Wednesday, April 18, 2007

To bow the knee

I really like that phrase, "bow the knee". It keeps coming up more and more in my life each day. Perhaps God is trying to get a message to my heart, again. You know, prayer can be a hard thing sometimes. Just not knowing what to pray. I can think of several situations in my life where I am praying for someone for something that I just don't feel is right. In fact one of these people I was talking to yesterday. They were telling me that they are done praying specifically, they are in complete surrender. So, they are praying for God's will. The problem is, there is a lot tied up to a decision that they have made that they aren't sure if it's God's plan. I have been there! We make quick decisions and then the consequences are enormous! In fact I'm sure if circumstances would have allowed it, I would be in one of those situations once again.

So this person and I were talking about "what to pray". I'm at a point right now where I feel like God is doing a huge break through in my prayer life. I'm seeing more and more what He desires it to be. Is it so wrong to come before the Lord with very specific prayers? I mean, NO WHERE in God's precious words will you find this prayer of mine, "Oh Lord, I want a big white house with a wrap around front porch." But I can find MANY verses that say things like, "God will provide......or Ask and it will be given to you." I can't help but think more and more that I do not know what is best for me or my life. The more I think I do, the more I am proved wrong.

What I was telling my friend I have seen in my life is this, when I am in a time of great confusion, just not knowing what direction I need to go, the more specific my prayers are, the more I get confused. But when I truly come before the Lord and pray HIS OWN WORDS, it's a huge change. It's like, I'm not in control anyways, so why would I try to be? Why would I try to tell God my specific needs? Like, who am I to tell God to please send Kris another side job this week so that he can provide. What if God has another way for Him to provide? Instead if I pray, "Lord, Your words say that, Your thoughts are not my thoughts and my ways are not your ways, so I trust in you to provide in whatever way you see fit." More and more I'm seeing that what I've got up my sleeve is in NO comparison to what He's got up HIS!!! =) Again I see, how many blessings have I missed out on because I had another plan???

Now, I started thinking, well what about when people are sick? I found several verses that really do say it's through faith that people are made well. But I can't help but think, but what about all the people who aren't made well, and you know they have faith? This is a hard one, and one I'm just not sure about yet. I go back to a baby that changed my faith forever, Emma Grace. A baby at our church how died from cancer. I have never seen such an out pour of prayer and faith for that sweet family. We were all waiting in expectation for God to step down and prove himself to the dr.'s and that family. But God said no and took Emma home. Oh how sad I was for that family. How sad I still am. But I know this, Emma changed my life, she changed the way I look at these girls.

But, I just don't know because I could sit here all day and tell you of the people I know that God has completely healed. That God has answered their prayers. What's the difference? I don't know, and perhaps I may never know until I see God face to face. That will be one of my first questions, along with why does teething hurt babies SO BAD??? Some mercy please?? =) Kennedy Grace has been so ILL from her teeth. Oh she is just mean. Bless her sweet heart. She has started this shaking her head no thing. Kennyboo, You want a million dollars? (shakes head no)

I took both of the girl's to the dr. yesterday again. This time they are doing LOT'S of tests to figure out what is going on with them. They have both had this stomach thing way to long. It will be a couple of days until we know anything. I wait and I pray for God's healing touch. I just want them well, having sick girl's this long has been very frustrating. It's going on almost two months now of this off and on stuff. I thought for so long that they just had a bug and were passing it back and forth, but the dr. does not think so. I'm trying very hard not to worry, I'm sure things will be fine.

Well, gotta go, I hope this makes sense this morning, not sure. Have a blessed day!


Gina said...

God's been rocking my prayer life as well, mainly by putting so many hurting, sick and needy people in my path. I can't go a few hours without offering prayers to God.

Tanya said...

Your post makes me think of Philip Yancey's new book: "Prayer". I just got it, but haven't read it yet, but it seems to touch on many of these issues. If God already knows the answer, what is the point of prayer? Is it for us? Does it make a difference? We know it does, but these questions are always there. Thank you for a thought-provoking post! Hope your girls feel better soon. :) We went through months of that before finding my son's food allergies. I pray you'll find whatever it is in short order.

Nicki said...

Tanya, I will have to get that book, it sounds AWESOME!! Thanks for sharing that!!! Also thanks for praying for our girls, I'm sure you know the great frustrations through this!!!