Have you ever???

What a great weekend we had, nothing to much going on, just a lot of much needed relaxing and hanging out! Yesterday at church I had the most amazing thing happen to me, and I have to ask if this has ever happened to anyone else? FIRST, God totally spoke to me through praise and worship time, It was just awesome.....even though it seemed like everyone around me was asleep, not me, I was praising at the throne!!! We even sang, "I am a friend of God", I had just put that song on my last blog entry! Don't you LOVE it when God tells you something and then confirms it in a big way like that???!!!!

But, here's my deal.........I was sitting there and all of the sudden, it came to me!! What my next bible study should be on. Oh, but my friend........God gave me a HUGE vision for this message! God's not done with the "Lord I've messed up, fessed up.......now raise me up!", message that he gave me last summer. I felt like his voice was saying, Keep On Nicki.......keep on. There is a LOT of tweaking to that study that needs to happen and I need to get some feedback from my bible study girls.......but while I was praying and all throughout the day yesterday, I just kept feeling the voice of God say, keep going on with that message, it's not over. Where God is going to take it......I don't know. I know I just need to be very obedient to Him and press on with a heart that He has given me to write. The general message of this study now needs to be based on this scripture that Christ has shown me this morning.......Psalm 73:26, "My flesh, and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

And then it's hit me again.......this situation with my brother.....it's a HUGE part of this message, and I thought, wow, I can see it......I can see God taking this bad event in our lives and turning it around for the good!! JUST like his promises say. "For we know that God works all things out for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." God's done it in my life and I know He's going to do it in many women's lives, to experience the grace and freedom that is found in His perfect forgiveness. The more I draw closer to different people the more I really see that no one has lived a blameless life.........no one has a perfect family........no matter how "cookie cutter" people make their lives seem, it's not that way. And the thing is........IT'S OK. He's going to use everything we face for His glory.

Our pastor said something that really struck home with me.........you know so much that is going on around us is just plain...evil. But no one wants to say that word, no one wants to put the blame where it belongs..........the media and our society wants to blame our president, the schools, the parents, the psychologists........everyone but the devil himself. And our pastor asked a question, "Are you ready to stare at the face of the devil and defeat him?" I was like OH YA!!! BRING IT!!!! Even with this situation with my brother, I have heard my family say things like oh it's b/c of this, or b/c of that...........no, the devil has had his hand on my brother and defeat is on the way!!! I have never been afraid of spiritual warfare and I have experienced it in HUGE ways in my personal life, so I know.........I know what it means to say, "To look at the face of the devil himself".

But I don't like to give the devil more credit than he deserves, that's just what he wants. To turn the focus off of the cross and onto Him. And that is NOT what I want to do.........my whole focus is on the cross and what it has meant to me personally. Oh, I'm excited!!! Can you tell!!!!

Oh God is good, through it all, God is so good!!!! He is so faithful, He has called me His friend and He wants to share with me His heart............how amazing, how awesome, how........simply perfect He is!! I'm so excited I have a focus again, it's been a long time.......and it's ok that it's not a new message, I think I belittled God with this message He layed on my heart, and I'm so thanful that He reminded me yesterday of his perfect grace. Oh Lord, forgive me, I have made you to small in my mind............

Later...........

Ok, had to stop for a few hours and rush Kennedy to the dr.............she fell down the stairs as I was writing that last part..........bless her heart, she's going to be ok, she had a mild concusion.......so scary!! But she's ok!!! Have a blessed day!!!
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