Thursday, May 17, 2007

A fresh new day.....

Yesterday after I wrote that post on resentment.......I began to feel even more!!! =) AHHH!!! It was like I opened up all the wounds and it was so hard....BUT here's what is so funny, you know all it takes to turn a day around, is just one person! I had to run to Walmart after I dropped Hope off at pre-school and this man......he just touched my soul! He obviously was a little disabled and as I was putting Kennedy in the buggy he says to me in a heart-breaking stutter....."Mornin Ma'm, welcome to Walmart, I hope you have a good day." It was like the Holy Spirit was ALL over this man.......he was filled with JOY and he was passing some along to me. And then, I, that's all it takes is one person to pass on a small little token of kindness to make my soul warm up. He was like a drink of fresh water......and I thought, wow, that's what I always want to be to people, a breath of fresh air, a drink of cool water......

You know, Life is hard. That is not news to anyone! =) But to think that at any given moment we have that ability to be that breath of fresh air to someone. And not just this, "oh I will pray for you about that." (guilty!) But to really draw ourselves full of joy that it's just overflowing into others lives. I think about Holly, on the Crown Laid Down blog, She is so full of joy that it just flows through her words on her blog and comments that she leaves! I bet when she smiles at someone at Walmart, she warms their soul. =)

There are dark souls walking around everywhere, even in Christians. My soul was dark yesterday, it was sad, it was angry and it was resentful. I'm not a perfect person and I will never claim to be, I struggle, oh I struggle so many days to find that pure joy that only can come from Christ. I allow situations, hormones and so much more to master my attitude. How very selfish of me........How very un-godly of me.........How very ugly. But one person's kindness was enough to warm my soul. Isn't that amazing how God always gives us JUST what we need...

I also found that just talking things out sometime really does help. I had a great conversation with my sister-in-law yesterday (thanks for letting me vent!!) and sometimes, we just gotta lay it out........without the fears of being judged or looked down upon! I have had a situation that I really have had a hard time with, it really knocked me down, and really made me not want to pursue friendships (cuz it seems like you always end up getting hurt!!)........but this morning I was talking to my Aunt about it and she was like, "Well that's just crappy." (pardon her use of words!!) But I know what??? It IS. But that's all part of the risks of life......sometimes you fly through it and just soar like an eagle and other times you feel like a small ant just trying to get your food and someone smooshes you! But without the risk you'd never be able to soar!

I so appreciated everyones insight on their thoughts of resentfulness, it's a huge way to put things in perspective! I wanted to post something from Taylor's teacher, she e-mailed it to me and it really made me go........whoa. So I leave you with it today, it's worth the time to read it! Have a very blessed "soaring like an eagle" day!!

It is through the woman that the male gains his castle.
We have the ability to make our dreams of home life and relationships real, established and firm and set in the foundations of Christ. We also have the power to make his life wonderful, one of blessings and we are able to make his dreams of family life become reality.

The other side of the coin is that with all of this ability comes (just as strong) our ability to tear his world apart. With every ounce of dissatisfaction that we take a hold of, our husbands become victim to the consequences. For example, rather than telling our husbands that it would make our lives a whole lot easier if he could help out by simply putting his clothes in the basket when he goes to bed, we get annoyed and don't say a word. Eventually we find ourselves getting annoyed even more at the silliest things.

Our husbands ask us all the time, ' is something wrong?' and we, in frustration, think, 'you should know, I've asked you a thousand times', however our answer to him is, ' no honey, I'm fine'. Yet we treat them like we don't want to talk about anything with them, we treat them like dirt. All because of something that we could have done ourselves in less that two seconds. Hence, to tear down your own home with your own hands.

To sit there and think that our husbands have no idea is ridiculous, they know there's something wrong when you're mad at them, and they know that they will have a much better evening if they go somewhere else! How's that for a man's home - I can't go home, my wife is in one of her moods and I don't even know what I did!"

This is where you meet yourself, the contentious woman.


pinkmommy said...

Wow, that really spoke to me! I, too, have a deep desire to be so filled with the joy of the LORD, that it overflows on others around me. Instead, I often find myself the opposite...bitter and just plain old grumpy. I love your point about life is hard...nothing new there. Everybody has problems, I am going to decide to just get over it and accept the LORD's joy!

The joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

Sharon said...

I'm so glad you had an encouraging trip to Walmart. This is not my favorite place to go probably because of the crowds.
Anyhoo--maybe you had a visit from an angel. The Bible says we can entertain them unaware--maybe that was why the Holy Spirit was all over him.
Cool thought?
I had a little discouragement yesterday with our loan person. But--I am going to keep my eyes on God. He is the ultimate authority in my life and I won't give that to anyone.
How cool that your daughter's teacher was able to be a real blessing--not just to your child--but to you.