Friday, May 18, 2007

Does anyone want to be my sister?? =)

I know.........silly question! But here's the deal. My aunt is here visiting from Arizona and yesterday her, my mom and my girl's were talking about being sisters and I thought......."what a deprived life I have with no sister!" My brother is four years older than me.....just totally different and I thought, I need a sister! I have a friend who is what I would say the closest thing to a sister, but we still have those friendship boundaries, I'm sure the sister boundaries go MUCH further!! So if you wanna be my sister, let me know!! =)

Ok, so I just need to be honest with ya'll for a moment..........I'm a little impatient this morning. Just an tinsy winsy bit..........ok a lot!!! WHY OH WHY does God ALWAYS seem to show up in the eleventh hour???!!!! I feel like I'm in the 8th or 9th hour right now.......gotta long ways to go!!! Sometimes I just really, REALLY wish that God would just do what he's gonna do and be done. And sometimes He for example, when I went grocery shopping this week, He showed up, He guided me, He led me........right when I needed him. But then this living situation, oh my goodness...............My flesh needs him NOW to step down and do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, PLEASE LORD. Now, before you take this as a whiny or complaining post, it's not. I know and realize that I do have so much each day to be thankful for, and I never take any of the blessings he gives me each day for granted, I'm not whinny right now..........I'm in a state of being still, being still, being still..........I feel like a kid in first-grade waiting for playground time!!! =)

You know it's coming, you know it's just around the corner but yet you still have to wait and do your work. And then you're wondering, "Is it going to rain during playground time, cuz that would really stink!" That's how I feel today, waiting to see if the rain will pass and the sun will shine, but I'm not in disobedience, I'm just sitting on the edge. What's it like to be on the edge of disobedience? Let me share with you..........It's a constant battle of the mind, body and soul. Putting your foot over the edge and then quickly drawing it back in fear. Taking a peak just one more time at the other side, and passionately turning your head back in the right direction. Putting up shields of faith in order to fight each arrow that flies constantly at you trying to destroy you before you even reach the other side. Thinking, planning and plotting ways to reach the other side more quickly.........and then casting those plans aside once again!

Oh what Glory will be when we reach the other side the way Christ intends!!! That is where I have to set my mind today. I'm quite sure if I tried hard enough I could find a way to get out of this situation. But then I would be in total disobedience, don't want to be there at ALL. Waiting desperately for God to show himself and lead us into his promises is tough.........but I stand in total awe of Him this morning and the opportunities he has laid before me. I have to share with ya'll that I shut that door with that business opportunity BEFORE it was shut!! =) opps. Well, in my mind I shut it! I finally got the guts up to call that store manager and guess what??? They are still trying to send the order through all the people it has to go through and the top person has been outta DUH that's why I haven't heard anything!!! Now, it doesn't mean that it is going to happen, but it doesn't mean that it's not either. waiting for recess to start and not sure if the sun is gonna shine!!!!

I'm excited to get my ebay lot's back on ebay on Sunday, I will attach a link to this blog so you all can see what I'm all about! I've been a busy bee trying to get it all done!! And you can bid too if you'd like!! =) Well, I leave you with this verse this morning and for the rest of the week, it's a busy weekend so I've gotta get going. Psalm 5:1-3 "Give ear to my words O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help my King and my God for to you I pray. In the MORNING O Lord you hear my voice, in the MORNING I lay my requests before you and WAIT IN EXPECTATION."

May you reach your recess time today VERY BLESSED!!!
Walking by Faith, and NOT by Sight,


Leigh Gray said...

Count me in as a sister!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't have one either and think the bond i see in my girls especially is so neat - especially since they are sooooooooooo close in age!! I know you can relate!!

Love your heart, especially today! and obviously i like the word "especially" - hee hee

See you out on the playground!!

Tisha Margraves said...

Nicki - I too would totally love to be your sister. As an only child I hate that I missed out on that whole family dynamic. I hate that my girls don't have tons of cousins around them. SO, I would love to be your sister!! We actually have a lot in common I have learned through reading your blog. Let's get our girls together over the summer and hang out some!!


Nicki said...

Ok girls, so we're all sisters now!!! =) TISHA!! I'm so glad you stopped by!! Yea!! and YES let's get the girls together VERY SOON. You know by Friday they are going to be driving me up the wall!! =)

CrownLaidDown said...

That corner is SO VERY MUCH WORTH IT...keep taking a step at a time..hold yourself still and say God I want everything you have for me in this journey. I don't want to miss one thing...I want to get it! He will and you will be so glad!

I'll be your sister! You read my sister story. I have always felt deprived not having that kind of relationship growing up. But God knows what he's doing. This blogging stuff alone shows that He is at work...connecting women who love the Lord and need encouragement. That's why I'm doing it.

Praying, Sister!

Beth said...

I don't have a sister either! I have one younger brother (16 months younger) and we were the best of friends growing up (we moved around a lot). But I've really missed not having a sister. I used to ask my mom for an older sister not realizing that it wasn't possible! LOL. I married a man with 5 sisters, one my age and the others older, plus 1 brother with a wonderful wife. I got my sisters as an adult and I love them all so very much. I've also been blessed with a wonderful group of email loop ladies that I have been corresponding with for almost 10 years (a group of 10 ladies, more or less through the years). I count them as my sisters too. I'd be glad to include you as a sister, Nicki!

As for that feeling of anticipation, I know it well. One thing I've learned through life is that once I learn to be content where I am, then God will take me to the next level. It's like he wants to teach me contentment in ALL things. And I've been through a lot financially, physically and personally. But that being content is so very, very difficult! I pray that you will have a peace about your situation, whatever it may be, and that God will grow and stretch you beyond what you ever thought possible. He is continually making you the woman He wants you to be. God bless you.