Thursday, April 19, 2007

Has He been good to you?

Today as I was going through my devotion, I cam across this verse in Psalm 13:5-6 it says this: "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me." Two things that really stood out to me and spoke were this, 1. unfailing love, this reminds me of the phrase "perfect faithfulness", the two words together are just amazing. I think of how many times I have felt that God has let me down, and then I'm reminded that He does not fail, it is I who fail to receive his "unfailing love". And the second part of that verse "The Lord has been good to me", that really speaks big this morning. You know so many times we judge each other's success's on what we have. Kris and I joke with each other that as of next week we will be homeless! =) Although it's a joke, it's technically true! So, we leave this home with almost no furniture, since I sold it all!, and two cars and three precious girls. Now, the way the world may look at it, God has not provided. But you see, I'm looking at this time as God's blessing. First, it's during the summer time, so not to much of our routine will be messed up, secondly, not everyone gets this chance to start over, to make wise choices and to get back on our feet. God has definitely seen us through this year, but my heart says this, we are not rich, we are not even well off........but, we have just what we need today. We are not poor, we are not hungry, we have clothes, a roof over our heads and reliable cars. So, God has been so good to me.

I have many desires, especially in ministry that are not even close to being met yet. I have many desires of the flesh, that need to just go away, and I have many desires for my marriage that God is working out in his time. But, I feel like God has said to me, It's just time to be still for awhile. I know God has blessed me to be able to stay at home with these girls. And although I have tried to "fight it", meaning trying to get a job, I'm so glad that God did not allow it. He's allowed my home business to do well, but like I said, I just feel like He's saying........right now, just be still, serve me, but chill out. As I think of all the doors in my life I have tried to push open, even in HIS name, I just can't help but be reminded of Eccl, "A time for everything."

I was telling a friend, I'm so glad that God has not allowed me to work outside of our home, because as sick as these girl's have been this year, I would not have been a reliable employee. Again, something God knew, but I didn't. I think of this situation with someone close to me and how God is really working, and perhaps if I had a job, I wouldn't be as faithful to help. I would be to "busy". Sometimes our mission fields are huge, other times they are very simple, and very close to home. I can't wait until August when I can sit here and write about all the amazing ways I have seen God work this summer. It's exciting, it's scary, but I also know that God is good, His "unfailing love" and His "perfect faithfulness" is going to shine through me.

As Kennedy has been transitioning to toddler from baby, I can honestly say, I'm ok with it. After Taylor and Hope were around this age, I starting getting that urge for another baby. But I can honestly say, that it's exciting to see these girls grow and I can't wait to see what God has in store for each of them. A season of my life is over, and as I embark on a new season, I just can't wait to see what God has up. So as I continue this busy day of finishing up packing, (it just never ends), and laundry, I can do it with a smile upon my face, knowing that the next time I take those things out of a box, it's going to be in a house that is truly a gift from the Lord, a blessing from him. No matter where it is, how many sq feet, whether it has three or four bedrooms, I don't know, BUT God knows, and that's what I smile at, He already knows it all! He sees the outcome of every trial we are facing right now.

I still don't have any results back from the girl's testing, they were a little better yesterday. But that's what they do, they get really sick, get better, get really sick, get better, it's crazy. So, I wait, maybe we'll hear something today. So, I'm has HE been good to you??? Have a blessed day!!! ps-weigh in is tonight! I'm anxious to see!! I THINK I've done ok this week, but you know, you just never know! =)


Leigh Gray said...

Hey girl - me again, i hope you don't mind me posting a comment so often - just can't help it.

1) when you feel like the time is right, you have scriptural confirmation, and know what the direction is for ministry I will help you in any way i can. I am not well known, i am not a pro, i am not anything like what a big name might could do, but i would be willing to help you. I will wait for you to know.

2)DON"T ROLL YOUR EYES ON THIS hee hee Nicki, I too am excited to see His plan unfold for you. We have been through a similiar expereince just recently. I knwo you are thinking - yeah right. You are right, financially we are different. We had the cars, big monster house, clothes, private school, all of it without debt... But God has asked that we do without all that and start over. You are also right, not many get to do that either by choice or forced to start over. It takes guts and much faith. True, we are even now more financially free since all that is sold or not part of our lives any longer (private school), but it has been a complete joy to give it all back to Him. I don't think we were living in big sin with all that stuff, blesings i think, but He asked us to be radiclaly obedient. SO while our situations are not completely the same, I really can relate. We live in a small house now, still have the car because my fmaily is so big, but i don't think any of my new friends know what i come from. It is so great and freeing!! Am I making any sense?

He is going to bless Your socks off. You just wait and see. I have seen your attitude change so much over the past month about this whole ordeal. He is growing you and that may be the biggest blessing of all.

House of any size, cars, private school, money or nest egg - all of it is just temporal. Yes, nice to have, but also even greater to give back. I know........ And i know you know as well, but believing and living it are really different. I consider you greatly blessed because He is teaching this to you. I know I am blesed because of my lesson too.

Ok - that is enough!! Love you!

Nicki said...

Ok, you KNOW I LOVE comments!!! Thank you for your words of wisdom! I have to tell you I have truly seen you "walk the walk" with this move you have taken! THANK YOU!!!!