Friday, January 02, 2009

Finding Him in Every Step

"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." -Psalm 145:14

I've been waiting for the right time to write this post. I hope this morning is it! I've got two girly's still snoozing away and one with her eyes affixed on some Curious George, so hopefully I'm good for about 20 minutes! This is a long one......so get comfy!

I know I have shared my heart on this blog many, many times about the decisions we are making as a family for the girl's school next year. And I feel the need to write this out....because I KNOW that there are many other's struggling with this right now.

My heart's prayer has always been that I would know they were not supposed to go to their Christian school anymore when God stopped providing but that I would always do everything we could to keep them there.

I don't know if I would ever and I mean EVER have questioned if they were in the right place or not if God's hands weren't doing something right now.

As I shared with a friend the other day that God had lead me to the scripture that says "And He shall provide for all of our needs"...........I began to question God as to whether or not Christian Education was a need or a want.

I don't want to get into that debate on this blog, but I believe the Lord has shown me personally that it's a desire.....or a want for my girls.

But as I've been praying all these verses about how God WILL give you the desires of your heart if you seek Him and am still at a holding position.....just in the nick of time, God spoke to me about this........through a little girl's faith.

A few months ago, I knew HopeAnn wanted a doll house for Christmas. I knew it was going to be very expensive and waited until practically the last moment possible to start buying stuff. But day after day all this girly would tell me was how much she wanted a doll house. And she KNEW she was going to get one!

So, The day after Thanksgiving, I set out to find a "deal" on a doll house. I searched high and low and found nothing. As I left a certain craft store the Lord told me specifically to go to another craft store. I rolled my eyes in frustration and went, "Lord, I'm tired and we are just not going to be able to do this for her this year."

But as I was stopped at a light, nearly in front of the store, I said, "Ok, I'll go and just see."

I went in and found the doll house she wanted and it was on sale.....but it was still to much. So I started to pray and ask God why He lead me there. I thought maybe someone was going to pass me on a coupon for 50% off or something like that.

I was getting no where.

So, I asked one of the store employees if he knew of another sale or a special coupon or how I could get this doll house cheaper.

Get this!

HE was going to steal the doll house and sell it to me "under the table"!!!

I laughed so hard! I was like, "Thanks.......but no thanks."

I walked out of there feeling defeated. I went home and told Kris about it all and he said, "Well, let's just try to figure this out."

He went online to that store's website and got a coupon. He then went back to the store and for some strange reason, the cashier gave him an extra 20% off! So He ended up paying WAY less that we had budgeted for this doll house. It was amazing!!

My heart was so happy for the blessing of the dollhouse price......but the furniture was crazy expensive! I mean, we would've tripled our budget just on the furniture!!

So I began to pray. I knew I had some time before Christmas and just asked God for an incredible deal!

I began to search eBay and Craisglist.....but didn't really find anything.

Then, my mom won an eBay auction for a couple pieces of furniture that was a great deal! But God......He still had more in store.

He told me to put a wanted add on Craigslist for the furniture. So, I did, not really expecting much.

A day later a woman e-mailed me and said, "I've got some stuff let me go through it and I will send you some pictures."

So a few days later she did and this was some amazing furniture. Like, EVERYTHING we needed and more!!

I e-mailed her back and asked her how much it would be. She quickly e-mailed me back and said this, "Oh I don't want anything for it, I just want it to go to a good home."

WHAT???

I INSISTED on paying her but she politely declined.

A week or so later, Kris and I went to meet her to pick up the furniture. It was a precious moment. In a busy mall, with so many people around, very impersonal.......but yet, God was there.

I shared with her the struggles that Hope had been through this year with her health and told her that this was all she asked for. I shared with her that she was an answer to my prayers and tears filled both of our eyes.

This furniture was her grandmother's.........it was very special to her. And let me just tell you, this furniture was amazing!! In perfect condition and a WHOLE doll house's worth!!

I was amazed at a perfect stranger's willingness to give to a child!

The day I will be able to tell HopeAnn about this stranger's perfect gift to her this Christmas will be a priceless day. Right now she thinks it's from Santa and that's what she should, but one day she will too know how God provided for her desire!

As I thought about this example of God's perfect provision, for the desire of my little girl........God's been dealing with me about my own desires.

Is my desire to have them in a safe and secure school where they are taught God's word every single day? Yes! Does God see and know that? Yes!

And so I wonder......Lord why are you not providing for their school anymore? I mean, it's the ONE bill every single month that is just not getting paid. (I'm just being honest) It's not about not being faithful, not tithing, not working enough, not being frugal or anything to the sorts.......we are doing everything "right". So what is it Lord?

I never thought God would ask me to put my girl's in a public school or even to homeschool. (Please don't anyone take offense to this) But I think we should never say "never".

Humbled.

That's how I've felt through this experience. Yet.....somehow I still know that God is working with no limits! God has a plan for these girls, no matter where they go to school. And unlike my plans that always have time, financial or emotional "limits"........His plans have NO LIMITS.

We still are not 100% sure of what to do. But I think that's where God wants us......always on the edge, waiting for Him.

He has a plan for all of our struggles! But are we really willing to say, "Palms up, I surrender! No matter what!"?

Psalm 147:5 "Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit."

And so as I begin this new year of 2009, I am not only seeking Him in every step......but I am finding Him! It may not be what I want or what so many other's feel is "best".....but I know that no matter what, "His understanding has no limit.".

Seeking to find Him in every step,
~Nicki

12 comments:

ValleyGirl said...

What a beautiful post, Nicki! I can totally imagine how this whole doll house saga just completely blows you away!! God just never ceases to amaze us, does He? What an incredible story.

I think He does want to keep us guessing ~ and more importantly, as a result, implicitly leaning on Him, never taking our eyes off of HIM.

I wish you a wonderful New Year Nicki, and even more evidence of God's touch in your lives!

Kelly said...

Hi Nicki...The Lord brought me to your blog this morning and of course He is faithful to show me why! I am a mom of 3 boys and we went thru a similar experience about 6 years ago. My boys were in a Christian school for about 6 years. We loved it, and I knew this is where they were supposed to be...but God....over time the payments were harder and harder to make. The Lord began unsettling our hearts, and I struggled to believe that He would be removing my kids from the shelter of a Christian school. As I began to open my heart and eyes to the Lords leading, He began to give me a peace, confirming in so many ways that He was moving my kids to public school. I knew that it was Him. It was heartwrenching at times. Friends even turned against me not believing that the Lord would be doing this. But, we knew. I'm not saying it was easy, but I knew it was the Lord. So..we obeyed the Lord! To me, it did not make sense, but my heart knew that obeying the Lord does not need to make sense. But guess what? My boys have had Christian teachers, have met Christian friends, and have grown in their faith in ways that I know would not have happened in a shelter of a Christian school. My oldest is now in a Christian University, and one is a junior in highschool, and one in 7th grade. Yes, there have been struggles, but the Lord showed me early on that there is a battle for our childrens' lives, the battle will happen whether in public or private. We and they will have to choose Him wherever we are placed. That is how our faith grows! I just wanted to encourage you that no matter where He is leading you, do not compare what others are doing. Your journey is only yours from the Lord, and He loves our children way more than we do, He has a plan for their lives! He knows what they need, and knows how to meet our needs. No man can thwart what the Lord has purposed. So...please keep listening to that still small voice, and keep trusting, even when it doesn't make wordly sense.
I will pray for you as you are making this decision. Just remember...He loves us, and works all things out for our good, as we obey and trust!
In His love,
Kelly

ThreeGirlyGirls said...

Thanks Tammy! You are so encouraging all the time!

Kelly! Thanks for stopping by AND for this comment! I would say it was a God-thing that you just happened to come on here today and were willing to share your story with me. I so appreciate you taking the time to encourage me in this decision. I know you understand how hard it is. I just wanted to thank you! I hope you'll be back! =)

Amy E. said...

Hey Nicki - I tee-totally agree with Kelly. He will be with them no matter where they are, and His children are everywhere! God has to lead each parent to make decisions regarding their children, and He doesn't lead all of us in the same direction. That being said, boy is it hard! We went through this gut-wrenching decision when little man was going to kindergarten and it just about killed me. It took so long for me to discern what God was leading us to do. We were almost in the same boat -- we could have afforded to send him to Christian school, but not the other two, so in the end God led us to a wonderful public charter school (know what I mean, Vern?). But it's amazing still how God places them around other Christian children to encourage them AND around the unchurched so they can witness to them! He's so good like that!
I know in a few years it will be so wonderful for you to look back on what He has done in this situation!!

Ginger said...

Hi Nicki,

I couldn't agree more with Kelly. God carefully orchestrates every little detail for a reason. The dollhouse is a beatiful example.

No matter where your girls go to school, surrender them to God and just know that He has a plan and a purpose for their lives.

I am reading a wonderful book right now. You're probably familiar with it.."The Power Of A Praying Parent", by Stormie Omartian. Excellent.

One of my favorite verses that always helps me put things into perspective when I know I really have no control is Phillipians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to our God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Just know that God hears you and He is good and will only do what is best for you and your girls.

Kay Martin said...

Kelly expressed my thoughts exactly. Rest in Him; all will be well.

I love the dollhouse story.

Happy New Year mighty woman of God.

Kay

Faith said...

Wow, that is so cool! God is good!! Surrender is my theme this year too. Oh I'm praying God will give me the strength to do it.

Praying for you and God's blessings on 2009!

Joyful said...

Oh Nicki what a precious story. I love how God gave Hope a dollhouse and furniture. When God provides and does immeasureably more than we can ask or imagine, His faithfulnes and provision in the past encourages and assures us that He will provide again. He is unchanging. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He will continue to guide you every step of the way.

Continuing in prayer concerning the school decision. You know my story. Praying you'll know His peace as you wait on Him.

Love & prayers,
Joy

Rebecca Jo said...

What an amazing story with the doll house. I think the lady with the furniture is even BETTER than Santa!!!

Isn't it funny how we see God working through things as simple as the doll house but yet, when it comes to big things, we tend to be more fearful - more afraid of what God is telling us? When in reality - if God is going to take care of the small things - you KNOW He's going to take care of the BIG things!!!

Sharon Brumfield said...

Love the heart here girl....and I know He loves it even more.
I love the faith story of the doll house. And the way He chose to provide makes it even more special. I pray God continues to use this in your walk and in the walk of your little one.
It was those kinds of stories told to us when we were little that built a foundation for me to be able to walk this walk today.
And like you I do not understand it all yet. If He told me just where He was going and how He was going to do it there would be not need for faith.
I am looking forward to the good work He is going to do in the life of your family as you continue to walk humbly before the Lord.
This was great girl...glad you had the time to write it. :)
God does provide.

Cindy said...

This is a beautiful story of God's faithfulness to provide for His children. It is also a wonderful testimony of faith - in praying and waiting patiently for God's answers.
I admire your openness in sharing your journey. Thank you for sharing your heart. I know God will speak to your hearts with His clear answers.
Bless you,
Cindy

Sarah Martin said...

Nicki!
Happy New Year. You are such a cool mom. I'm confused, though. What did you decide about the girly's school?

love,
sarah