How does God choose?

Well, I'm still in John........still trucking through!!! This morning was awesome!! I'm in chapter 9, "Jesus heals a man born blind". I know I've read this passage before but today I saw something that really made me go, hmmmm.............

The disciples approach Jesus and that ask him, "Who sinned this man or his parents to make him blind?" Jesus replies in verse 3, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." I've never believed that sickness or physical problems were due to sin, although I know there are many people who do believe that. Although, I don't know if I'm totally against the idea that the thoughts we have can make us sick, like if we think negative all the time, it eats us up, I think that may have something to do with some physical problems people have. I think that is also a huge factor in the healing process, "setting our mind on things above and not the worries of this world". But I see through that specific scripture that we should never say we or others are sick or disabled due to sin. Christ speaks very clearly that it's all for His glory! But my question is, How does God choose? How does he pick who is going to be sick or like this man blind? What makes them different, set apart? Why does he choose to heal some like this man but not others?

In our family we have had a few illnesses that caused a stay at the hospital and a surgery with our oldest daughter, it was a hard fight when we were going through it, but compared to what I see others go through, it was nothing......... Kris, my husband, was diagnosed with Chron's disease a few years ago....he was very sick for a long time. His medicine was costing us over $500 a month and we simply could not afford it.......which is so sad, but it's also amazing, listen........The dr.'s told Kris that he would be on medicine for the rest of his life. Kris wasn't accepting that!!! I think it was the frugal side of him!! =) We had everyone we know praying for him and I truly believe that God touched him and made him well. To this day he takes no medicine for his disease, in fact I don't think he even has it anymore!!! I believe that God healed him. I believe that God heard our humbled prayers and stepped down and healed him. Was it so Kris could experience the grace of God first hand.......possibly, he was a pretty new Christian at the time and he was at a very critical point with his walk with the Lord.

I have to say though, that through that very hard time with Kris and my oldest, Taylor........I saw God work like I NEVER have in my life before. That whole situation made my faith what it is today. I saw God use our church family, and friends in huge ways. I saw God provide in ways that just weren't possible. But what's so hard to swallow, is that right after that huge time of God showing himself, we went through the next hardest time in our lives financially. You want to know what I think it was? I think God allowed Kris and Taylor to be ill so just like this blind man, God's greater glory could be revealed, and it was! But then the medical bills starting pouring in........and I think our faith became weak again. I think we didn't think God was going to do two miracles! Again, I put God in a box..........not a good thing to do. I made God smaller than He is. I learned, oh I learned!! But did I? Because I still battle these fights of my soul of, "Well, God's just not going to do that this time!"

For example, I had a comment left on my blog from Sharon, (thank you!), that you know God could step down and provide our down payment in other ways. I guess I never thought of that, and isn't that belittling God once again?? She is absolutely right, God doesn't "need" my ideas, he doesn't "need" to know what I think needs to happen!!! God just wants me to walk..........just to keep on walking in obedience to Him and QUIT trying to figure it all out! I can't tell ya'll HOW many times I've sat down and written out, exactly how much Kris needs to make each week to save enough for this down payment, figure out our spending, and what we can cut out, over and over.........

Maybe it's the momma in me........maybe it's the flesh in me........maybe it's me fighting God's perfect will for us. You know, I read so many blogs where people really put on a front.......I don't want to do that, I want ya'll to see God working through my life, to see the battles I face everyday, but not for my glory, for HIS glory, so that you may know that there is a momma in Charlotte,NC who does not have a perfect life, who is trying to still walk in obedience on a day by day basis............Just like this verse said, "so that the work of God might be displayed in his life..........." (replace his with her!) Someone said to me, "I don't know how you have time to write on a blog everyday......I certainly don't have time to read it everyday." Yes you do, we all have times in our days, some days it's more time than others..........I use this blog time as part of my quiet time with the Lord. Where before I was just reading scripture, praying and going on about my day.........when I write about it and all the situations I'm facing, God's able to deal with it a lot more than he was before...........plus I'm able to receive some amazing encouragement from others that I might not be able to had I just kept it all to myself.......

Of course there are things that I can't write about here on, because I know certain people may read it...........those things that I deal with, I write in my bible or my hand written journal. I never want to make anyone feel bad on this blog, but I realize that there are things in my life I just have to be honest about........but not on here. Well, along those lines, please pray for my brother today........the battle is getting harder and harder, but I was able to see a small victory in his life yesterday! God's not done......he'd be gone already if He was. Just like my friend Leigh said on her blog yesterday........If we're still here, we'd better get to work, or we'd better start planning our funereal!!! SO TRUE!!!

Well, I have just gone on and on this morning!! I'm feeling the holy spirit, what can I say!!!! =) Real quick.........small victories yesterday: Did an AWESOME work out on the TV, (my parents have like every channel ever invented so they have just a work out channel, but oh my aching buns...=) ) I didn't spend very much at the grocery store!!! It was GOD!!!! AND I found some great stuff for my ebay lot!!! WHOOOO HOOOO!!! God is good, even in the small victories!!

Have a very blessed, VICTORIOUS day!! Any victories that you would want to share??? I'd love to hear them!!!