and not worry about having to rush here or there, just to sit and be still in your presence. Ok, off to sleep myself Lord. Thank you father that you make all things new every morning. Amen


ValleyGirl said...

Oh, Nicki, I'm sure every woman feels that way from time to time. Not that I'm downplaying how you feel. I totally get it.

You're not alone. We tend to accept the weight of the world and then realize a little too late that it's a little too heavy. I hope you have a great night's sleep and a refreshing, relaxing Sunday.

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Sounds like you need a Sabbath rest. May you find it tomorrow with your Savior.


Technonana said...

Sweet Girl... I have a wonderful book of prayers that I gave my mother when I was just learning what it was to be a mother, and one of the prayers was... I miss myself, Lord. All mothers, long to hear their own name sometimes, to have just one moment of time to themselves...Being a wife and a mother is hard work... That's why God gave women that job. All I can say is "this too shall pass". Know that you are being prayed for!!

Pastor Lisa said...

Be encouraged...been there too. And amazingly find myself there from time-to-time.

I agree with Elaine...a Sabbath rest is in order and pray that He ministers to you in such a way that you leave refreshed and strengthened.

Love ya...