Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Ouch! The truth hurts!!!

Oh my oh my does it hurt to really see the truth about yourself. I have been so humbled the past few days by God that I was almost to the point of tears yesterday. God has opened my eyes to so many aspects of my life it's unreal. Sometimes I feel like saying God PLEASE NO MORE. I'm so glad that God pushed me into studying His word so deeply and so sincerely. I truly want to be more like Him and I'm in a situation now where I see my faults at large. While writing the study the other day I was writing about darkness and how sometimes I believe God does not want us to forget our dark days because it's through the darkness that he shines the most. So I started remembering situations that have happened and things I have said or done to others and my heart just sank. Why did I get myself into those conversations and thoughts? Why do I try to act like I've got it all together in front of certain people? When deep down I really don't. But I feel like God has revealed my faults to me in such a real way that I will never forget. That's they saying for 9/11 never forget, well guess what? That's my new saying. Never forget where God has brought you from. It's so easy to lean upon the Lord when things are hard or things aren't going the way you want them to but I see that's not what God wants from me. He wants me to lean on Him in every situation and every battle and never to forget the things He has delievered me from.

Today I was writing about forgiveness. Forgiveness has so many different aspects but they all fall together. I never realized how much forgiveness plays such an important role in my every day life. But verse by verse God has shown me what His desire for forgiveness is and how freeing it is to have forgiveness in our lives not just for the big stuff but also for the small stuff. Here's an exert from the study:
When we begin to forgive others even those who don't ask for forgiveness we can begin to forgive ourselves. After all we are our biggest critic. God doesn't hold things over our heads, He is s a very forgiving God. But God does share through many verses that basically you get back what you put out. And if we aren't willing to forgive AND forget other mistakes or wrongdoings then don't expect others to forgive you when you mess up. It's also very important to understand the forget it part of all of this. The more we hold bitterness and anger in our hearts the worse off we are going to be. We can waste our time dwelling and planning revenge even in the smallest circumstances or we can give it over to God and let Him deal with it. How freeing that is!

October 16th is the big day, it's the night of our first bible study. I've got about six ladies that are committed to coming that night. I'm so excited because when I started this I didn't know if anyone would want to come, but I see that it's not who I want there, it's all who God wants there. After all, I've got nothing to say, it's Him speaking, not me.

Well, I guess I'd better go, kids to pick up, laundry to do, dinner to cook...........have a great day!

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