Thursday, October 30, 2008

Let's give each other a break.

Tonight I discovered a hidden truth in my heart.

I long to be understood.

Hope, my middle girly, she is so often misunderstood.

Maybe it's because she all to often just can't "get out" what she's trying to say. Maybe it's because her vocabulary is not extensive enough to express herself in the elaborate way she would like to. Or maybe it's because she's just not one I can understand?

For example:

"Mommy, you know that thing....That thing on top of that blue thing?...I..I need it...but I need you to get it down...because I'm not, you know.."

She expresses herself in a way that makes sense to her, but all to often no one else can figure out a thing that child is saying!

Have you ever felt that way?

Like you needed to justify an action, or give an explanation, or excuse yourself for this or that......all be "understood", but in fact no one could figure out what you were trying to say exactly.

Do you feel that way reading this post right now? =)

I once went through a situation where I felt like the other person was "overly" trying to justify their actions with their words. Knowing in my soul that what had happened was not right and that I wouldn't waver in my thinking, the words that fell from their mouth seemed almost...sickening.

Keeping the golden rule in the back of my mind always, "Do unto other's as you would want them to do unto you"...I justified my thinking that this person was indeed wrong and even went as far as to line it up with scripture.

However,

Tonight at bible study we began to look at two other characters in the Behind Those Eyes bible study:

Ms. Confidence and Ms. Happiness

Two of which I could painstakingly identify with. I won't go so far as to write out these characteristics in detail of my life, but trust me, they exist too. They sit right next to Ms. Perfection.

I have always been a very compassionate person, able to look through other's eyes and think what it's like to walk in their shoes....maybe because I've walked down a road where I have been judged, looked down upon and thought of as "Oh my goodness". I too have been misunderstood many times. But understanding why people do the things they do....sometimes this is difficult.

Because can't we all just get along?

In Ms. Perfection's world....no way! But in Ms. Happiness's world???

Maybe not either.

Why? Because Ms.Happiness doesn't like being around people who sink her boat!

I've learned one thing in this life I've lived so far....There's always an explanation. Always.

Whether it's one we want to hear or not...now that's another story!

Jealousy, Pride, Envy, Hate, Fear, Weakness, Loneliness, Sadness and even Rejection. Just a rambling off the top of my head list of explanations of why we act the way we do.

But the truth is.......all we really want is to be understood. By someone. Anyone!

And instead what we get is typically a snotty nosed judgement cast upon us.

Ms. Perfection, Ms. Confidence and Ms.Happiness......they are all to well known to walk down the road pridefully but sassy-like, proclaiming, "Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you." (all the while why waving their finger in your face too)

But if we could just for one moment....look behind someones eyes, and wonder what is really going on in there. Maybe we would have more compassion for others. Maybe we would really start to develop some deep relationships.

Maybe.....just maybe, we would actually start to become someone real.

I am so thankful that the Lord does not look at me with the same standards that I all to often look at other's with. I am so thankful that my God does show me that being vulnerable is scary, but also so rewarding. I am so thankful that I know I need God more than anything in this world, but that I also know that he has put me here to have relationships and to effect people, not to just be a bump on a log or a hermit.

Grace. It's a huge thing. And how amazing life will be if we will just sprinkle a little more of it around!

Oh my thoughts could go on and on about this. But I would love to hear from you. This blog, yes, it's about me being me, but I also love to hear how God speaks to you! Do you need to give someone a break?

I know I do......and they are three girly's who are fast asleep....but boy oh boy can they make some messes. =) (baby steps, Nicki, baby steps)

10 comments:

Jenny said...

You nailed it right on the head, grace. It just changes everything.

It's so easy to think I would never in a certain thing but you know what I've learned they may be thinking that about me in another area!

Have a great day,
Jen

Cindy said...

Well Girly,
You already read my thoughts on the issue and posted such sweet encouraging words on my blog ~ Thank you.

Grace is powerful!

Sharon Brumfield said...

God has been dealing with me about this lately in regards to my husband and girl. The screws are tightening and it is so easy to allow that discomfort to catapult me into a attitude that is not God like. As things are flying through the air I am at the same time thinking....how could I send this their way? How I need to give grace more often...giving them a break because love dwells in my heart instead of criticism.
God has been reminding me that the things that are so glaringly obvious and aggravating in the lives of someone else are usually sitting in my own lap. Ouch!
Good stuff girl.

The Patterson 5 said...

Grace so freely given to me by God yet so hard for me to give to others at times. Peace, Jesus requires I seek it, yet at times I feel vengenfull and want to see judgement given.

God calls us to clothe ourselves in compassion. Treat each other as better than ourselves.

I can not do this on my own. I can only do these things with the help of God. Full reliance on God.

The Patterson 5 said...

Hey, I thought of you today! My little girl had her friend over for a play date after school and I called them girlies!

Kay Martin said...

Being understood...yes, I like it but I longed for it too much for many years. Now I work on being sure my heart and motives line up with Jesus and the Bible.

In writing I have had the greatest difficulty in sensing that I wrote in "my voice" and that I was understood. I have spent most of this year working on my writing. This past week a close friend read a blog post and called me to tell me she saw a smooth, flowing clarity coming through my writing. She said she enjoyed reading my writing before, but now, she could easily understand what I was saying.

So, I am coming to look at others understanding me as being an inside work in me. Communicators teach us that the speaker is responsible for choosing words, body language, tone, etc. to express ourselves successfully. If we are misunderstood could it be that we need to look at us?

Marilyn in Mississippi said...

This was a great post. Deep! Really spoke to my heart! Thanks for sharing! Now if I can just put it into practice!

Marilyn

Pat said...

You have shared this challenge so beautifully using your daughter. I just pictured God watching our relationship stuff, our communication stuff and our strivings to be understood from the loving perspective of a Mom.
If we could just see one another through His eyes it would be so much easier.
Bless you!!

Sharon Brumfield said...

If you get a chance read my Saturday post...it might give you a different perspective on the things going on.

Louise said...

It is so amazing to me how God works, how He deals with us each individually in areas that we need to growth.
He is SO good.
I long to live a life of compassion for those around me and see people through the eyes of Christ.
Beautiful post!