Awesome, Awesome.....Lord

Today was the first day of my new job and I have to say it went off well!! I actually ended up putting Kennyboo in our church's Mother's Morning Out Program and Kennedy did GREAT at school, she's very tired and already in the bed asleep but she did great! It was totally a "God thing" that they had a spot JUST for her!!! I LOVED my job, oh but it's gonna be hard being around those itty bitty babies twice a week!!! It brings back SO many memories, memories that have faded away to quickly! It seems like just yesterday we were on our way to have our third baby girl at the hospital......wow has time flown away!

I'll have you know that the "girly" I told you about in my previous post about my interview.....she sure was there today for orientation.......... and she sure did disappear AFTER THE DRUG TEST!!! OH YES SHE DID. I've never seen anything like it! Now they do these drug tests right on the spot you get the results.......apparently she had an "urgent phone call" and so she was gone.......and the guy (my boss) was like, "I just don't get it.....why did she just disappear like that?" OH MY BURNING soul WANTED to say, "Well hmmmmm maybe the DUI was a clue??" But I kept my BIG MOUTH SHUT!!! =)

But the other girl that was there was so sweet and so awesome! So, I'm very excited and I can't wait to get through this orientation stuff.....you know they want you to be all "safe" and stuff with BABIES. =) heee!! I know God is blessing it, and I'm going to have to trust him through this b/c a good bit of my check will be commissioned based......and I'm ok with that. I think the Lord continually shows me that I still need to depend on him a great deal and not get all cozy.

I'm also getting ready for our BIG trip to Arizona!! The girls are so excited and so am I, and I think Kris is to......you know he's not the easiest person to tell if he's excited about something! =) We leave one week from tomorrow, so it's getting close.....Kennedy on an airplane.........hmmm.....you might want to cancel your flight if you feel as though we may come across you!! =) And if by chance we fly over your state and you hear a faint, faint SSSSSSSCRRRRRRRREAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMS from over your head, say a prayer for me.

Ya'll..........God is speaking to me, so much. I've been having these incredible prayer times and I'm really trying to see where He's leading.........just today, I had another incident with this not real stuff........and I guess I just don't understand.......how much? How much are we willing to let it cost us to be the best, be better and be "outstanding" and then rub it in other's faces? I really think there's a difference in being "exceptional" and being "ridiculous". I guess since God has stripped it all away from me.......taken every possession away at some time in my life, that I just don't view all of it the same way anymore. To what cost? Our health? Our family? Our children? Our weight? Our retirement?........and let's not even begin to touch on the REAL things God wants us investing in! Watching people fall into destruction..........oh it's just not a fun place to be.

But what can we do? How far to we push our friendships and put our relationships on the line to tell it like it is? Oh Lord.......I really don't want to go there in some relationships I'm in right now. Because I'm quite sure I know what will happen......it will be taken the wrong way, made out to be "jealous" or "hateful" or oh ya, let's hear it "JUDGEMENTAL". Kris, my hubby, says, "You just gotta let people see it for themselves." And maybe he's right........but I just hate watching people fall the way I have.........it's so not fun. But, I have to tell you something.......I've really noticed something about my life......

The times where I have fallen astray, fallen FLAT on my face.......those were the times where I was least accountable to ANYONE. For various reasons, well no, God reasons......the Lord seemed to always take the people I was closest to out of my life during a test........this has been a huge wake up call for me! Maybe those people just couldn't stand to be around me as they watched me fall or maybe it was just God removing them so that I could truly be tested by HIM alone.........I don't know, BUT I do know I have GOT to be surrounded by so many people that I can't lose sight of it all. People constantly reminding me what I'm working towards........I WANT people to tell me if I'm doing something SO OBVIOUSLY wrong. I want to turn from my old mistakes and I want to make things right daily in my life.

I want to be found faithful through Christ, in everything I do........when I walked in and saw that girl from the interview there today.....I said, "Lord, it's a greater purpose, one that I cannot understand or even know about right now." And obviously from how things turned out......His spirit was speaking to me very clearly. It's very obvious that my boss most likely isn't a Christian.......and I don't know about the girl I was with either. You know how you pick up on clues with the way people talk? So once again I see...........it's not about me or what I want or anything like that. There's always something bigger.

This time of year, it's so easy to be a "Martha" in this season......busy, busy, busy.......but I know where I find the most peace and joy and it is right there in being a "Mary" sitting and soaking up the face and glory of my Lord, Jesus. I cringe at thinking all that there is to be done in the next few weeks.........the programs, the parties, the shopping, the spending, the going here and there.........it just gets so easy to get caught up in it all and turn on our FAKEO smiles. So PLEASE, let's stop with this.... "WE WILL BE THE BEST AT ALL COSTS" and start "Obeying HIM at any and every cost." It's not the easy road..........but it's sure to end up in the sweetest spot.....victory.

Psalm 62:7-8 "My salvation and my honor depend on God, he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times O NICKI pour out your heart to him for God is your refuge."

AMEN