We had a great weekend. We all headed up to Asheville to help my mom and dad "officially" get settled in their house. Their house is so pretty! I wish I would've brought my camera, next time for sure. We shopped, hung curtains and decorated our hearts away! It looks great!
That drive up and back can be a long one with three girly's in tow. They tend to drive me a bit up the walls in the car.
I can't imagine why!
Actually, to be honest, they've been driving me up the walls a lot lately.
Which leads me to this book:
Now, before you all gasp away and start dialing CPS, hear this momma out!
Yes, I get angry at my girls. Not like abusive angry, but it's happening more and more lately. And by golly, I NEEDED SOME HELP!!!!
When I go to do the laundry and find purses, markers and stuffed animals all "put away"
Attempting to go to Target for the GAZZILIONTH time and having to D-R-A-G a certain boo out of the store in her fits or rage on me because I won't buy her gum!
Wanting to crawl under the bleacher at a pep rally when a certain little boo decided that during PRAYER time SHE'S GONNA SCREAM. L-O-U-D. (*cue dragging child out scene again)
When a certain 7-year old rolls her eyes at your for like everything you say to her.
When a husband leaves his clothes all over the floor, shoes anywhere he feels like it and What? Says things like, "You didn't buy MILK??? What is wrong with you." But doesn't notice when you actually did your hair or put make-up on your face to oh just, STAY AT HOME ALL DAY.
When a 5-year old throws a fit because of the clothes you've picked out for her five minutes to walking out the door time.
You spend at least 30 minutes preparing a good healthy meal for your entire family and they all arrive at the table and gasp with "YUCKS".
When you "accidentally" read your daughter's journal while making her bed and it says things like, "I never want to be like my mom, she buys me the worst clothes ever." After you just spent over $100 on new school clothes.
YES. I've felt like, "I'm gonna blow!"
This was exactly the right book for me at this time. It just seems as though I have entered the stage of motherhood where drained, frazzled, overworked and under appreciated have begun to reign as signs over my forehead.
I mean, it's been pretty good up until this point. You know the pretty pleases, the yes m'ams, the smiles and waves from carline, the "mommy you are the best" and the endless pretty pictures and "just because flowers".
THEY HAVE ALL DISAPPEARED. And, at a shockingly fast rate!
And from what I've gathered, it only gets worse.
So, unless I intend on screaming myself blue in the face everyday at a bunch of faces who could care less, this girlfriend needs some help. Yes, I'm so not afraid to share my faults, many as they are.
But realizing that ever before turning to a book or some type of "self help" thing, I needed to turn to my God first.
I don't believe that this is how He intended mother's to feel. Or at least I hope this is not some other "offspring" punishment from Eve. (Wasn't the "labor pains" enough?!!)
So many times when I get myself all into a frazzled mess I start saying, "GOD PLEASE!!!!"
I kinda expect Him to just stop whatever He is doing and answer me, because after all, I said, "Please".
Boy oh Boy do I know how He feels!
Listen to this verse in Psalms 116:1-2:
"I love the Lord for he heard my voice, he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live."
But, here's what I've got to stop doing. Oh I know you are on the edge of your seat right now! =)
I've got to stop these little "But Pleases God" prayers. Mercy should be the word I boldly pray over my life each day and then taking the mercy and running with it!
I'm always going to mess up. I'm always going to need something answered. I'm always going to have something picking away under my skin!
But, do you see as well what that verse says? "Because he turned his ear to me" He is listening! And because He is listening, I need not get all "frazzled up".
Deep breaths. That is my step today. Just taking deep breaths of mercy every time this anger starts to boil up inside. Running in His mercy and grace, instead of frustration and being overwhelmed.
Well, I'd love to continue these thoughts but the boo just walked in and informed me that Cinderella's shoes have disappeared from her pull-up. For those of you not in potty training mode, that means she had an "opsy" in her pull-up! I love that instead of saying she's wet, she says, "Rellas shoes all gone mommy, dis not good." (deep breath, let's try this again)