Wednesday, May 20, 2009

If they only knew I had a blog.

Everyday, I pass innocent victims.

Those who unknowingly, are taken hostage into this mind of mine and created into a blog post. Most just stay rambled up in my mind, begging to be written out and occasionally, one or two or three make it to the...blog.

It's just kinda a luck of the draw deal.

It must have been a lucky day for my newest preys.

I'm telling you, strange things happen in doctor's office's. There are just all kinds.

Just all kinds.

Meet victim number 1. He is an elderly man, I'd say near his 80's, who doesn't hear very well, smile at silly children or recognize that his shirt just might be un-tucked behind his back. We will call him, Mr. Man.

Victim number 2. Let's just call her, Sweet 'lil 'ol Lady with purple shirt.

And Victim number 3...Well you know her, The Kennyboo. (what kind of blog post would this be without some mishap with the KB?)

These days we are living in, are those of which bathrooms are just a rare commodity in Dr's offices.

Because, the bible describes the end times as having "signs and wonders"....And I'm so sure I could find some type of hidden meaning in scripture that would say something to the sorts of: "In those last days, there shall be rare bathrooms."

Because it's just happening, everywhere! Therefore it must be a "wonder".

It used to be there would be one here, and one there and you just found one when you needed to go! And in "these days" you need keys and codes to get into well-sought-out bathrooms, because someone just might steal some toilet paper or hand soap, because we are in a recession.

However it may be, in these days in which we live in, the Kennyboo needed to go. And when the Kennyboo needs to go....that means she needs to go NOW. Not in five minutes, not in three minutes, not in twenty seconds..now!

Because what would be the purpose of going to the bathroom at the first urge?

I mean, it just takes all the fun out of it.

So we made our way to the receptionist just in time to be cut off by:

Sweet lil 'ol Lady in purple shirt.

"May I please have the key to the Ladies room?" she says in her utmost southern sweet twang to the receptionist.

"Why sure." receptionist hands Sweet 'lil 'ol Lady in purple shirt the key, just in time to see my look of : You've got to be kidding me.

"Scuse me honey." she said shoving her way past my squirmy-three-year-old-panting, squeezing the legs together and holding parts that I'd rather not say and the such.

"Mommy!! I need to go potty NOW!"

"I know Kennedy but we need to wait for the Sweet lil 'ol lady in the purple shirt to finish up."

Enter victim number one, Mr.Man, perhaps purposely not seeing the Kennyboo and all her squirminess, and a new receptionist. "Scuse me, I need to use the men's room."

Apparently, some people think that co-gender bathroom signs are a good reason to clearly "identify" themselves. Because the rest of us, we just might wonder.

In which at this point the Kennyboo decided the urge to go wasn't so sudden, and the need to play with the germ-infested-tinker-toys was looking much more do-able, we made our way back to our seats.

I sat down just in time to see new receptionist handing victim number one a set of keys.

Because, it just might be a good thing to have two sets of keys for the one bathroom in the office because we are in a....recession, you know? Keys just might become something that we are willing to knock-down-steal-destroy to get. I mean, you just never know!

For a moment, I thought about calling out to victim number one and say, "Um, there's someone in there." And then I thought.......hmmm...no, this is going to make a really good blog post. (I'm so kidding)

At precisely the moment I was going to stand up and inform Mr. Man to drop those keys and not put them in any further, Sweet lil ol lady in the purple shirt opens up the door just in time to see Mr. Man about to put the keys in the door!

If money could only buy the expression on her face. I would have paid BIG BUCKS to steal her glare. Yikes!

Which she then whacked Mr. Man upside his shoulder and snickered to him, "Perv!" and walked off!

And then...the whole world stood still to see Mr.Man's reaction, which was that he just shrugged it off because I think he thought she said, "Nerve."

And so, I totally wrote a blog post about it!

And they have no idea.

You just never know people....never know. ;)








9 comments:

Faith said...

Hahaha! There is good blogging material all around us =)

Mulchy Mama said...

I love this!!!

You speaka the trutha. :)

Rebecca Jo said...

Oh my gosh... that is hilarious!!! At least he didnt put the key in with her pants down.. I've been on that side with the door opening & sitting on the pot... talk about a blog post! hehe!!!

On Purpose said...

Serioulsy I am laughing...and actually have to go use the powder room myself...nope I don't have to find the keys...I am home and we just leave them wide open all the time...hehe! Girl I love you and thanks for the great laugh!

Sharon Brumfield said...

Well I guess I don't have to wonder any more if I am the only one who looks at situations and see's them as blogging material.:)
How funny!
And how good that his hearing was not up to par. When ya gotta go...ya gotta go!

And I remember the little potty dance....do you think only girls do that? Don't remember Michael doing it.

Jamie said...

What a crack up!

Cindy said...

You know, I work in a doctor's office, a pediatrics office in fact. I never thought about the number of stories I could blog about, in fact you should hear what's going on right now. Hmmm, maybe a weekend post:)

Traci said...

I'm laughing so hard I'm about to pee in my pants... need to ask for that key! But from the sound of this - maybe not! Ha!

Valarie said...

Hey girl. It's Sunday and YAY Hope Ann!!!! SO SWEET!
Love ya.
Val