I'm have a super hard time coming up with a title for today's post.
My worst suspicions for my Hopie have come true. We went to the doctors and after a whirl-wind day of appointments and all types of painful testing all led up to these words,
"You're daughter's left kidney is damaged, she needs surgery pretty quickly to correct this."
Hope has what my oldest Taylor had, Vesicoureteral reflux. However, it's a lot worse than Taylor had it. They tend to rate these types of conditions on a scale of 1-5. When they diagnosed Taylor as a baby she was a 2...Hope is a full blown 4.
Her urologist is quite concerned about her left kidney. She is scheduled to have her surgery done to correct the reflux on the 18th of August. She will be in the hospital 2-3 days, then out of school for a week and then 1/2 days of school for the next week.
We will continue to watch her kidney over time. Our prayers right now are focused on her healing completely. I know the surgery will be difficult on her little body, but I know she will recover from it.
I never knew how much this post would really mean right now. I told you I felt like He was preparing me. There are things doctors can do but ultimately the healing of her kidney is in God's hands.
And, God's hands have been all over this.
The urologist we use is a super busy guy, it normally takes weeks to get into see him...there just "happened" to be a cancellation for our appointment today.
There also just "happened" to be a spot available for a soon surgery, although it's a few weeks away, we waited months after this happened to Taylor.
This morning when I left for her appointment, I actually went to the wrong office, that was 30 minutes away from the other office. I was really upset mainly because it was an error on their part and gas is just CRAZY these days!!
But, I just "happened" to sit in a waiting room with another mom there with a child with kidney damage from reflux. BEFORE I knew anything I was about to hear from the doctor about Hope.
Had I been "on time" I wouldn't have met this woman. She has to travel 2 hours to see this doctor. I was amazed and humbled at my being upset about a little 30 minute drive. I take way to much for granted, like doctors within 30 minutes!
Am I worried? Yes.
Have there been many hidden tears from my Hopie in my eyes today? Yes.
Have I thought I'm a bad mom because I didn't get her into the dr.'s sooner? Yes.
And this is a BIG BUT,
I really know that God is near. And my hands are lifted in surrender to Him. And in these hands are my little sweet girl. My Hopie. His "Hope".
This is a picture of Hope at my brother's wedding a few months ago. I wish the big tear she had falling down her face at this moment showed up on this picture. She was watching my brother's wife and her dad dance to "Hopie's song", Steven Curtis Chapman's "Cinderella". Every time this girly hears that song on the radio, she is in tears....with her momma just a moment behind her! It was a precious memory embedded in my heart....forever.