Wednesday, May 09, 2007

I kneel because.........

The reverence that I have for our Father is very real today! My heart this morning is truly on bended knee before my Lord. I do not kneel because I have to, because someone told me to, out of fear or out of guilt.......I kneel before my Lord this morning because I simply want to. There are many things I do not want to do today, but I want to spend this precious time on bended knee before him. "More time Lord", that has been my prayer. And He has given me that. He has quieted this season of my life. For some reason all the distractions seem to be gone, all the lists seem to be gone, it is truly a quiet season in my life. And I'm ok with that. I know with school being out in a few weeks, things will get busy with the girls again so I'd better enjoy it while I can. I've done a lot of reflecting over the past few days.......on what exactly I feel God is leading me to do. But this morning, I just feel like He is saying, "It's time to bow the knee....." "It's time to just soak me up......" Oh yes Father, I want to be a sponge filled with only you.

You know when you go from busy, busy, busy, to quiet, quiet, gives you a very different perspective on life. I never thought with three little ones this time would come in my life right now, but bible study is over, I've put e-bay on hold for a little bit.....until I can find somewhere to set everything up......, the girl's aren't really in any activities except T-ball, which has only been on Saturdays......Kris is working so much I don't have time to go anywhere at night..... this isn't my house, I only have two rooms to keep organized (which is awesome!!) so you see, it's just a time of being still..and I'm ok with that. I'm thankful for this brief time of just being still before him, and soaking him up. It's given me a lot of time to work on this bible study, perhaps it's why God has given me this period of quietness........He really did clear my schedule. Now, if He would just allow that baby to sleep a good bit of the would be grand!! =) She is still waking up like every two or three hours thinking it's time to play. I long for the days where she is back in her own room!!!! But I'm starting to see a pattern.......I don't know if it's real or not.....but when I feel like God is leading me to do something.......He really leads me, meaning He really makes it possible to spend a lot of time researching, writing and just sitting with Him while He speaks......

This morning God blessed my heart with this scripture in Ephesians 3:14-21. I would write the whole thing out, but that would take forever. It starts off by saying, "For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and earth derives its name." I just LOVE what my footnotes say about this verse, "God is our Father and we can commit our prayers to him in full confidence." I think back to the blogger, Especially Heather, and her prayers of FULL CONFIDENCE in God making her life last to the fullest. She has no doubt when she writes, she knows who is in charge of her life and she is so amazing to walk on in HIS greatness.

The other verse that speaks so highly to me is this, v17.........."And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ........" "Established in love......." oh aren't those amazing words??? What does it mean to you to be established in love? To me it's just an amazing thought........I think of when you establish your home (hee hee, you know where my thoughts are today!!!) unpack all the boxes, you paint, you decorate, you really take the time to organize and take pride in your home........But oh be "established in love........" what an amazing thought. And this isn't a whishy washy love, this is an everlasting, all powerful, all knowing love. Like a house may, this love doesn't go away it doesn't change, it is there forever. Although my situations may change, I will go through very busy times, very quiet times and very stressful roots never change, I'm still from the same branch.....and most importantly I'm still hanging on!

I don't know if we will ever be able to truly grasp the love that Christ has for us. We can try with all our imagination and all of our strength but I don't know if we will ever be able to grasp the love of Christ until we stand before him face to face. Oh how my heart longs for that day. I can't wait until it's time to stand before him and finally see the face of Christ, I have imagined, I have thought, I have dreamed, but I don't think my heart will ever be prepared for the love that I will experience on that day. "I can only imagine........" Oh how I so want others to feel what I have felt, to experience God the way I have.......I'm not saying I have this perfect relationship with Christ, I'm just saying, I just want others to know the love that comes from Him, one else, nothing else, but Him. It took many years of my life to find out that no relationship, child, financial blessing, opportunity, trip or "thing" is going to fill me up the way that my sweet Lord does!!! And sometimes it takes God stripping away all those layers for it to be made real.......not a fun lesson.

Well, I do have some things to get done's never completely dull around's just quiet....and that's ok!!!! So I'd better go, I've so enjoyed my time with God and you today! Thanks for reading.....have a SUPER blessed day!!!

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