Tuesday, November 27, 2007

When life gives you bummers

Yesterday was a really hard day for me. And I'm not coming on here and being like WHOA IS ME, it was just a bad day. It started off with a couple of responses back from the mass e-mails I had sent out. I was SOOOOOOO excited, thinking the Lord was confirming what I had been feeling. Well, none of the times and dates were going to work out. And I probably shouldn't be writing this on here since I include my blog in all my letters. Although Leigh told me to not get my hopes up since most of the churches already have their whole year booked up. But, just the fact that I got some responses was HUGE for me!!!

So, I get all purdy up to go on my interview which I was very excited about. It was at the hospital taking the newborn pictures. How fun would that be??!!! I get there and there is this 18 year old girl in the waiting room as well. She starts talking her head off to me, like WAY OVER board, but I always keep in the back of my mind that there is always a reason why I run into people. So the guy comes and he says to me, "Are you here for an interview?" I said, "Yes." he says in a rude voice, "come on then". No handshake, no introduction......I got a little sick to my stomach to see how this was going to go. Well, turns out he's going to interview us BOTH at the SAME TIME. I have NEVER.....oh my, so we sit down, and this girl pulls out the flirt card, which he was just adoring.

He sets my application on the table and puts her's in front of him and basically to be honest I sat there the whole time and didn't say a word, because I felt like I wasn't there. So this girl says, "Um...well, I just wanted to let you know that when you do my background check there's going to be a DUI that shows up.....but that's like not serious or anything." I was like WHAT??? And THEN, to top it off the guy says, "Oh ya.....that's not that bad, I once had this girl in here that had like possession of weapons and threats on her record, THAT'S serious." ..........ya'll....I just about got up and walked out of that room. I was APPALLED. So the interview is done and I'm running for the door and this girl comes following me out.

She starts to walk with me and she says, "So you live near Hickory Grove Baptist Church?" I was like....."yes." she continues to say, "Well, my boyfriend and I we like really want to start going to church and he says that's a great church." I was like "LORD, are you serious??? I just go through the most uncomfortable 20 minutes of wasted time ever and now I gotta witness to this girl???" The Lord NEVER ceases to amaze me!! So, we talked for a few more minutes and said our good-byes and fake "good lucks".

The Lord continues to remind me......even in the most humorous ways, that I am just not supposed to be working outside of our home right now. I don't know why I continue to pursue things.....I guess I think if I don't, then I'd never know. And maybe just maybe I had to go through all of that humiliation just to invite this girl to church. And if so.....then it was worth it. A saved soul to me is sweeter than any job, or anything in life.

As I got into my car though, I will be honest that a few tears were shed......as I was driving I felt the Lord say this to me, "Nicki for what I have called you to, you'd better get ready for more disappointments and let-downs, this was nothing." I was like "GREAT, can't wait Lord!!!" =) But, I put on my oh so favorite song when I'm bummed out, "You raise me up", and I started to feel better. Then when I got home........the Lord reminded me of his promise to me through a very sweet friend's e-mail, God used her in a BIG BIG way to speak right at my heart. But here's the cool thing about this e-mail.......my friend had actually sent it the other night through the feedblitz thing but for some reason I didn't get it. Well, she re-sent it as I was on my way home from my interview, THAT WAS GOD!!!

But I did have some good news at weigh-in last night, I lost another 2.4!! So that makes a grand total (THIS time around) of 6.4!! I've actually lost more than that but that's just since I've joined weight watchers for real. So I guess that's all that counts right now!!

So today I awake still a little disappointed from the day I had yesterday....but resting in His promises. I know God's going to bring all that I need when I need it. I'm just so anxious to get started and the Lord knows that my excitement is all about Him.....it's not about me. So I lay it all down, and I wait in expectation, knowing that He is my God and He loves me and He is faithful.

I think the girl's and I are going to do some Chrismas shopping......on a budget OF COURSE today. Although, I like to point, click and pay but, I know there are some good deals out there, plus I think I just need to spend some good fun time with my girl's. They always make me smile.....Kennedy has started this new thing, "I wove it!" (I love it) She says it about all the cool things! She also has learned "Hismas" (Christmas) Every time she sees any kind of tree, light, santa or baby Jesus, she says, "Hismas"! It's just to cute!!

Ok, well gotta go, have a blessed day!!


ValleyGirl said...

I'm so amazed at the attitude you're adopting; seeing every situation as an opportunity for God rather than just a circumstance. You handled the joke of an interview so much better than I would have and the seed-planting afterwards, yeah, I'm pretty sure that wouldn't have happened -- mostly because I'd have already left before the 'interview' was over.

I hope you have a wonderfully blessed day with your girls and hope you find some great deals, too!! (I really need to get off my butt and start some Christmas shopping too)

Lisa said...

Nikki......it's all in his time...girl.

Thinking of you,

Amy E. said...

Hey sweet girl --
I'm posting a comment just for you! :)
Though not at the time, those things are always so funny whenever you look back at them. And sometimes it's almost easier when those things happen b/c it's like God's giving you a clear "no" instead of you having to try to discern His will. And I am so happy He gave you the opportunity to talk to her about church!
I am praying for you and the exciting direction God is moving you in and I totally support you.
Hope you had fun shopping and I'll see you tomorrow night at our fun little W-Zone game night!!! :)

Nicki said...

Hey Amy!! Thanks for leaving me a commnet! I feel SO special!! =) lol!! See ya tomorrow!

Leigh Gray said...

HE will raise you up my friend - little by little. just enough to keep you in line with HIm and reaching for Him!!

love it so!!!!!!! your perspective is so great. please feel free to call me at any time!!

Love, Leigh

Sharon said...

His ways are perfect and pure.
When He speaks to something it obeys.
When it is time He will speak to the door and it will open.
Until then He is making the heart of His tool --tender.
He will not put you down until He has finished His good work.

CrownLaidDown said...

Praying for you, too, my friend! I would have emailed you, but don't have your address. Email me sometime so I can save yours :)

You have a precious heart. I thank God for you today!
Love you much in Him,