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I am just not a person who fakes things well. This is one of my best qualities and worst qualities because while it's good to be authentic -sometimes you just gotta pull it together.

And so...this is where I tell you about this extreme love/hate relationship with this blog.

I love to write, I write daily. Whether it's on here or in my journal -words are always flowing through my fingers. But the problem with my writing is...I can't write what isn't on my soul. And what's in my soul right now...well, turns out there are things that I strongly believe need to be kept between you and the Lord.

And this just happens to be one of those seasons. One day there will be a great, beautiful story to share but right now it's a process.

It's one of the most painful seasons of life I've been through this far. And it's a season I would like to quickly pass.

But last night at church, God spoke a word to me like never before about this season.

I felt Him pick me up in His arms and cradle me with His undeniable presence and love. It was as if He placed a covering over me and told me over and over that He would always cover me. No matter what, He will cover me with His presence.

And because He is present...all things can be pleasant.

Did you get that? All things can be pleasant.

Maybe that's a word you need to hear too today. Somewhere in the midst of our journey with Christ we are often fed a lie...one that we are told that when we are in the center of God's will...we are the safest place to be. It's completely the opposite. When we are in the center of God's will, we are in the most dangerous place of our lives.

Opposition, hurt, fear and yes friends...failure -those are the truthful words about being in God's will.

During those long, hard days that seem to never end...sometimes (in the midst of God's will) we can forget that He is faithful.

So we as a church were challenged last night to write down 30 ways that God has been faithful to us as we looked over our lives. I embrace this challenge in tears this morning, because I know He is faithful and I have to keep pressing on. Because this may take a while, I thought today I'd start with five.

1. He is faithful to forgive me, no matter how many times I mess up. (Psalm 103:12) He gave me that promise after I got pregnant with Taylor. Every time I look at her I see a beautiful picture of God's mercy. I don't deserve such an amazing girl and she blows my mind away.

2. He is faithful to bring me hope in every situations. (Jeremiah 29:11) He gave me this promise while pregnant with Hope Ann. She has lived up to her name and brought more hope to my life than I could have ever dreamed. The glass is always half-full with her and she makes this world a beautiful place with the hope she brings everyone.

3. He's faithful to forgive but to also make me feel grace, not condemnation. (Romans 8:1) He gave me this promise while pregnant with Kennedy Grace. She was to be God's grace to me. (She is...even through all of her quirks like sticking beads up her nose.) I think we have to remember that God wants us to laugh in life, to experience joy and find a way to find the good in everything...and that's why He's brought Kennedy into my life.

4. He is faithful to tell me I am beautiful. (psalm 45:11) While teaching a bible study three times now called "Do you think I'm beautiful?", I have poured those words into almost 150 women over the past few years. I thought it was for them...but every time I taught those words, God reminded me that yes...when no one else does...He thinks I'm beautiful, just the way I am.

5. He is faithful to set me free. (Isaiah 42:7) This past year of my life, this is what God has been giving me every day. Freedom. To worship. To believe. To live a life that's full in Him. I feel so free to praise Him how I want. To dance before His throne. To laugh in His presence. To believe that He wants me to be free.

God's been faithful. And He will continue to be faithful.

I don't know if you like me sometimes get a little weary in this dry land, but take heart today and know that you are not alone. Greater things are yet to come, this much I believe. But with greater things come greater challenges.

But we must press on because God is for us, not against us. He wants us to finish strong. We are not defeated because the victory has already been paid for with a high price. Never take that for granted.

Know it. Believe it. Live it.