Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I need some straightening

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

We had a GREAT weekend and I will post a post later with pictures all about it! But for now, I just want to work this one out..........

My heart needs to be straightened out! I'm a mess spiritually. I've never felt so just "God I don't know what you are doing". I've never felt so distant from His voice. And I'm not sure what's causing this. I'm walking with him each day. I'm talking with him each day. I'm praising him each day........what is it???

We got home yesterday and there was a man across the street looking at that house that is for sale. I waved at him because he was the one who had looked at ours a few days before. He waved back and walked over with his brothers. (These are some Greek New Jersey men.....not the friendliest type) So I cautiously walked towards them going "oh boy......what's up now". I had a feeling it was coming......you know the LOW BALL offer???? Oh yes, and come it did, but insult me it did even more!

I walked away from that conversation mad. Knowing that this was a mistake we had made thinking that we could ever buy this house, fix it up and sell it. And here was the proof.......an insulting offer! The really sad thing is....I actually had to think about the offer for a moment......and then slap myself back into reality! He saw that I was quite upset and tried to cover himself by saying in that very Greek-New Jersey type accent, "But, your house is very clean......"........"Gee........thanks." was my thought.

Part of me wanted to pull that sign out of our yard and forget this whole idea. But then I remembered this "contract" we have so we have to continue to try and sell it or we lose our earnest money. So.......three more weeks of this it is!

But, my attitude has got to change. My trust has got to be a %100 in Christ. I have to know and BELIEVE that whatever happens is all because of his bigger plan. Even though MY plan looks really good on paper with this new house, I have to know that it may not be HIS idea. And it's so hard to pray........."Lord, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE sell this house........but (sighs) ONLY, if it's your will."

And then I wonder....."Lord, are you preparing me for something bigger than this? Something that I will have to trust you like never before? Is that why we are walking down this little trivial road?" And that's when He lead me to this verse this morning........."Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and lean NOT ON YOUR OWN understanding."

So I will. I will turn these thoughts around. I will trust like never before. Trust, Trust, Trust.

Well, off I go.........to straighten out this spinning mind in some serious prayer! I pray you have a blessed day! And I'd love to hear how you've trusted God like never before about something (big or small) and what happened!

Check back later for pictures of our trip to Asheville this weekend!

Have a blessed day!


Alisun said...

OH how hard and yes I have felt this emptiness and quite that comes when the Lord makes us wait. He also lets us grow in the process. Lord give Nicki strength as she stands and waits for your timing father.

Nicki said...

Thank you Alisun! You are so sweet!

nanatrish said...

I am so happy that you guys had such a wonderful weekend. Asheville is wonderful.It's so pretty up there.I'll bet the girls loved seeing all the mountains. I am praying for you. Psalms 119:76 helps me. I pray you will be comforted. His love and grace are sufficient. When we are going through things that hurt it's hard to understand, but He wants the best for you. You asked about things we have prayed about. I wanted to get my degree. I didn't start college until 6 yrs after high school.I kept running into walls with employment and then I changed my major 3 times. I kept thinking the Lord wanted me to do different things. Well, long story short..it took me 25 years to graduate from college. The next week I was laid off from my job that I'd had 10 years and thought I'd retire from. I was so crushed, but the next day I had a job offer that changed my life. It took so long and I put so much money into my education, but I thank the Lord that I did hang in and He took me through. God knows the next chapter in our life and I pray you will feel His arms around you today. love ya, Trish

Nicki said...

Trish! What a great story! Thanks for shraring!

Sharon Brumfield said...

I want you to know that we had the same thing happen about a week ago. Spent the money to have our property appraised -a guy really wanted it bad--and when we gave him what it was appraised for he insulted us. He offered us 35,000 less than the appraisal. I got a little mad too.
But I will remember that God is in charge of this.He will bring the buyer and He will set the price. And if this property is to be our help....God will work it out.
So....do not let anyone take your blessing away. THey do not have that power. Don't give it to them.
And you remember this...God is in charge. It does not matter what they say...He has the last word.
I have been praying for awhile now that God would bring the buyer to us. He knows who it is already...so I will let Him guide them to us.
Keep the faith!

Room for Grace said...

Me again, I just found your blog the other day, so I'm reading some back posts. This situation happened to us 4 years ago. I have pages and pages of journal entries to the Lord bemoaning the fact that he hadn't sold our old house, and we were about to "lose" the new house, which we did.

I felt SO let down.
Then our house sold a few weeks later, and we had to find a new one, fast. What in the world was the Lord doing? We had the perfect house and had to let it go, only to sell our old one a few weeks later.

Well, we ended up buying a house a few streets over from the original new house. The only difference was the neighbors. The Lord blessed us with 2 sets of neighbors that became best friends. One of them went to our church but we didn't know them, so we started a small group together.
We wouldn't have ever gotten so close to them if we'd lived in the first house - so worth it.

I know it's hard. Let us know what happens with your house.

God is up to something.