Sunday, December 20, 2009

I have to write this post.

I think sometimes you know you are a writer when your bones ache for something to be written. When you toss and turn through the night with how you can make your words flow out right and connect through the weave of emotions that you are experiencing...signs of a writer, for sure.

I have pushed this post off way to long.

But God.

I have not wanted to write this. Because I know it may stir the pot in some lives. And my up most goal in life is to never stir hearts to controversy but only to stire hearts to Jesus.

You have heard me say many times on this blog that we have been searching for almost five months now for a new church home. Five, L-O-N-G months. Five months of tiresomely being guest after guest. Five months of the groans of my girls, "Can't we just make a choice." Five months of prayer and petition to Christ to reveal His plan to us. Five months of feeling disconnected, lost and without a solid place to rest.

Five months.

Never did I dream it would take that long. I had a list. I had a plan. I knew where God was going to lead us. And I...was completely wrong.

But God.

A traditional girl at heart, these "modern" church's made me feel a little uneasy. After all, Sunday mornings in our lives have always included chaos to find matching black patent leather shoes, carefully made bows and the perfect dress for all three of our girls. We would scoot out the door just in the nick of time, toss everyone into their Sunday school classes and somehow try to connect with God. In a pretty sanctuary. In a beautiful church. In a one-stop central for the needs of our family.

Why would we ever want anything else?

But God.

A few weeks ago God confirmed where He was sending us. But...I, not my husband, I fought Him. Because it didn't fit the mold of what I was looking for. I wasn't sure my gifts would ever be able to be used in a church like this one. And my girls? There was practically nothing for them other than Sunday's. So why would we ever want to go there?

To top things off, a lot of people in my circle of friends...they didn't have great things to say about this church: "It feels like a rock-concert, not church." {True} "They don't have any solid teaching going on there." {False} "There's no kids programs."{False} "That Pastor curses in the pulpit."{False False False} "They are like a cult."{False} "It's to loud."{True}

I think...I have heard it all.

But God.

This girl with a very traditional heart for God....has feared the relevance that this church offers. Is it necessary? Is it helpful? Is it really how God wants church done?

But since our girls have been out of their private Christian school and we have left our very traditional church, the Lord has been revealing a word to me..."Community." There's an entire WORLD out there past the church walls. A world filled with people, nice people, who are doing great things for this world around us!

As I look around the seats that fill this very modern sanctuary some have wild hair, some are old, some are young, some are rich, some are poor, some are popular, some are unknown and some are just different.

I like them.

And let me just go ahead and say this. It's not that I don't like the people at our old all. I love them and I refuse to bring Satan any more glory as to the reasoning behind our decision to leave. God was clear. It was no person, no persuasion, no single act of anything....God. Was. Clear.

So, I do not judge you for your reasons to do not judge us for our reasons to leave. There have been those that have been very clear as to whose side of line you stand on, but let me be clear...I have not drawn a line. Nor will I ever. As far as I am concerned, we are all in this together. God's Kingdom, not my Kingdom or your Kingdom.

I miss it. I miss our Sunday school class. My bible study friends. The girl's friends. But obedience has to exceed desire. My fleshly desire would be to stay put in one place for the rest of our lives.

But God.

I was talking to a new friend of mine the other day on the phone. She was asking me about this church we have been visiting. She had very real questions to ask, ones that I was very willing to answer. And at the end of the conversation she said, "Maybe we should just try it out." I replied to her that she shouldn't. After all, she was very happy in her church home. She had felt God lead her there and their family was very comfortable where they were.

God has to call you to your church home.

And God doesn't just show up at one church every Sunday.

He will be clear when it's time to join, time to leave or time to just stay put.

But God.

Don't leave because it's what the crowd does. Don't join because it's what the crowd does. Don't go here or there because it's where your friends go. Don't judge because everyone else does. And I beg you...if you hear something that sounds way the truth for yourself.

As our new Pastor said at this week's service once again, "If they are gonna talk, let's give them something to talk about. But let's tell them what we are for, not what we are against."


I am for Jesus being lifted higher and higher in this city, nation and world!

I am for Community. It expands the area for us to love, love and love some more!

I am for the Lord turning my world upside down in order to get us where we need to be!

I am for a God who won't allow me to stay put and stuck in my old ways!

I am for a family that will sacrifice what we've always known to become something more!

As much as I've wanted this week's to quickly pass and the Lord to show us where He wanted us, I wouldn't have traded this time for ANYTHING. I've been miserable, I've been lonely, I've been sad and I have even been angry as to why God would uproot my family like this. BUT GOD...has set me free, put JOY in my life again and allowed me to stand FIRM on His word and given me a new HOPE.

And this is our new church, a new thing but the SAME God:


I am actually closing the comments on this post. Not because I don't care what you think or have to say but because I care so much more about what God thinks and says.

There is no such thing as a perfect church. But there is a perfect God and that is truly all that matters. And the phrase, "Home is where your heart is." Couldn't be more true. But may my heart never again only be in one place.