Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Don't know.....

Wow, this is the first time in a long time I've come on here to write my thoughts.......and I just don't know what to say! Once again my quite time is kinda ho hum this morning. My mind just cannot escape this job. I don't know what it is. I have no peace. The first thing when I woke up this morning, I thought was, I really don't want that job. And isn't this exactly what satan wants to do? Take my focus off of the Lord and onto something else???!!! Ugh. I have to tell ya'll the way this hospital has been treating me, it just doesn't make me want to jump for joy to work for them. They still haven't called me back to verify whether I have benefits, and I don't even have a start date!! I've explained to them that I have got to get my girls all figured out, but it just doesn't seem to matter. I don't know........I'm sorry, I just needed to vent for a moment.

This fear that I have has got to stop, this fear that I'm going to make mistakes that forever changes my life. The biggest problem I'm having with this job is that it's ever Sat night which means I most likely won't make it to church on Sundays. Maybe 8:00 service but not Sunday school. But, I could always go on Sunday nights......it's just not the same. Taylor and Hope have been so sweet, praying for me through this whole time. They are just precious..........(most of the time!) I thought to myself today, either God really doesn't want me to take this job, or the devil is trying to do everything he can do to cause me to stumble with this job. But how do I identify which is which??? Do I press on, seeking or do I do what I really want to do??? Oh Dear Lord, please show me.

Last night I got to have dinner with my bible study girls. I went way over my points, but that's ok! =) It was just one night! I never did make it to the Y yesterday, I got everyone dressed and ready to go and boom......Kennedy starts throwing up! So, I guess she still has a bit of this stomach bug. I've have bleached the whole house, washed everything, sprayed everything with Lysol, I don't know what else to do!! I am so thankful that God has protected me during this time. Thank you Father.

I am thankful for so much today, even though I'm in a bit of a complaining mood. God has been and is so good to me. His love and His grace are always enough for me, enough for me to make it through each trial and tribulation. He is answering many prayers, and He is guiding me in His ways. I'm reminded of this verse this morning: "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given unto you." A sweet reminder, to PRAY GOD'S WORD!!! So, that is what I will do today. I will keep praying and keep seeking until I get this answer, and I get it right! =) Well, I'd better go, have a blessed day!

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