Wednesday, September 13, 2006

From loneliness to brokenness?

I haven't written in a few days because I've been very upset about a lot of things in my life lately and I don't want to be a whiner, I want to be an encourager. Ever since I have been writhing this bible study that I've felt God leading me to do, my walk with the Lord has been a roller coaster. I've had days where I've been on top of the mountain and God has used me in amazing ways and then there have been days where I've been deep in the valley. I have to say, it's a lot easier to be on top of the mountain than it is to get out of the valley. One thing that has just been so difficult is the loneliness that I have felt through this whole process. I don't have a huge support system in fact the only person that has supported me is Kris, and I have to say he's not the greatest encourager, it's just not his personality to be like, "Come on Nicki, you can do it!" So I've soley had to rely on the Lord to get me through each day of studying His word deeper and deeper. So this morning I was writhing in my journal, God I'm just so lonely, I don't have the encouragement I need to succeed, (Satan was just having a good ole time in my heart). So I put on the TV to Joyce Meyer and guess what she was talking about? LONELINESS!! She made some excellent points and so much of what she was saying I could relate to. The fact is, if God is going to use me, I'm going to have to go through these periods of loneliness, He can't speak to me if I've got all this "stuff" going on and I don't make time for Him. So I believe there is a balance and I definitely need people in my life. I believe God uses us to encourage and help eachother but I'm going to be thankful for this time of brokenness that God has given me. He's got something to say, I'm listening.

Kennedy's baby dedication was on Sunday, it went really well. I was so pleased with the message that Dr.Brown shared with everyone. I've been burdened for some people to come to know Christ and they were there on Sunday so I know they've heard the message, now it's a heart issue.

Taylor is doing well in school, she has her first book report due today. She did hers on Monarch Butterflies. She has to make a little presentation today and she was so nervous! She's not one to say, "look at me!" she's just very simple and doesn't have to be the center of attention unlike..........Hope Ann!! She is a mess. The things that child says! Oh my goodness! I guess it's that middle child personality. She is so strong willed. She is doing very well in preschool, no problems so far. I just love her teachers, they are so sweet to her.

Mrs. Martha is doing well, she's home and resting. She's going to have to have another surgery which she doesn't like as she has said, "I don't have time for all this mess!" Bless her heart! Talk about strong willed! Oh my!!! NOTHING will stop that woman, Nothing!!!

Well, I hope you all are doing good, I've got to get Hope ready for school and I'm going to finish painting my living room, well I've got to repaint my living room, the first color didn't come out right. Aunt Karen I need your help!!! =) Have a blessed day everyone!

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