Every day we have to make them. Some are simple. Some are complicated. But ultimately we have a choice for everything in this life that we do.
I love to wake up on Monday's and think of the whole week as just a big blank slate. Even if I have stuff going on, I still like to think of it as a fresh start. A week to somehow change directions, do something different.....make better choices.
You know, becoming a mom at 20 years old, it hasn't always been so easy. I had to figure out a lot of things fast. I had to make choices sometimes that I didn't have a clue as to what I was doing. I had to change my way of thinking from "me me me" to "you you you". Not something most 20 year olds do "naturally". After all, having my hair perfectly high lighted every six weeks, going to the gym and keeping up with the latest styles seemed to outweigh having to buy diapers, wipes, clothes and formula! But each day, it was a choice. Would I choose to love her, or would I choose to love myself? But eventually......I found myself lost in my choice.
I can remember sitting in that cold, sterile, typical doctor's office style room, and listening to a man who was wise beyond his years present two options to our young minds. All we wanted was the best for our girl, and we wanted the least amount of "after" problems. We made a choice, and thought it was the best. It perhaps was not. Taylor's recovery time was un-predictable, un-planned and definitely un-expected. It was a lot to handle a 22month old bleeding constantly, a big pregnant belly on myself with a baby to pop about just about any day.........it was a lot to handle for something that was our "choice". No Taylor's problems wouldn't have just gone away, but the treatment options......they were ultimately ours. And I felt lost.
As time passed, I quickly discovered that making choices for our babies, it's not so easy. Do I take her to the dr.'s or let this one slide? Do I let her cry it out or console her endlessly? Do I take a chance leaving the house during nap time? Do I spank? Do I time-out? Do I entertain or let her entertain herself?
And I truly thought that after the "two's" we'd be over this! There wouldn't be to many more choices to make. Or at least not the "big" ones. But wow, was I wrong.
You'd think that the fact that I've had three girls in five years would help make things easier........However, The choices each day still seem endless and I still fear that with each step we might be making a mistake. Fear. Failures. Frustration.
I still feel lost. I still feel alone. I still feel like every day I'm the verge of making one of those "life-changing" choices.
But my heavenly Father. Oh yes BUT MY God. He has shown me incredible things this weekend. He has shown me what it means to find joy in choices! And I assure you that our relationships with God are a "choice"! We can choose to hold onto His promises and let go of ours. Or we can stay in that "zone" for a choice and find fear, failures and frustrations.
I don't' know about you, but I've walked in that zone one to many times and I don't want to go back there. I want to find Hope, Peace and Love in every day life, not just the "big" stuff. Letting go of what other's think and leaning upon His words and His promises, that's a BIG choice!!
So for this Monday, for this long day ahead of me......I choose Him. I choose joy. I choose peace. I choose Hope.
Walking by faith and never by sight,
ps- Just a little frugal Monday shout out to the Lord:
Saturday night I was SOOO tired. We had been to t-ball games and birthday parties and I was just flat out tired. I knew I hadn't been following the grocery game and I felt really guilty. But the Holy Spirit convicted me to sit down for two hours and organize coupons and go the grocery store. I SO didn't want to go. I even got mad at Kris because he wouldn't go for me! Why do I always have to be the one who does EVERYTHING around here...I know, bad attitude!
So I gathered up my list and coupons and headed to the store. And boy oh boy was I glad I did........It turns out they were doing triple coupons but only Thursday, Friday and Saturday!! So had I waited one more day I would've missed out on those savings!! I'm so glad the Spirit convicted me!!
Well, I ended up saving..........ready? Ok? Are you sure??? This was a topper for me!!
I paid $130 for TWO weeks worth of grocery's for a family of five. That's HUGE ya'll!! I mean, I'll still have to go back and get a few things next week, but the biggie stuff is bought!
God is good! And if you are doing the grocery game you are MISSING OUT!!! Visit the website today and sign up (ps-please leave my e-mail as the referral! firstname.lastname@example.org)
And if you're playing along leave me a comment and tell me your savings this week!!
Monday, May 19, 2008