Monday, March 05, 2007

Increase my Faith!

Wow, this morning I have come across a few scriptures that deeply have spoken to my heart about my faith. I had written about this a few days ago, but I think it was the post that never posted! God, through Beth Moore and through this bible study, is doing a work in me. Oh my! Ya'll I have never thought that I lacked in the faith department with my walk with Christ, but I am seeing more and more I am. I lack in MANY areas with my walk with the Lord....(do I confess??) Hmm, Well, first it would be discipline, and this weight loss is a perfect example. I have gotten really slack lately, I've told ya'll before that I often feel like giving up before the task is done! Second area of lacking would be taking deep convictions I've had and doing something about them. I can't tell you how many times I've felt the Lord telling me to take a stand on something I have chosen not to because I didn't want to step on someones toes! And the third.....I guess it would relate to my faith now that I think about it.....Not trusting in God completely, trying to "figure it out" before I lay it all down. I'm SOOO bad about that. But, I assure you, I sure thought I had this "faith" thing down! But I don't.

I've been so convicted through this study of the many times I have not believed God's word completely. I would say it, I would pray it, but deep in my heart I would think that I just wasn't worthy for God to make those promises to me. I think about several times in life where I did simply just give up, and I turned to others, even Christians, for my answers. I believed them, instead of God. We have the ability to offer our simple advice to our Christian brother's and sisters but sometimes even we have the wrong words! I think about how I let someones words effect me for YEARS. This person told me after I had Taylor that Yes, God forgives me but He is a just God and there are consequences to our actions. Now......I totally believe that, BUT this was the wrong time in my life for this person to say that, I and many others had already punished myself enough and I was seeking God's grace! I spent several years of my life telling myself that every bad thing that happened to me was God's punishment for my sin because of what this very godly person had said to me. OH MY FRIEND, this is SO NOT TRUE!! I tell you this to say, that often Christians offer up "words of wisdom" but they are not right on, it is only through God's WORD, will we find the truth, the promises and the grace of God! We can't look to other's alone to get our answers. It should be God first and then wise council but what they say has to align with scripture.

It is only through scripture will we find our faith! It is taking God's word and praying it. As Beth Moore puts it: It's not about just believing in him (that's the easy part) It's about BELIEVING HIM. Taking his word, BELIEVING it and claiming it for everything in our lives!! Victory is found in him, and whoa! isn't Faith the ultimate victory??? WOW. But, then......oh here comes the "other side" of me..............I have to stop and think about all of the people I have known to face a tragedy in their lives. I think about this baby at our church EmmaGrace, who lost her battle with I believe it was cancer,......I KNOW that this baby was prayed for, by some amazing Christians, I know I prayed for her, but I also know that God said, No and took her home. And I think to myself.....why did God choose to do that? Why didn't He step down and take our faith and show the world His power and heal that baby???

And then I remember something I read once......I actually think it was Beth Moore who said this, "When God says no, He always has a greater purpose to fulfill." But that fleshly side of my can't help but say, What greater purpose could that have been? But then I think about my aunt (I hope you don't mind me sharing this!), she had a long battle and is still battling MANY health concerns, but ya'll........God has HEALED her, He has touched her and made her well! And I know, it's been through her faith, I see it all over her and my uncle. In the same way, she had MANY MANY people praying for her as did this baby. I see the work God did in her through faith!

I've seen people at our church who have been told they will never have a child......dedicating their babies on Sunday mornings. I see people who have been told they are going to die in 6 months, live to tell about it eight years later! I see marriages healed, lives made whole again all through faith......but I also see many hearts that are still broken, that still ache for their miracle to happen. I think about the times in my life where I have prayed for things to happen but God said No. And I can honestly say to you NOW.....not then, but now.....I see why God said no. And sometimes I believe we may never know why God says no. We may not know until the day we meet him face to face. But I don't know...........I don't know how I would be if one of my girls ever became so sick like that, or if God took one of them or Kris home. Where would I lye in my faith? I can tell you this, I know it would start off totally trusting in God, totally believing in God, but would it sustain me? Is my faith strong enough to sustain me through anything???? Deep thoughts......so early in the morning!

I close this morning with this verse in Luke 17:5 "The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" And that is my prayer today. That my faith WOULD be enough to sustain me at ALL times, even when God says no. But that I would develop this faith now.....not to have to go through a storm and then get it. Oh I hope all of this makes sense. Please post your thoughts if you wish. I always love to hear from you! Have a blessed day!

1 comment:

Anila said...

Nicki,
I stumbled upon your blog and have been going through most of your old posts. Very interesting and stimulating.

I'm sure you'd find this one interesting, too
www.ThereseInHeaven.blogspot.com.
And this: www.Desmonds-Place.blogspot.com

I won't give you more, as the linx there will give you the other lovely ones.

Blessings.