Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Father, Forgive me for I am not the perfect Momma

Ya'll...........(DEEP SIGHS) I have just experienced my first of many to come of heartaches with one of my girls. And to my amazement, it is from my Taylor. She has had a rough week of obedience and has gottten herself into some trouble. I can tolerate the fighting, whining, complaining, groans and crys..........but a lie from the mouth and deciet in the heart.....THAT is not ok with this momma.

Taylor has had two incidents at school this week (my word and it's only wed) that have just set Kris and I beside of ourselves. I won't go into the details but you all make take deeps sighs of relief and say, "PHEW.....her kids aren't perfect either." Oh no....... THEY ARE NOT and that was made picture perfect clear to me the last two days!!!

The really bad thing is, the two things that she has done have been out of fear of ME. She has lied because she thought the lying would be better than the truth. Haven't we all been there.......... It's a hard lesson to learn, and not one that I enjoy teaching!! But, as I explained to Kris, if we don't stay on top of this, it will only get worse. She has to know the seriousness of this. I always want my girls to be able to come to me and tell me the truth and not live in fear of the truth. But it's a hard line to draw wouldn't you agree? They know there are consequences for their actions, and they don't want those consequences so what are you to do? Make the consequences worse for the lies?? That's the only thing I could come up with. So if you have something better.......PLEASE tell me.

Taylor has been through a lot the past few weeks, NOT that I'm excusing her behavior.........our home has been quite an uproar of decisions and you know........when the momma and daddy are stressed out, it effects those youngins. And I think Taylor thinks that if she is perfect, all is well......I hate that.

She has seen and heard the stress in our home and although we have really tried to keep it calm one day, I just sat down and just started crying, I prayed, "God you've got to make these decisions clear because I can't take this anymore!!!" My Kennyboo who is TWO, comes up to me and pats me on my head, "IZ Otay Mommy, Iz Otay." "WOVE Ewe Mommy, WOVE Ewe." And then some sweet kisses on my cheek. (sighs........and then tears.) The sweetest moments are those.......when the two year old makes it all better!! =) Later that night, I saw in my Taylor's journal........"Dear God, please make my mommy understand you." Wise words from a seven year old!!

So, this week has been rough, Lord help me it's only Wednesday morning!! But, decisions have been made.........or so we think. And we are seriously walking by faith right now. Nothing else makes a lot of sense. I think about this verse in Psalm 21:4, "May he give you the desire of your heart, and make all your plans succeed." That's all I can do right trust that we are making the right decisions...........and then that the Lord is going to honor it.

The Lord brought laughter to my soul from our Hope yesterday......I told ya'll, she is super special. She is five and when she just doesn't quite all make sense. Her mind is moving like 500 miles per hour and her mouth only about 25 mph!! She was telling me about her "friend" at school.........well apparently THEY BROKE UP. (Yvette, you can laugh about this one with me!!) She says, "Momma, I just had ENOUGH. That boy took my ballon and I said, "THAT'S IT, BROKE UP!" That's what she said, "broke up"!! So, I asked her if she would be getting him a Valentine and she said........."Oh no.......we are BROKE UP!!" I was DYING of laughter!! Then, this morning, she comes up to me with a piece of paper that LOOKS like a heart. "This is for HIM. IF he's nice to me." That poor boy..........the wrath of Hope!!! I'm telling ya' the midst of anything, Hope can make me smile!! She is seriously making all her Valentines at this moment.........out of newspaper, and scotch tape. Because this is a serious project...... Only the best supplies at our house!!

Well, I'm off to hit the treadmill after feeding the Kennyboo her breakfast, she is in her room singing about something........wondering I'm quite sure, "Is mommy EVER coming to get me out of here?" Trusting God for prayers unanswered and enjoying moments that He brings smiles to our faces. That's where the joy of Jesus is the midst of uncertainty, He smiles through three girly's to me. He says, "Will you find joy, even through this?" And the answer is, "YES Lord, I will find the joy, in the midst of a trial!!!"

Ok, off I go! I have a blessed day!!

ps- ya'll I don't know what is up with my blogger but my spell check is not working AGAIN. I think God is just humbling me.......because ya'll THOUGHT I was a good speller, but obviously, I AM NOT. FORGIVE me.........again. =)


Valarie said...

Girl, something's in the air! I've been dealing with lying as well. In the past I have punished the lie more than the "crime" and it seems to work - but it's been a while since this came up so I guess it's time for a "refresher"! haha

There's a very well-respected family in our church whose children are all grown but all still sit together EVERY Sunday that taught a parenting class once and this was their take on lying. It is UNACCEPTABLE behavior in our family so if you choose that behavior - you're choosing not to participate in our family. They took the offender and made them live in their basement apartment - alone - for one week. Now, obviously this was an older child, but still the child had to eat meals in that room alone. No tv down there. No phone down there. Had to knock on the door if they needed something. HARSH, I know, but that child NEVER lied again. After their sentence was served mom and dad sat down and they talked about what the punishment would've been for the original "crime" and wouldn't it have been easier just to tell the truth, suffer the consequences and move on instead of being "locked" in the basement for a week.

Girl, lying is the enemy's greatest tool. We have to make our kids understand that regardless of how much it hurts them - and us! I love you girl! Be encouraged and let's all go buy a house with a furnished basement!! hahaha

Have a good one.

Nicki said...

Well, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!! That does seem a bit harsh what they did and I think I know who you're talking about and they are some good parents!!!, but I guess it worked!! So the lie is more than the crime.......I get it. It's got to be that way!!! And you are so right, the enemy is working through lies BIG TIME.

freetofly said...

Nicki, for me it was a combination of 2 things, a lie is worse than the crime. And 2ndly, learning to understand why they were scared to tell the truth. Truth was, I was not one for being cool, calm and collected, when my oldest was little. He was 9 by the time I got saved and, it took quite some time before I improved in this area. And it did damage. Not the same with my second. He was months old when I got saved, so...different mother and father for him! Sad but true!

Hope this helps! None of us are perfect, but you are clearly a good and loving mother!

Take care!

Speaking Thru Me Ministries said...

Hey girl - we are not above lieing at our house! Let's hang in there! I am with you!

love, Leigh

Sharon said...

Boy have we dealt with this.
Julia and I have been through this. She has a tender heart and I want it to stay that way.
A few weeks ago we went through the whole it is worse to lie about something you have done wrong in order to protect your butt. It goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. Nothing new. But she knows that if she lies she is breaking a trust. That hurts hearts.It breaks relationship between her and me more than if she does something wrong.
So yes, the punishment is worse if she lies about something. And then it takes time to rebuild a relationship even thought she has been forgiven.
Hand in there girl!
It will be worth it in the end--I am counting on that. :)