Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Weakness

I had me some yesterday. Weakness.

But nothing that a little drive with the windows down, a Faith Hill song blasting out the speakers singing about dreaming about the washing machine, two make ya cry movies and a good 5,000 calorie Chick Fila Milk shake couldn't cure!

It was "one of those days" I took deeps sighs and thought as the chirpy overly annoying drive through man asked me, "Would you like whip cream and a cherry on top?"........oh if only a whip cream and cherry on top would always make it "all better". "Yes, load it up!" And just like that......I blew my points for the next TWO WEEKS. But it was worth it!

Sleep didn't find me very well last night. I tossed and turned and had some crazy dreams...must've been that milk shake.

It was a day full of weakness yesterday. Why? I'm not sure? There wasn't anything specifically tragic that happened in my life. I was disappointed about a few things but nothing that sends a girl into a hormonal needing chocolate don't look at me that way dizzy spell like that! (And NO, it's not PMS.)

But this morning, I've realized what it is. I'm under some MAJOR attack right now. There are big things spiritually in my life coming up. And I've been allowing weakness to slip in day by day, and yesterday it arrived full and ready to set up camp for the next few months.

And I'd better find the way to give "her" (weakness) the boot, or else the enemy is going to have a double stomp winning tournament in my life.

I came across this verse this morning,

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." -1 Corinthians 1:25

Well, I immediately thought.......WHAT??? First of all God is not foolish or weak! So I went to my foot-notes.....nothing, went to my commentary......nothing....NO NOTES on this verse. What is up with that?

God said, "This is what's up with this....figure it out yourself."

Lord.......my brain is in a thousand directions, can't you help a girl out???

"No."

Thanks God.

Ok, ya'll......so let's break this verse down, part by part.

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom......"

What I get from that is, that no matter HOW SMART I think anyone is, or how wise I think anyone is.......NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is wiser than my God alone. Even in the silliest thing He would ever say, (can you imagine God being silly?? I love to!) it would still be wiser than ANYTHING anyone has ever said! Wow!

Like when your momma would foolishly tell you oh so wisely, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."........and you would roll your eyes at her "foolish wisdom"....can you IMAGINE what God's foolish wisdom must sound like??? I don't even think I can wrap my mind around it!

"And the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."

As I thought about this next part, I thought about the strongest man I know.....like Hulk Hogan or someone like that. I mean, big buff strong guys. I know Kris would love for me to put him in that category so I will........Yes, KRIS, my big strong can-do-it-everything man. =) When I think about the hardest thing he's ever done, hmmm.....I'm not sure what it would be......... Maybe lifting our piano????!!! That was pretty tough! All. By. Himself. He was so strong! But even the strongest man alive, the most awesome super hero, or I mean, super husband......God's WEAKNESS is still stronger than Kris's BEST BIGGEST strength.

That's a powerful thought.

I know this post is turning into a book, and I'm quite sure I've lost 90% of ya'll, but that's ok. This one isn't about the "numbers".

This strength of God it cannot be measured by any "human" standard. I cannot know and understand the wisdom and strength of God. But what a captivating thought....to know that He is so much bigger, wiser and more perfect than ANYTHING I've experienced on this earth. Oh, AND He's on......my.......my side. Wow.

It's turning my weakness into His strength. Claiming His power, His love, His mercy in my life......day by day. Not ever getting confident in myself, but confident in Him and what He can do. Because there is some powerful amazing stuff in THAT!!!

Lord,

Thank you for making me work this one out on my own. So many times I just like to look for "other's" thoughts and wisdom on your words, but today you told me to work this one out myself. Perhaps it was because of my own personal weakness that I had yesterday. Strength isn't something you hand to us, we have to find it in you. And my little crazy God-loving mind cannot even imagine how strong and wise you are. But....I am in awe. I am totally in awe of you.

Thank you for being on my side. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being my Super Hero. Thank you for Hopie who plays this song endlessly on her cd player!!!



Walking in His strength today, not mine.
~Nicki

6 comments:

Monica said...

Hey Nikki!
You found me....I love your blog as well. Girl, the weakness thing hits us all,well at least for me it does, but I have found myself getting stronger and stronger just by making a choice. Have you ever heard the phrase.."it's a choice to rejoice"? This hit me pretty hard when I first heard it...I thought what? You mean I have a choice to the way I act and react to everything?(without using my feelings) I have to say I have come along way, baby!
Nikki, I can tell by reading your blog that God has HUGE plans for you and of course the battle is on! I know that God will undoubtingly give you the strength and the courage to do everything He has for you to do! You are Amazing!

Sharon Brumfield said...

Well I am back and it is good to see you working it out....still.
Don't ever stop.
I have been in a long season of weakness...partially because of physical circumstances and some just because I got tired of fighting.
I pray things are on the upswing again.
The best thing about this time...if there is something to take away..is the fact that He loves me even when I am not doing it perfectly. And that reminds me....I can't do anything perfectly.
But I miss Him...the sweet presence and so I call and He will come.
Because all those who seek...they will be rewarded with Him.
Without Him I am a limp bag of skin without any bones.
But with Him in me..working through me....POWER!
Keep your eyes on the prize!
That we may KNOW HIM~

Alisun said...

Nicki, Hello and I have to say that I deal with the same issues. I think I have found you because we are walking similar paths right now, as you blog about your feelings and I hear myself in your words. We have come full circle and bought property instead of a house that I know in my heart God showed us to have, as we walked through the process of obtaining it he showed us something better his true plan for our family. We had to see the first house to believe we could achieve that before God could get us to see his true plan for our family, have patience stand and know that he is God! Do not the devil invade your thoughts, yes I know better written than doing it is hard girl but in the end it will seem soooo good.

LeAnne said...

This is so great! I really like it!

AND one of those Chick-Fil-A milkshakes sound WONDERFUL right now. 5,000 calories and all.

ValleyGirl said...

You're right, we do all have days like that. Overcoming, starting anew with stronger resolve the next morning... that's the key.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Cor. 12.9)

Speaking Thru Me Ministries said...

i have the weak days too - too often!!! start again today my friend!! love, Leigh