Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The elderly and I

I think this would be a good title for a book! My life......it has been blessed and blessed some more by the elderly people of this world....and I do mean world. Let me explain......when I was a young girl, I must have been 7 years old because we lived in Germany, (and we moved there when I was 7), I remember my first experience with a love that filled my heart for the elderly. It was Christmas time and you know how a lot of children go to nursing homes and sing songs for the elderly? Well, this time the nursing home came to our church.......gotta explain something real quick: Our "church" consisted of maybe 50 people, if that, we met in a German church outside of the base where my dad worked.

I don't remember a lot but I remember making those toothpick ornaments that had a pictures of Jesus to give these elderly people. At one point in the service we were supposed to go and stand beside the person we wanted to give our ornament too. I remember being so filled with excitement trying to find the sweetest little grandma or grandpa to give my ornament too, the whole service I was searching. And then I felt it, I felt at 7 years old why I would be set apart, different. There was a very overweight woman, I remember her legs were so swollen.....she sat in the middle, I think, in a wheelchair and she didn't smile or look at these sweet children singing to her at all. She looked tired, sad and like she really did not want to be there.

So the time came for us to pick our person....and I remember feelings sickly sad for this poor woman, her face just showed sadness.........I walked over to her as no one was even near her, they had all picked the happy joyful grandmas, and I gave her my ornament. She didn't smile....she just looked at it. I started to get teary eyed, but it was time to sing silent night while we stood beside them. Fighting the tears I sang my soul away. The woman never said a word to me, she never thanked me, she just sat there.

After the time was over and we said our good-byes, I remember my dad saying to me, in an almost annoyed tone, "Why did you pick her?". Maybe he was upset at her ungratefulness to his daughter who truly just wanted to make someone smile. I don't remember my answer, I'm sure it was a shrug of the shoulders, but I remember, oh I remember feeling that it wasn't me that picked her, it was something else.

Since that point in my life, I have had many experiences similar to that. God sending an elderly person into my life, not sure why, but for some reason. I think about how I worked at a nursing home after my senior year in high school....and I still remember each and every one of those residents. I remember there was one lady named "bunny" and she was an actress and at some point in her life she was a "part" of the wizard of oz, but in her mind she was still living on the set each day....she roll through the hallways singing her little heart away!

Why on earth am I sharing all this through my quite time this morning?! We went and looked at that very small house I was telling you about yesterday.......and of course, next door......a very sweet elderly man. Now mind you, I just left Mrs.Martha and Mr.Ted in Lake Park and that was devastating enough on everyone, I don't know if I could bear the thought of living next door again to an elderly couple and my girls getting attached again, never mind my attachments! But then I thought.....God, are you trying to show me something? Are you trying to confirm something in my life? Don't get me wrong.....I LOVE the elderly and I love the wisdom that they bring to my life. They have a way of getting to my soul like no one else does. And my soul aches for them as they feel like their lives are "over" and they so are not!!!

Was that God's sunshine shinning down on me through the smile in that man's face as he waved at our family? Possibly. It's a very cute house, but it's very small. It's not the kind of house you can have a lot of people over. It's small but, it's small in a sweet, simple way. And the price is WHOOO HOOO!! BUT, it's a huge redecorating project and I'm still not sure if I'm up to it with three young girls. But maybe we could have the big stuff contracted out, if God allows. Kris and I are big do it yourself'ers (I'm sure that will turn up in the spell check!) but it's just a matter of time these days! It would be fun, it would not be a forever house, or it could be if we put on an addition. So, I'm praying for some kind of confirmation, I don't have it yet. I still don't know why with that very first house we made a contract on, I just totally felt God through that process and I was so sure that was the house he had for us. Maybe I'm afraid to let myself feel that again, because I'm afraid I'll be wrong again......I'm just not sure.

Praying for confirmation today.......somehow. Thanks for walking down this road with me! Let me know your thoughts!! Have a super blessed day!!

1 comment:

Sharon said...

My heart hurts for those who are hurting. Right now it is my Father in law. Yesterday in the hospital with my mother in law was very rough. She did not know what was going on and she keep acting like she was washing her hands or getting something out of the cabinet.
Paw Paw was so upset. He thought she was reaching for heaven and that this morning he would get up to find she was gone. He can't see and at his age 91, he does not have much control over his life now.
I stood by my (step) mother in laws side and gently brushed my hand along her face and hair--it seemed to calm her.
He wonders why God is keeping him here. I told him that God has a purpose for him and he won't be taken home until that purpose is complete. He said that he keeps asking what that purpose is. A week or so ago he had a dream about he and a bunch of other deacons at church they were waiting for something. He thought they were waiting for the angels to come and tell them their purpose. In a minute the door opened and a bright light entered the room...it was the angels. And then he woke up.
Sometimes I get aggravated with situation..he gets stuck on what ifs. But them I remember that God has me here for a purpose and He wants to love Paw Paw through me.
I understand your burden/purpose.
Moving in that little house--if that is God's will---may not make sense to you. But, if it is Gods will, He has a job for you. How cool that He could be using a house to bring you to a ministry.
Love your heart. Keep searching for His face. The pure in heart will see God. Mat 5:8--my favorite verse.