Sunday, January 21, 2007

God, What are you saying to me?

I do not understand what it is that God is saying to me. I got an answer........sorta......about this job. There has been a lot of miscommunication. But, I'm just not sure I'll be able to work all the details out with the girls. The training hours are going to make things very complicated and very expensive. And training lasts for four weeks so it's not like I just have to suck it up for a week or two, it will actually be almost five weeks. Is this what God is calling me to do? Is this what He wants and desires for me? Why do I feel like any decision I make is a wrong one? I feel like financially Taylor will not be able to continue at HGBC if I do not work, and it's not like I'm taking this job for extra income.......we need it. But why is God has seen us through this whole year and just now things are getting bad? Well, I know part of the reason is our van brooke down and now we have a car payment again. Do we quit pre-school and HGBC and homeschool?? I just don't think I can do it. Or do we give this job a good shot and walk in faith that everything is going to work out? Why do I feel like this bible study is going to fall apart? Why do I feel like I won't be able to be there for my girls as much as I'd like? But why also do I feel that my husband has this great burden on him to provide and he is doing all he can.........why do I feel I need to help?? Why do I have this urgency on my heart to write and lead bible studies yet the same urgency to help our family survive? Is there a balance to it all? Is there a way to make it all happen? Oh so many questions yet no answers.........

It's Sunday morning and Hope is home very sick. She was up a bunch last night. Same thing whatever Taylor had, it's a bad bug. Oh Lord, please protect me from this bug! Taylor went to her good friend's last night for a sleep-over after we had Kennedy's party. Ya'll she was such a mess!!! Oh MY!!! She was so full of herself! And that was EVERYWHERE!!! But, it was so fun to see her all acting "big". So Kris is off to church with Kennedy and picking up Taylor afterwards, which leaves me here to think.......... =) We both are just not sure what the right decision on this is. I'm going to a friend's surprise party at least that will get me out of the house for a while.

We changed our weight watchers meetings to Monday nights before bible study, since everyone was pretty much coming to bible study anyways. So I will be anxious to see what the dreaded scale says tomorrow. I know I'd better watch it today! I'm keeping my eye on the goal........THE BEACH THIS SUMMER!!!

Taylor and the girls had their game yesterday. I guess I'd better get busy on coming up with another routine and cheers for these girls.....they were getting pretty bored. Amazing how fast they change!! They are so sweet though. I made bows for each of them....they all looked so cute! oh I Taylor is OUT of this "cute" phase!! I've absolutely loved each of these girls. They are just so sweet and so energetic!!

Puppy Princeton is getting much better! He actually slept in this morning until 7am!!! That's a HUGE change, he's been barking at 4:30-5:30 am every morning! He's a sweet boy.......but he's just so messy. He's chewed up all of our shoes.......drags mud EVERYWHERE........pulls ALL of his toys out everywhere. But he's got a good temperment. If I could just get him to stop jumping, he'd be great! He's huge too now. Oh my......he's gonna be BIG. But, I love him, he reminds me so much of our old dog, Tyler. He even looks like him!! Same color and everything.

Well, I guess I'd better go put on the "nurse" hat for Ms.Hopie. She's groaning on the couch! Poor thing....I hope you have blessed day........thanks for reading and letting me "vent" my many, many questions today!

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