Monday, February 12, 2007

I can see....

I can see it's going to be ONE OF THOSE DAYS............It's only 8:30am and I'm already in a grumpy mood. I didn't realize until late last night that Taylor didn't have school today....not that I mind having her home, I just mind all the fighting. I don't know exactly why her and Hope have to be this way. It's like they have to be entertained 24/7. When I was a little girl I remember spending HOURS in my room just playing away, and I didn't even have anyone to play with, I just played. At least they have each other but, they just can't seem to figure out what to do except BUG me. I don't mind them being around, I love them dearly, there are just days when I have things to get done and I just need them to play nicely.

I've started wondering, is this what happens when we as mom's overbook our kids? They don't even know how to play by themselves because they are so used to having somewhere to go and something to do that on days like this all they do is fight because they are bored outta their minds? If so, how do I stop this cycle? Or is it better to just keep them busy and have activities all the time? Does it make them happier because they are not fighting all day? I don't know........random thoughts today.

I have to tell ya'll about the Selah concert. I was SOOO excited about going and I left there SOOO disappointed. I don't want to sound negative but, I was really disappointed with the performance that they put on. First, I didn't know they had a new girl lead singer. Then, they didn't even bring their band with them.......they sat on stools and sang to a CD. Then not the lead guy but the piano guy had a cold so he didn't even sing the whole time, not that he could help that but.....it was just all so disappointing. I thought to myself, I wonder if anyone else feels this way or is it just me??? To make things worse, there was a lady sitting right next to me and bless her heart.........she could not carry a tune but oh my she was singing her heart out!

Kris warned me that it was going to be like that since he knew that he didn't have to set up all the equipment and the stage that he did for Big Daddy Weave. But, I guess in my heart I was still hoping for a "real" concert with Selah. It could've been so awesome, and I still enjoyed hearing their songs and listening to them speak. But, Kris and I did have a nice night away from the girls. We went shopping before the concert and went out to dinner, that was fun!

I'm so afraid to weigh in tonight before bible study. I KNOW it's not going to be good. I've really got to get serious about eating right. It's like now I've got the exercise part down but the eating isn't right on. But, I'm going to get back on track today, one day, one meal, one pound at at time. I've also discovered that writing everything down is huge for me, many days I tell myself I can keep track of this in my head but there's a lot going on in there!!! =)Water is also huge with my weight loss, it seems like when I'm writing everything down and drinking water, it just comes right off but when I get a little slack like I have been, I forget when and what I ate. I know getting back on track with accountability is going to help. I've missed my bible study group so much the past few weeks. We haven't met for a number of reasons but we're back on track tonight. Finishing up our study on Angels.

Last night as I was going over some of the material, God really spoke to my heart about this daily battle I'm in. And isn't it ironic that this morning I awake to all kinds of battles: weight, housework, Kris, the girls, my quite time and a baby with an upset tummy (yuck). But I know that it's all the arrows of satan's attacks coming straight at me. I know if I can put up my shield of faith, I will get through this day. I really believe the key to spiritual victory is pretty much the same as weight loss victory, we have to RECOGNIZE when we're under attack. And boy oh boy do I recognize that I'm in an attack right now.

So I'll slip on that belt of truth, knowing that I have to be honest with everything I'm facing. Yes, I've messed up with keeping track of my points, Yes the girls are getting on my nerves, but I don't have to be so grumpy with them. I will put on my shoes of peace and be peaceful as I get ready to clean this house again, this is my job right now and I can do it and be peaceful through every sock I fold and toilet I clean! =) I will have my shield of faith on at all times today so I can block all those attacks I feel coming on. And yes, I will have my most treasured possession for this battle today.......God's word, the sword of the spirit. (For those of you wondering where this is from in the bible check out Ephesians 6:10-18)

There will come a day when all this will come to an end.....puppy, diapers, fights and tears. Yes one day they will all three be off in this big, big world. There will come a day when the house will stay clean, but I'm sure my heart will break because it will mean it's empty. I'm sure one day I'll long to hear "Mommy!!! I opsy doopsy colored on the wall!" (I seriously just heard that) I know one day, this all will end, laundry, cleaning, fights, glitter, baby dolls, puppy's, screaming, thumb suckers, woobie holders and precious smiles will all fade away. So off I go, to be a mommy, another day. Another day to wipe the tears and stop the fights, to hold them close and not let go. To make them smile and teach them the right way to clean. =)Learning to read and write and maybe walk! =)(one day kennyboo like it or not, you will walk!) Yes, just another day in a mommy's world......... blessings to you this precious day!!

4 comments:

Beckie said...

Hi Nicki. Thanks so much for coming by my blog and commenting~it means a lot.

I know it's discouraging being a mom sometimes. My girls are 22 and 20 and both STILL living at home. The oldest one is married and her husband and daughter live here too and we have a tiny house.

Take courage from God's word and be blessed today.

Beckie said...

me again...you have three BEAUTIFUL girls!

eph2810 said...

Your three girls are beautiful. I know it is hard to raise little ones, but you are right. When they are all grown up, you will miss the 'chaos' in your home...*sigh*...But I think you are on the right track with arming yourself with God's armor :)....
Sorry that you had a bad experience at the concert, but you time away and got refilled outside the home...

Blessings on your day and always...

Karen Wingate said...

I love your line about strapping on God's belt of truth and being honest with yourself! Something I need to remember! What precious memories you are building with your children. Each year gets better and better. Sometimes I think, oh I wish my girls would stop growing and be this way forever, but the next year is even better. Isn't being a mom great?