#1 Revere Jesus Christ As Lord

I am up early today! I'm a working momma on Tuesdays and Thursdays but thank goodness it's Christmas break for the girls otherwise I'd have to be up REALLY early. I've got a baby sitter coming today and I hope it all goes well!!! I know she will be fine it's my crazy, fighting, screaming, yelling girl's I'm anxious about. They sure do have that sisterly "dislike" down pat!! Oh my goodness!

I figured since I'm reading through the book I mentioned yesterday, The Seven Life Principles For Every Woman, I'm doing it during my time with the Lord and whenever I can squeeze in a few pages, that I should write my thoughts on here. It really does help when I actually put into words where my mind is!! =)

The Principle #1 is this........"Revere Jesus Christ As Lord". As many times as I've heard this and told other's this, I needed to be reminded that my quite times with the Lord HAVE to be number one. There is NO way, I will ever be the Christian, Wife, Mother, Daughter or Friend that I'm supposed to be if I'm not soaking up His presence each day. I'm sorry to say that I'm just not a good person w/o the grace of God. I'm tired, angry, frustrated with my girls and just plain yucko with my time with God. My patience are pushed WAY beyond the limits each day and I absolutely have seen in my own personal life how much I need my time with Christ.

I love the verse mentioned in Zechariah 1:3 "Return to me" declares the Lord of hosts, "that I may return to you."...........The Lord is always there, just waiting for me to release it all, surrender it and give it up!! I feel like this verse was just waiting for me yesterday when I read it! After honestly not having a quite time for almost FIVE DAYS, I was in a little verse shock......I was desperate for His touch on my life and in my heart. I honestly do not know how non-Christians are nice people......it is almost impossible for me to even have a smile on my face w/o my time alone with God. I was desperate for Him to "Return to me." But HE was just waiting for me...........wow, what precious thoughts!

There was another thing that totally grabbed my heart this morning..........this quote from Oswald Chambers......."A ready person never has to get ready." HELLO???!!! All this time I've been feeling like God is "preparing" me for something.....yes, He's molding me and shaping me into who He wants me to be, taking all the yuck away and letting him rule allows a great work to happen!! I have to always be ready........God NEVER gives me a lot of time to prepare for something.....normally anytime I've ever witnessed or shared my heart with someone, it's been a spur of the moment kinda deal! My heart has to be ready EVERY DAY for God to do a work in me. This can only come from my personal time alone with him. Oh how I want to "look like Christ"......

Emptying me...........to fill it with Him. You know, as a mom, I find it very hard to get consumed with myself........there's just not a lot of time for this in our house! But, yesterday........I found myself feeling not very qualified to be a mom to THREE girls. It can be very overwhelming at times............the crying, the fighting, the screams, the hateful words........all that can really do a momma in!!! After laying my head down to fall asleep after screaming at the girl's to STOP TALKING.......I thought to myself, there has to be a better way.

And yes, there is a better way..........a nicer way, a more loving way. And that will only come from emptying who I am into who HE is. I will NEVER be qualified to be a stay at home mom or housewife...........or even with my little 8 hour a week job........I will never be qualified to do it well without the Lord. It's when I start to think "I've got this one Lord" when it all falls apart. Just like it has the past few days.......thinking I've got it all together, it'll be ok to miss a few quite times.......WRONG. Oh how I need God to change the momma I am............it's so hard. The ministry that is right here, right now.......it seems to be the one that frustrates me, keeps me up at night (in more ways than one), fills me to the brim........yet challenges me BEYOND belief each day. I was never qualified and never will be.............it will only be through Him anything good will come out of my life with these girls. Lord, HELP!!!!

Ok, well I truly could just go on and on but I'm afraid I've got to get going. I'm a little nervous as this is my first day as the baby photographer at the hospital ON MY OWN..........but thank goodness I'm not alone right???? =) Oh I hope it's a successful day! I need his breath on me so badly!! Better go! Love to you all!!

Walking by faith and never EVER by sight,
Nicki