Thursday, June 07, 2007

Quite Moments

This morning Kennedy was up very early and was so sleepy that she is already back down for a nap, all three of the girls were up very late last night so they are all snoozing. I've got myself a STRONG cup of coffee and I'm ready for God to show up big time in my life this morning!

I've already sat here for a few minutes just trying to figure out which direction to go this morning. There is a lot on my mind.........A LOT. We still have not heard about the house, this situation is different b/c the house is a short sale so we are working with a bank instead of the owners. They have up to 5 days to respond but we just found that out yesterday. And we do not know if they are just going to say no to our offer or if they will counter-offer. I know this much........since they are not willing to pay ANY closing costs and the house is being sold as is (but it's in great condition) they had better seriously think our offer through. I don't think that Kris and I can come up much higher on our offer. So we wait some more! =) It's ok, I've been through so many emotions this whole process but I truly know that if this is the house God has intended the papers are already signed. I loved how Sharon left a comment and said, "No one and nothing is going to keep you from receiving God's blessing." Isn't' that the truth!!!

Last night after church we were taking one of Taylor's friends home and we got to see her big brand new house! I saw my little girl's eyes get big as they saw the difference between that house and the house we are looking at. BUT, my sweet Taylor said something that touched my soul........she and Hope have been sharing a room here at my mom's house and they have really gotten attached to each other. Taylor told me as we were driving home, "I don't care if I have my own room, I just want to be with Hopie." "And mommy, it doesn't matter if we have a big house or not, just as long as we are just our family." Sweet words that are my sweet reminder that WE WILL BE OK. (as long as I don't have to share a room with Kennedy anymore!!!!!)

And normally after seeing a friend receive God's blessing or God's favor with a housing situation I might tend to be a little jealous especially right now with all we're facing. But I really wasn't and I'm SO thankful. I have found that it is much better to rejoice with others than to be jealous of others. It's so much more freeing! I once knew someone who was filled with jealousy. This person even went as far as hurting dear friends because of her jealousy and her ways to "be better" than everyone. Whether or not she did it on a conscious level or not wasn't the issue, but it's amazing what people will go through to one up you!

I think we as women need to bring it back down a level. I think my eyes have truly been opened to the fact that there are many, MANY people out there who are living a lie.......living lives that are not what God has intended. And for what? To look better than the person beside us? And these are not our not just our neighbors.........these are our fellow church members, believers living in the same body. How is my question? And how do we stop it?

I see these girls.........and I see how impressionable they are even at this young age (especially Taylor). And I've thought so many times to myself.......if I can even get it through to just ONE of them how the "things" of this world do not matter, I will consider my parenting a success. They get so many mixed signals from people all around. I think of the words to this song I don't know what it's called........."We need to get back to the basics of life........" That is what I want.........and that is not how I grew up, trust me! And I truly believe because of the lessons that were instilled in me whether my parents knew it or not.....is why I've had such a struggle with my own personal finances.

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a desire to have a nice home or nice clothes........and I think God wants us to have those things........but again I see that it's whether or not our desires for "things" outweigh our desire for God's plan. I can't help but wonder, how many people have missed their calling in life because of the worries of finances? Even myself......I KNOW that God has called me into the ministry....HE confirmed that in my life when I was 17 years old. And I know even though I've taken a few wrong turns, that calling is still there. BUT, I've also realized that it's ALL in HIS time, not mine. Everything I've gone through is for a reason, a purpose........greater than mine. But I still struggle with, "Well how would I pay for that or this?" I've even gone as far as to think, "Well, I cannot be a speaker, because I do not have the money to get my hair highlighted every six weeks!!!" =)

Oh I feel so strong about this, I feel like I could start a movement!!! I just wish.....oh I wish.......that preachers, leaders and speakers would really turn their preaching from "How to get God's blessings" to "How to return to God's calling on your life". We as women, we as mom's, we've got to get this through this generation coming up. It scares me to think of what is going to happen if we don't stop. And I'm speaking to myself right now.......I know MANY times these girls get mixed signals from me, I've got to find the balance. As a mom I've truly seen how we have such an ability to make such an impact on these young little lives. I don't know how it works when they are teens or tweens but I know right now, these girls will believe whatever I tell them! But they will also believe what other's tell them as well........that is why the strongest messages MUST come from our home. They have to be grounded and FILLED with the truth that they will recognize the lies that Satan wants them to believe.

Well, I have just gone on and on this morning.........sorry, but I feel so strong about this. I guess I just see what an impact a mother can have on a daughter's life and it all makes so much sense to me now.........so much sense. It's starts with us.......it really does. God working through us if we will clear our minds, our schedules and our mixed messages we receive all day long.

Dearest Lord,

You have placed such a burden on my heart today. You have convicted me in many, many ways. I am sorry, I'm so sorry for all the wasted time I've spent on trying to keep up. I'm so sorry for the mixed messages I have sent your girls. I am sorry for looking to the things of this world to fill me up.....when only you can do that.

Lord, I have such a desire to see these girls grow up in confidence without the fear of judgements, lies and burdens that our society brings to their life. But Lord, let it start with me. Let it start today, even now. May I be so grounded in you that nothing, no one can shake me up. Allow me opportunities to share with them each day how you work, how you bless and how you teach us to obey.

Help me Father to find balance, help me to walk in your blessings but not be consumed only with them. Take my eyes off of me and my situations and allow me to see areas where I can help others. Oh sweet Lord, make your desires my desires always. I love you. Amen.

3 comments:

pinkmommy said...

Beautiful post. Thank you for your words. I LOVE the perspective on life that my little girl gives me. I will try my hardest to instill in her that the ONLY opinion we have to worry about is our Saviour's. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says. Whew, that is so much easier said than done!

Sharon said...

Can I climb up on the soap box with you?
This is such a topic I could so jump on. I almost get angry when I think about how society imposes expectation on us. And that includes church society. I am really blessed with the church we go to now. Everyone is so down to earth. People dress how they want to dress. Drive what they want to drive and live in what they want to live in.
We are a different people.
In the last church I felt massive pressure to fit in. I even started coloring my hair because someone told me I needed to cover my gray. I changed the way I dressed because there was a certain type dress that was acceptable. I began to only like myself if they like me. I felt like I was in high school again.
Then God began to rework my mind and help me like the me on the inside.
I so want my daughter to like herself. Since she was really young I remind her every once in a while that God does not make ugly. And He has never made any mistakes.
May God surround us with real people. People after His heart.

Lucy said...

Preach, sista!!! I am so amazed everytime I read a blog that verifies exactly the same thing that God is teaching me. It is so obvious that God is doing an amazing work among the women folk in this generation and it is showing up time and time again in our blogs. satan is having a hay day with the internet, but God is most definitely having His way with it too and we already know who's going to win!

Great post!!!