Sunday, July 29, 2007

MY oh MY........LONG

Dearest Blog readers, whoever you are......=) I don't even know where to begin. I have had the most amazing couple of days of my life. For those who haven't kept up with me........uh hum =)....(yes, I forgive you) I went on a prayer retreat for a precious few days this weekend.........and how oh how do I even begin to tell you the amazing things the Lord has done in me. First, I am very sleepy as I'm writing this so please forgive my lack of grammar correctness.....see there I go, I've already started!

Ok, so Thursday morning we left and let me begin by telling you what God did before I even got in the car.........whoa.....I found out I was riding with a girl that I had once looked at her house that was for sale......we never really talked much and I always thought I had offended her by not liking her house.......but anyways, so a little awkward at first, but I was just so excited to get going. I also rode with two other amazing women that I knew but didn't "know". So, of course, here I am in the front seat of this lady's van just chatting away and she says to me....."So did ya'll ever find a house?" =) I was like phew.......ok, she brought it up first! So, I told this amazing story of our "adventure" to our house. She was really cool about everything.

We got to Apple Hill mountain around 10:00. Well, come to find out, I'm sharing a room with this woman too.........I was like oh Lord, You MUST have something up. For you to have brought her into my life 6 months ago and now I rode in the car for an hour and a half with her and NOW we're sharing a room!! But, I felt totally fine about it, she's actually an amazing woman! Ok, fast foreword.......get settled, get to our first "session". So we're all standing there singing and my friend hits me and she points to this person standing behind us and she says, "That's her.....that's so in so." Ok, rewind........the car ride up there I was telling the ladies in the car about our house adventure and I had mentioned a woman's name......it was the daughter in law of the lady that passed away that owned our house.....I had never met her but apparently everyone at Hickory Grove has..... ok, so my friend is like "That's her....." (the daughter in law) I about fell over RIGHT there, and the thing hadn't even started!

So, of course I had to go right over and introduce myself to her, she got a huge kick out of it too!! Ok, praising God, listening to awesome speaking is how I spent the rest of the afternoon......nothing else really "big" happened.....in fact, I was even starting to wonder why God had brought me on this trip.........(ha ha, those who have gone can laugh at that!!) I was just having a good time reconnecting with people I hadn't really talked to in a long time, and just hanging out basically...........well, that changed VERY QUICKLY. That night, my roomy and I had some amazing conversations and I mean AMAZING. I quickly saw why God had put us together. Well, after talking way to late we finally said goodnight. And I rolled over to go to sleep but NO SUCH thing happened to me. Oh no.........

Tossing and turning I was like, Lord, come on......I have no children to listen out for, a REAL bed (after sleeping on an air mattress for two months!!!) a peaceful setting.......just let me go to sleep..........no sleep.......no sleep......then finally I was like OK LORD, WHAT IS IT???? And at that moment I felt God's spirit revealing to me how selfish I am.........and then here I was at 1am being completely broken........in my bed. WHOA. I kept asking God, "Why am I here, what to you want to say to me.....me me me." So I said, OK Lord, we will work on this in the morning.......and He said, "OH YES, NICKI, we will work on this."

So, I awoke with very little sleep but surprisingly very refreshed. God was saying, Get ready girl.......So, God begins this morning with me telling me how perfectly selfish I am......then asks me if I am willing to give up my greatest hearts desire (for Him to use me) and THEN breaks me some more about other issues.......fills my heart with so much wisdom......and then.........oh then the good stuff began............we went to the mountain. Now for those who have been, I can stop right there but I realize I must go on.....without to many details for those who will one day go to this amazing place. Now, if you have ever heard the phrase "God meets you where you are", let me share with you this amazing experience.

There was one woman who was on crutches......I'm not sure what is wrong with her, but physically she was not able to climb up this mountain, so they drove as far as they could up it and a group of them stayed right there. Well, the rest of us climbed our way up.....and I was HOT AND SWEATY and I mean HOT. So, we get up there and this amazing leader starts to tell us about this moutian and all the amazing things that have happened there. It's amazing.......just trust me. And we began to lay hands on people about different things. Well, I felt God's spirit calling me to come.........come and meet him "where I was", just like the other woman. I began walking a little ways down the path and all of the sudden I just stopped and sat down. (Now mind you.....God's dealing with me on selfishness ok?)

As I sat down I just had to soak it all in........and I was kinda in la la land not really knowing what was going on around me.....it's hard to explain. So, the moment I started to pray.......all was SILENT around me, I mean not one bumble bee buzzing (they were everywhere up there) not one leaf blowing, cricket chirping.....nothing, complete silence, I've never experienced anything like this before) So, God brought my brother on my heart and so I said, Ok.........and I started to pray. The MOMENT, and I mean the MOMENT I began to pray the wind started swilling around me.......and not just like a gentle breeze, it was very different. So, I prayed and I prayed. Well......the stubborn soul that I am.....of course I began to pray for MY MINISTRY.......well, the wind STOPPED, the whole place became silent again..........and I thought to myself.......Oh Lord, You are NOT messing around with me.......You are very serious about this right now. So, the MOMENT I began praying again for others again, the wind started again...........it was all so surreal.........in fact in the moment, I don't even think I realized what was happening, if that makes sense. Well, come to find out.......God had met those other woman and the bottom the a very similar way.....amazing, just amazing.

God was speaking to me a great deal on prayer and how I desperately need to pray for those people that come on my heart.......without question, judgement or hesitation.....just do it. WHOA.........ok so I so could've just gone home right then and there, but that was JUST the beginning of an incredible night. After we got back then God began to deal with me on a WHOLE NEW ISSUE.........submission........oooooooo. YUCK is what I thought, I was like, "Lord........we just had this amazing experience, why OH WHY MUST we deal with this now???" Well, I realized why, because I had some HUGE and I mean HUGE areas between Kris and I that according to scripture, I am not in submission to. SO......ya, that was fun..........

Well, After all that was over, we were able to enter into the "holy place". (This was all centered around the tabernacle setting btw) Well, was I NOT prepared for that.......I had the most amazing worship experience with my sisters in Christ....I will never forget it....I didn't want it to end, I could have gone on for hours in that special place. (God speaks to me a great deal through worship) Oh........I wish I could take you there just for a moment. I could feel God's touch all over me........almost like he was holding me, touching my face.........wiping my tears, pouring my heart into him......molding me......speaking to me.......filling me with His spirit.......oh it was just amazing.......amazing to sit there and praise Him, worship that was truly lead by the spirit........you would've NEVER thought we were some Southern Baptist women in that room........whoa.

Oh friends.....I could go on and on. It's very late though and I am very tired........as soon as we got back Kris was there to sweep me off to paint paint paint and we have not stopped......well for church we did!! My life has been changed..........I am not the same anymore and I want you to see that to know that. I had so much revealed to me about things happened in the past.....friendships that I let go that even in that place, God restored as I was able to share my heart with an old friend that night.......to tell her I just love her and I am praying for her.......God is so much bigger than this world ya'll.........Oh there is so much more SO MUCH MORE.......but only what can be found in His PERFECT presence.........only what His son, Jesus did for us so that we can have this fellowship with Him.........so much more happened and I wish I could tell you everything. I hope you have seen a glimpse of what has happened. I am so ready......I am still on top of this mountain.....but it has gotten very hard today, this afternoon........this world is so full of evil and hate as I saw that two hours after I got home yesterday......someone stole things out of Kris's truck as we were in Home depot buying paint, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!! In the MIDDLE OF THE PARKING LOT!!! But, I won't let the enemy win.....I won't. Lot's of things have happened since I've been home and it just makes me want to go to sleep........

And sleep I will...........goodnight sweet blogging readers and friends. I'm not sure how much I'll be on this week, since we are trying to get this mad rush of things done before move in...

Palms up Lord.........I surrender all.

Walking and LIVING by Faith, NEVER by sight,
Nicki

6 comments:

Kim said...

So thankful you had a "mountaintop" experience. God's timing was perfect once again. Maybe He is leading you to write a study on prayer...Praying for you two as you nail down those home projects. I still need you for the skit on the 12th - will that be possible with your move?

Leigh Gray said...

i knew you would love it and Him even more!!! I have got to get those girls to Illinois!!!

Praising Him with you!!

Leigh

Nicki said...

Kim,
YES girl......you just let me know where I need to be and what I need to say and I am there!!!

Kim said...

Great! Ummm...got to finish writing it first - I have it all in my head it just needs to flow to the paper. I was going to try to get us together maybe this Sunday right after church to run through it and give you your lines. I have to contact my three other mothers to confirm their availability. Just figured it would same us another trip to church - at that time we can set up a practice and plan for executing it well. I will let you know soon.

Thanks - I am excited about it!

Valarie said...

Oh girl! Did I tell you to put on your helmet and strap on your seatbelt? God is sooooo good and I think He anticipates that retreat as anxiously as all of us do!! Oh how I wish I could've been there! Fri night I looked at my watch and knew what ya'll were doing so I went to my sister's basement and had me some worship right there with ya'll! LOVE IT!!

When you were talking to God about your ministry consider that praying for others could be a HUGE part of your ministry!! That's the most powerful ministry there is! Not a lot of "out there" recognition but oh the crown that will wait! Just something to be thinking about since your prayers for others caused Him to send the wind dancing!!
Love ya girl!
Hope I see you at church tonight so I can squeeze that neck of yours!!!

CrownLaidDown said...

Missed you Nicki! Hope your birthday was very wonderful!! Praying oveer you this very moment...asking God to come and rescue you, Friend.
Love you much in Him,
Holly