Monday, March 15, 2010

The season of..."this sucks".

I've got to be raw for a moment. Honesty and rawness? Not the same.

Nope. Rawness...isn't fun to write about.

This season of life I'm currently in? It sucks. Yes. It does. There, I said it.

I mean, sometimes -life just sucks. Now yes, there's been lot's of good woven in-between the suckiness [btw, if that word offends, sorry? get over it? stop reading?] but the general aroma of 2010 so far has been...this sucks.

So what do you do when Well, I've been asking that question this morning because let's face it...we all have seasons of life like this.

It would be easy for the holier-than-thou person [not that ANY of those read this blog] to say something like, "Well, you are just not finding favor with God right now." or to ask, "Is there some type of un-confessed sin in your life that's keeping you from great things?" But, I just don't comprehend judgemental questions or statements like that very well.

Perspective tells me that this is not a season of great tragedy or horrific circumstances -I get that. Emotions tell me that pain and heartache is sometimes just a part of life -I get that too.

But I think what you and I fail to realize is, typically when life sucks, it's because things are just not going our way. Yes, I'd prefer my mom not have cancer. I'd prefer my husband to be home more. I'd prefer to be celebrating my 10-year anniversary in Hawaii rather than at the car repair shop.

When it feels like things are just so out of control and when you can't do a whole lot about the things...then it sucks.

And I really think that the majority of depression in women arrives from a season of "this sucks". It's hard to see the end. It's hard to feel the greatness coming. It's hard to let go of control and allow the world around us to continue to spin -without our permission.[wink]

But I've begun to see that the season of "this sucks" can be one of the greatest seasons of growth spiritually in our lives. Why? Because it allows for God to work in new circumstances.

You can't teach a woman a new destiny in an old purpose.

What do I mean by that?

Have you ever heard someone say, "I'm praying for God to do a new thing in my life." but then...they remain exactly where they are at in life? They do nothing new...they move in no new direction? How did that "new thing" work out for them? I'm not sure too well.

Ezekiel 36:26 says, "I'll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you. I'll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed."

The truth is, the season of "this sucks" is really a dawning of a new purpose. It's really God doing what He says in this verse above, He replaces the old with something new. Him. Not us.

But how many of us [including myself] stomp our feet and throw our fits and refuse to move into the new purpose? Because the new purpose? It seems to suck. It's not what we are used to or even like. And then, we end right back up on top of the mountain of...defeat.

We like to think of a new thing as something exciting, engaging and that which makes us giddy. I really think those feelings are temporary. Refinement is permanent. And permanent is...purposeful.

As much as I hate to say this...I believe that God is doing a new-thing in me and many of my sister's in Christ. But it has nothing to do with a prize at hand. And I think for the first time in my life, I can really say it's new's hurts. It's been painful. And, it's been a time for a lot of refinement -for all of us.

But I know through it all, it will bring a greater purpose than we can even see, right now.

That's a word I want in my life. Purpose. Enough with the foolishness already, bring on the purpose! And if getting to that point means my life sucking just a bit? Then, that's a part of the walk and walking with Jesus doesn't mean taking the short-cut.

The seasons of life will take us through many routes to purpose. The pathway to purpose isn't the same for everyone. And sometimes it may seem very unclear as to what God is doing. But if we will trust, hang on and believe that every step is leading us into a purposeful destiny, it will be a lot easier to walk through the seasons of "this sucks". [smiles]

For more encouragement to "do-life" with other's, visit Rachel Olsen's devotional blog carnival today! Click here.


Pastor Lisa said...

Nicki, I so understand!

the alleys said...

girl, i'm right there with you in a lot of ways. we seriously need to do coffee/lunch/something soon.

love you!

LaughingLady said...

Oh, honey, you MUST listen to at LEAST the first two ROH broadasts in the series beginning here. In preparing for a message on "wilderness experiences," I just listened to them this morning on my walk. PLEASE take the time to listen ~ I believe there is much encouragement there for people experiencing suckiness. (if you and I both use that word, it must mean it really IS a word!!)

Jenny said...

Hey Nicki, I understand what you mean, as 2009 was my year that just sucked. Nothing horrible, just a lot of not good.

It started in April, Chad lost his job, got our feet semi-under us, and then in August Katie ran away. September my boss decided to make me miserable. December rolled around and I was at the end of me.

Thankfully in my case, I think that is what God was waiting on. Me to learn a new dependence on Him. So new humilty. And you know what else resolve by His power. I had to make some resolutions and ask Him for the power to keep them.


To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power...
2 Thessalonians 1:11

Sarah Martin said...

Purposeful is permanent- whoa girl! Love this. Your dependance on God's strength, continued faith and rawness is purposeful as it brings others closer to Him.

love ya!

Anonymous said...

My Bishop was just talking about different seasons in our lives on Sunday! I guess I needed more confirmation, lol. I love the quote "The seasons of life will take us through many routes to purpose. The pathway to purpose isn't the same for everyone." I will be inserting that onto my March calendar as a reminder.

Mel C said...

Recently having gone through a season of 'this sucks', I can completely relate!!!

But you are right about two things... 1) this is just a season and 2) something great will come out of it if you will let it!

Praying for you during your season of 'this sucks'.

Anonymous said...

I love that you went beyond "honest" to "raw". Thanks for sharing this- I love your realness!

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On Purpose said...

Oh got something here...and yes...there are seasons that suck...but for a purposeful...and I can't help but think the whole cross for Jesus was a pretty 'sucky' season too...right...but He wanted to do the God thing...and I know you do to. Great scripture from Ezkiel!

Running the race said...

Great post Nicki again :) I definately understand what you are saying! I know this whole cancer thing and the distance we now have has been very hard on you. Know that it has been so worth it to me because going through the cancer thing has been such a blessing. Why do I say that? Well the new spring in my step and change of my heart from the inside out has lit my fire again! So I am learning sucky things that turn mucky grow into lucky things:) with God.

Rachel Olsen said...

Thanks for participating in the carnival, Nicki. I pray you find that purpose! We can endure a lot when we know we're walking in His purpose.

Blessings ~ Rachel

Anonymous said...

Totally identify with this today. Got thrown a wrench in our plans with my daughter's college set-up, and while she and the Mr. are singing the "It Sucks," I'm quietly saying, "Trust God." I think it sucks when we realize that Someone greater has control and we don't. But to be able to say, "And yet I trust," in the midst...that's growth and maturity (not that I'm a mature Christian by any means). But you get my point.

Beams of Light Ministries said...

Great post. Understood completely. Your "rawness" is real and appreciated. I liked the way you came back to the real deal - purpose!

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Cindy said...

Yes! You are right! Sometimes life just really sucks!!! I've been through lots of suckiness lately with hubbys illness, loss of employment and other issues! But at the same time God has drawn me to Himself and opened new adventures for us.
Is it easy? NO Way!! Is it rewarding? Eventually!

I am praying that God will continue to reveal the New things He is doing in your life and the lives of those you touch as you journey this "new sucky season".

You are a precious young woman and I am honored to have met you through blogging!!