Monday, April 16, 2007

A dissatisfied soul

This morning God has awoken me bright and early and for good reason. I have to tell ya'll that this situation I've asked for prayer for is turning into a BIG God thing. I wish I could share the details with you so you could see exactly how God is working, but out of respect and privacy, I just can't, perhaps one day this person will let me share with you what God is doing in their life. I thank all my prayer warriors for stepping up at this time, God is good! The battle is not over, but the commander is back in charge!

Today my devotion is on blessed dissatisfaction. I just want to be honest here for a moment. Yesterday at church the sermon was...............well, not the best I've ever heard. It was full of many stories and I really just couldn't put it all together. I was very disappointed b/c I was so excited to get to church to fill my soul. Then Kris and I have signed up to teach the one's.........it ended up being QUITE a challenge. 5 crying babies all at once, 4 poopy diapers all at once and 5 hungry, tired one year olds! Needless to say, I left church feel quite dissatisfied. Yes, a personal problem, not the church's problem. I realized something BIG this morning, I allow many circumstances to dictate whether I am satisfied or not. Now, had I gotten up early yesterday morning and had my personal quite time alone with the Lord, I'm sure my soul would have already been filled, I wouldn't have needed our pastor to fill me up. I depend on that way to many Sunday mornings, to be filled up at church.

Beth Moore wrote this comment that I just had to share with you, "Christians can be miserably dissatisfied if they accept Christ's salvation yet reject the fullness of a daily relationship that satisfies." Then she asked if I agree or disagree and why. I totally agree simply for the fact that I've seen that in my own personal life. I've seen where I depend on others, like my pastor, to fuel my soul when what it really comes down to is my own walk with the Lord. I told Kris yesterday as he was rolling his eyes at me and asking me why we were doing this, "We're missing the blessing right now." And that was the truth. So many times we miss the blessing because we are not finding immediate satisfaction in our souls. When we are pushed outside of our "normal comfort zones" we often tend to pull ourselves back, like "Whoa, wait a minute!"

Just as our bodies crave food and water, our souls should also crave the Lord. In fact I strongly believe that if we are not craving the Lord, something isn't right with our walks with Him. If we weren't hungry or thirsty anymore something would be seriously wrong with our physical bodies and it is no different then our spiritual walks. Circumstances can bring us down and make us feel yucky, if we allow them to. I think about how sad I was for DAYS with this situation, how much I let the devil steal my joy. Why??? I don't know. I don't want to be that way, I know that no matter what happens in this life good or bad it should never become more to my soul than where only God belongs. And I've done that before, I've put the worries of this life well above my walk with the Lord.

Well, our home is becoming very bare! The yard sale was a big success. I couldn't believe how many people were here. We had people here at 5:30!!! I wasn't even close to ready for them. You know there is one thing I don't like about yard sales.........pushy people. It's like you're asking a dollar for something and they want to give you a penny! But I'm just SO glad all the big stuff is gone. The girls have been at each other's throats this past week. I'm sure they have been sensing the stress in our home. I also think it's hard on them b/c they don't understand everything. HopeAnn just doesn't understand why we have to leave Mrs. Martha and Mr. Ted. She's so sweet.....bless her heart. Taylor has just been cranky because her routine is getting messed up! You know, I was SO BIG on routine with her as a baby but I'm starting to think that it's not the best thing to be like that, b/c then you train them to be these inflexible little divas. Hope and Kennedy are just so whatever about everything, they just go with it! Poor Kennedy, that child has never been on a routine. She doesn't care if she has a nap at 9,10 or 11, or even 12, just as long as she gets one! Somedays she wakes up at 6, other days 7 and sometimes if she just feels like she needs more sleep 8! Taylor used to wake up at 6:30 am on the dot, EVERY day! Even now she is still that way. My way of thinking sure doesn't line up with anything I've ever read! =) I guess that's the benefit of having three, you can see what doesn't work and what does! Not that I'd EVER be one to give parenting advice!!! =)

Well, I'd better go, this day awaits! I pray for many blessings on you this day! May your soul and MINE be filled with the satisfaction that only comes from the Lord and our own personal time with him. God is good, all the time, All the time, God is good.

Walking by faith and not by sight,
~Nicki

2 comments:

Leigh Gray said...

Taylor is a first born. Tucker is the same way. After we moved here he had his share of explosions - the girls just kind of went with it. It is nothing you have done, I don't think. It is just having her first, but one of them had to be first. You do a beautiful job and I know Taylor well enough to say that with confidence. She is so kind and considerate and so special!! Sensitive girl and that is not always a bad thing!!

Have a wonderful day and don't miss the blessing. Check out my blog today, it will give you great perspective if your own private situation has not already.

You are special and you are gifted. HE is proud of YOU!

Nicki said...

Thank you Leigh! You're awesome! I did look at Heather's website and left it in tears, WOW is all I can say. Thanks for sharing that with me. I'm glad you had a good time at the beach, I missed reading!!! =)