Thursday, July 15, 2010

It's hard.

Balance.

That is something I don't have a hold on right now. This blog has been very quite this summer and I'm sorry.

So much has been going on, I almost can't keep up. Our company, Trust Electrical (click to go to the website), is up and running and moving fast. I have been so amazed at God's hands of blessing as we've journeyed into this but I have also felt overwhelmed at times.

A friend of mine wrote the most beautiful prayer gift for our company. I'm waiting to get it framed but for now, it's taped to the wall above our desk. As I think about the words and verses that she has poured into the foundation for us, I can't help but continue to soak on the ability to always pass on the goodness of God.

You and I always have that ability. And it's truly one of the most powerful perspectives of Christ there is, He is good.

So while there has been some bad mixed into all this good, like with any situation, I have done my best to rest on that standard: God is for us. He is with us. He stands beside us. And if our God is for us, than what can stand against?

Then, there's this whole other dimension to my life right now. The writing. The She Speaks conference is coming in less that two weeks and the Philadelphia Writer's conference is less than a month away. So...there's not been a lot of time to mess around anymore with the proposal and my chapters.

And I have to confess that, it's been hard. Because writing this book is a dream -absolutely. But I believe it's a purpose from God. I have no dreams to become famous, or to make gazillions of dollars to to have this be my boosting platform I need to "make-it" in ministry. Those ideas mean nothing to me.

When I work on the words that flow through my fingers for that project, I think of the girl, I don't know who she is, but I know where she's at. Because of mistakes, failures and rejections an inner rebellion in her heart has begun because she believes the same lies that the devil tells me way to much. You are not worthy. God doesn't choose you.

And she is on my mind every time I begin to write.

But it's hard. Walking through those painful memories, it's hard. It stirs up things in my heart I'd rather not deal with. But then I think of her. What she's walking through right now -it's hard. It's painful. And she'd rather not deal with it...but she is. So it makes me press on.

Dream holders...I believe God is continually showing us over and over that perseverance pays off...yes. But that to see that dream come into full-circle, it's going to be hard.

And then -there are going to be the dream haters. Those that tell us things like, you are absolutely crazy to start a company in this economy -I don't support you. Or way to many people are trying to get published right now -I'll support the other dream you pursue. I guarantee for the dream in your heart, there's been a hater in your life for that dream.

But one promise that I've been standing on for everything we are going through right now is this. When God needs to deliver you into your purpose, He's gonna have to deliver everything around you too.

It's going to be hard. There's going to be haters -but don't give up. Stand firm on the promise that God has given YOU.

Through the process there will be a lot of refinement. You will see things about yourself that are not the most beautiful aspects. But know that as God brings those things into your perspective, He's doing it to make you all He wants you to be. Embrace the hard things because they are what God needs to use the most.

I love you friends. Each of you mean so much to me. I can't believe I've been blogging for four years this month. God has allowed so many people to come into my life through what started off as just a daily journal. And I believe in you. Press on with that dream in your heart. God's got great and mighty things to come.

Be an ambassador of God's goodness and watch it flow into your life too.

Much love in Him,
Nicki

5 comments:

Karen Hammons said...

Oh sweet friend. This post is like reading from my own journal of thoughts and feelings over the past month. It's hard, but we have to quit listening to the haters of dreams. Including the doubts running through our own minds. I am so excited for everything God is bringing you into!! You keep going the distance girlie!! Your God is for you and will complete the work He has planned.

Hugs and Love -
Karen

Lisa B @ simply His said...

I love this Nicki. You are a beautiful, wonderful writer and I'm so thankful to have gotten to know you a little this past year! Looking forward to hanging out at She Speaks too :)

{{hugs}}
Lisa B.

On Purpose said...

You are beautiful...and knowing you from a distance just means that the Jesus that shines so brightly through you gets to hit this West Coast...praying and knowing He is readying you in His perfect timing!

auburnchick said...

As I read your post, I couldn't help but think of the Chris Tomlin song, Our God (link to the video is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op4n0EF3PdU ).

I think that you and your husband are wonderful examples of what it means to step out in faith...especially during uncertain times. Nobody should judge you for that.

Kirsten said...

I'm headed to the Philadelphia Writer's Conference as well! Maybe I will see you there! :)