Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Just something missing

I realized this morning during my quiet time that I have missed going to church tremendously the past two weeks. Kennedy has been sick both Sundays and Kris had to work so there really was no option. There really is something to be said about being in the presence of the Lord on Sunday mornings. Over the years of my life I have often come across people who say they don't feel like they need church. They feel like they can have just as good of a relationship with the Lord outside of church as they can in the church. Some of these people don't go to church because they just can't find a church that they "agree" with. I don't know how they do it. I miss just being in God's house so much, I just can't stand it. It has affected me so much. I will be honest, there are MANY Sundays where I go to church and it's just going through the motions. But, I can't help but think that I'm still surrounded by other believers and I'm in God's house, so how can I not be effected by that?

I don't look foreword to seeing friends at church or just getting a break from the kids. I look foreword to sitting in the presence of God, no matter where I am. Yes it always helps to see friends and to be encouraged by them, but I just want to worship. I just want to feel God's presence around me with other believers, whether I'm friends or not with them. I know that every Sunday God's got something to say to me. I know that every day God's got something to say to me, but on Sunday's I know that God is speaking through whoever is preaching directly at me. It's my choice if I want to listen to it and apply it to my life.

So, going to church is precious to my heart! I miss is, I crave it and I can't wait until Sunday morning. My prayer is that I won't take it for granted anymore. I won't get caught up in the "social" aspect of church. That I won't go and just go through the motions ever again. My spirit needs to be renewed and I have that opportunity each and every Sunday.

This morning, I went through my bible and just sat for a while reading all the promises that God has given me. I like to underline and write little comments on the sides that remind me of how God has shown that promise to me. A verse that just keeps coming back to me is, Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." That is where all of my hope is today. For these unanswered prayers I have, for the frustrations of life I have, for the direction God is taking me. I don't need to know all the answers, I just need to know that God knows them and He is working them out in ways I can't even begin to imagine.

I'm such a "have to know" where my life is going kind of person, that sometimes I can get sidetracked by trying to "figure it all out". I make my lists, I weigh the pro's an con's, I write and write, and seek and seek. When sometimes all God wants me to do is just let Him take the wheel and drive me to my next destination. If I claim that verse and I know that God does not want to bring me harm, He wants me to prosper and He's given me a future and my hope, then I just can't go wrong. I told God this morning, I'm so tired of praying about this...and I almost felt like God said, "I'm so tired of you praying about this, I've already got it worked out." Not that I believe God ever wants us to stop praying about major concerns on our hearts, but I do believe that once we've "laid it down" He really means to LAY IT DOWN! Sometimes I think God is like Kris, I've got to remind Him of all the requests that have GOT to be answered. And God isn't like that at all, is he.

Sorry about my going on and on about this today. I've got to get this through my head and through my heart. I truly hope you have a very blessed and worry-free day!!!!

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