Monday, December 03, 2007

A time for it all

These days......they are the sweetest yet hardest days of my life. I adore all three of these girly's but there are many, many days where I just begin to feel overwhelmed by it all. And then I remember wise words "This to shall pass" somethings quicker than others (uhem....terrible two's). But as I reflect on my walk with the Lord through today, God is speaking to me about getting real. Getting down into it. You see, I feel as though there are just way to many fakeo's out there in the Christian walk. It's time for me to start taking off the mask that I sometimes pretend to wear.......although, I will say, I do just "lay it all out" most days.

I heard this today......and it changed my heart FOREVER:

"The church, we are supposed to be the hospital for the soul, but when the patients come to the hospital they are so intimidated by the physicians that no healing can begin because no diagnosis can be made because the truth cannot be revealed!!!"

We as the body of Christ are made up of so many different things. ALL wonderful gifts and talents. But we really gotta stop this "Well, I'm better than that......." stuff. We ALL got our "stuff".....we all got our "issues". I WILL NOT be nominated for "mother of the year" nor "wife of the year" nor "housekeeper of the year"!! And you know what??? It's OK. I made about twenty mistakes today before 10 am and that's just how it was today. We gotta bring it down a level......we've got to keep it real.

I guess what I hate is how some people might "perceive" things one way and then they find out the truth.......and they run! We who are called to fulfilling God's call, we are gonna struggle and I love it......oh I love it whenever I hear someone just tells the truth! Yes, we can make it funny or lighthearted, but the truth needs to be made known. Christians are not perfect people.........nor will we ever be, so let's stop pretending!!! Let's stop back stabbing each other, doing mean things to each other and start looking at our own lives and see what's up! I think about a situation I know about and how BLIND this person is being......it amazes me, truly amazes me.

So yes, there is a time to be happy, rejoice and be "overly" friendly........but we gotta keep it real. We gotta be who we are at church at home. (and I am SOOOOOO speaking to myself) So does that mean if we are in an awful mood on Sunday morning we go to church in an awful mood???? I don't know........=) Hopefully the presence of God's house can wash that all away but sometimes it may not. And you know what??? It's ok. It's ok to cry........to scream (just not at anyone)......to talk......to just BE REAL.

We only get ONE shot at this........ONE. When we die.....that's it, there's no coming back, there's no saying "I'm sorry"......there's no more chances to make it right. Oh that hurts my soul as I think of those three sweet girls asleep right now.....and how many times their momma makes mistakes. Oh how I wish I could change SO much. But I can't. I can only take from my mistakes and turn them into "I was so wrong, I'm sorry."

Let's be the "healers" of the hospital.......not the people carrying the bodies to the morgue. Let's make a difference every day, and when we mess up......let's admit it and say we're so sorry but let's change too. Let's love when we don't want to........and suck up our pride when we know we've crushed another spirit. Let's not just "ice the cake over".......let's bake a whole new one.

Dearest God,

Oh I am so sorry for all my many mistakes today. Lord, you have spoken to me and you are making this whole thing very real to me. God I see you for who you are and you met me right where I was at today. Father, my heart just hurts for the body of Christ......there are so many, hurting hearts.......mine included. Father I lay it all down at your feet, I don't use this as a venting session or anything like that. But just as a general burden for so many women at my church. Father, you've got to keep us real, you've got to keep us working towards the same goal, you've got to hold it all together when it feels as though it's falling apart.

Lord as I think of a very special friend right now...waiting for your perfect will in her life I pray that you would answer, I'm anxious for her and I'm nervous for her. Father, please speak, please move, please bring me to my knees more and more for her.

Lord, break this prideful heart thing Father..........Lord as soon as I say I don't have a pride issue, surely one will arise, but I'm very sensitive to those around me and I never mean harm on anyone. But I know I too have failed at pride and I'm sorry.

Father, raise me up as I fall asleep resting in your promises to me. Although it is hard to "see" all that you are doing, I know you are at work. I'm very, very anxious to get a few things "over with" though this whole process you are leading me through. Lord, make my home right in all areas though. I know if I can't get this right......it's not ever going to be. Keep my mouth shut and keep my knees where they belong......before you. Fill my heart with Love, Joy, Peace, PATIENCE, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness and oh my oh my........self control. (I think there's a reason that one is last.......ha ha.)

Lord, always walking by Faith and never by sight, trusting in YOU all the way,
~Nicki

6 comments:

Sharon said...

We are not perfect but we are to be filled with power.
They come to the "hopital" but there is no power to heal them because we have gotten in the way?
That our hearts and lives may become one with His.
That we will have been healed so that without a doubt we can send them to the healer.
I've got nothing--but I can take them to EVERYTHING.

Stacie said...

Nicki,
That was a very powerful post, I read all the time, but don't usualy comment, as the mother of 4 boys I can identify with a great deal of what you had to say, you are in my prayers.

ValleyGirl said...

Amen. I like that quote about the hospital and what Sharon said in her comment. We've gotten in the way of The Healer; but if we can just step aside, others may actually see Him, come to Him, and be healed. Very thought-provoking.

Valarie said...

PREACH IT GIRL! The best thing we can do Nicki is pray for us all to have a heart for Jesus and to see each other as He sees us. I love you girl and I'm sorry we don't get to spend more face to face time together but know that you're in my prayers!
V

Neva said...

I love your heart!

Peace
Neva

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