Sunday, July 12, 2009

Time gets away...

I'm emotional today.

There are many reasons why I'm feeling this way and I don't really know that you want to hear all of my business but oh well....here is my top ten at the moment.

1.My sweet lil nephew...is having some problems with his head, please pray for him and I will update you soon once I get all the details. And it just makes me sad that he's so stikin far away...I wish I could just squeeze him. Because, he just might be the cutest thing I've ever seen.



2. Went to Ikea yesterday and they informed me that this will be the last time Taylor can come to the childcare....girlfriend has grown two inches since the last time we went.....no joke. Which pushes her over the tip of the line in which they measure to see if she can come in....Why this made me misty eyed???

3. Moving. Ya'll.....I don't know how my marriage or my kids have survived moving 6 times in 9 years. *Sighs*

4. This "lil" thing called a book proposal......not so little, not so easy, not so stress-free. Very scared and oh ya....it's in two weeks.
She Speaks!

5. Hormones? Do they make a temporary insanity from moving drug? If so, someone please INFORM ME.

6. Thinking about this being the last summer I will be seeing a 3-year-old with squishy booty cheeks hanging out of a swimsuit....I mean, there is just nothing more precious in the whole world. And it makes me sad that these little things keep growing on me. And I'm just not ok with it, for tonight. But perhaps the next time she again attempts to flush her foot down the toilet....I will wish these days away again.

7. Just saw, "My Sister's Keeper"......oh my goodness, still crying from it. I won't give all the details away but it's a tear jerker!!

8. Hopie (6) informed me the other day through sobbing tears that she feels "lost" in this family of ours.......broke my heart and not sure what to do.....I need more hours in the day it seems.

9. My girls leaving their school.......this still has me very sad....and they are sad and it makes me sad. I guess I still just don't understand why the Lord is doing this.....but I know He has a plan and in that.....I find rest. (tears)

10. No matter what I do, I just can't make time stand still.(more tears)Girls keep growing, Life keeps changing and Time gets away way to easily.

Ya'll...my heart is raw as I write this.

I'm in a tender, foreign spot in my life. One that I'm not quite sure I understand or want to continue to go through. Yet I must press on. I have to keep carrying through. And I have to keep working through all of these days....good and bad, sad and happy.

I have to trust that the Lord is still upon His mighty throne. And that not one step of mine is ever out of His knowledge. That the Father is commanding His angels around my home, protecting us through many things I may not even know about. And to Him nothing makes His mouth drop or His feet stumble.

He is still my God.

And I...am still His girl.

Though I stumble and I fall, daily here it seems.....He will still pick me up from all of this.....set my feet upon the rock and I will stand with hands lifted high, while my Abba Father picks me up to carry me through the rest of this journey.

Because all this girl right here really is, is just a broken down Jesus girl......who got rescued by a King.

And what a King He is that he just continues to make all days new.

8 comments:

auburnchick said...

Oh, my heart is hurting for you just reading your list!! Can I say been there...done that...the moving thing, watching kids get older (my daughter will begin her senior year in August) and has a "Guy Friend."

I'm sure you know that life has seasons. This is obviously one of change for you. Unlike water, it's kind of hard to go with the flow and change course so easily.

You've got the right attitude though. God will steer you through this time, and when you're settled again, you'll look back and be amazed at how much you grew and learned during this segment of your life's journey.

Keep on praying and trusting. And when that doesn't quite settle you, go buy yourself the biggest bar of chocolate you can find...the super size kind.

Hugs...

Cindy said...

Sweet Friend, A new season in your life is always a bit shaky. You are right (in your last post)...Life is hard, but God is good.

You will survive this season and go on to the next but remember to enjoy the journey. Each day is a blessing and there is so much to treasure in each moment.

We can never turn back or stop the clock...you just have this breathe, this moment, today. Take a deep breath, look to Jesus and hand in hand run together:)

Praying for all the things God has placed on your heart and in your life.
Cindy

Tisha said...

Girl - I am right there with you!!! This past year and this summer has been REALLY hard for me. Feel like the girls are slipping by and I am trying to grab hold the best I can. I feel like I am just losing them so FAST!!!! I just want to soak in every moment and sometimes there just aren't enough!! This is another reason I still think about homeschooling. I know its hard!!!

Love ya!!!

Susan Panzica - EternityCafe said...

Dear Nikki,
I was in your small group at last year's She Speaks. I found you through your comment at Lysa TK's blog today. I'll be going to SheSpeaks this year again. I'd LOVE to catch up with you.

I had prayed for your little one's health problems last year. You have such a beautiful sweet tender spirit. Your girls are blessed.

My littlest one just graduated HS in June. It seems like yesterday he was in diapers. So, as I'm sure you know, savor each moment. They're gone in a flash!

Hope to see you soon!
Susan

Ginger said...

Your list....ahh! It brought back so many of the same feelings I felt when my girl was a little younger and yet I'm feeling some of these same things now that she's in her senior year of high school!

I do feel that sometimes when we are going through these times of uncertainty, that's when God is closet to us and we must draw on our faith and trust that He knows what's best for us and our children. It is a really tough spot at times.

On another note, I read My Sister's Keeper a couple of years ago and it was quite "the book". Can't wait to see the movie to compare.

Mimi C said...

Nicki, as I grow older I remember the days when you guys were small. I am reading in Ecclesiastics where there is a time and a season for everything. This book is becoming one of my favorites since that is really how life is. God continues to build on our favorite things with things that are even more magnificant. He is building on the memories... All I can say is get ready for the ride of your life. Our God is an awsome God...I think with a sense of humor. God is working all things out to the good for those who love and called according to his purpose. It will be ok....Love you mom

Sarah Martin said...

Your Girlys have the B.E.S.T. mommy in the world. I love how Hope felt comfortable sharing herfeelings with you, that means she feels safe and secure sharing her deepest heart matters to her mommy. I hope to build that kind of relationship with Gman and I am taking notes from you sweet friend.

love you!
sarah

My Army Brats and Me said...

So have ya missed me because I have missed you! Summer is so busy. I am here and then I am there. No sell yet:( So we need to pick a day maybe tomorrow or Thurs this week or maybe Mon or Tues of next week. Find a park and let the girls play and catch up?? Just let me know-Love ya