Tuesday, September 02, 2008

No More "But Please's"

We had a great weekend. We all headed up to Asheville to help my mom and dad "officially" get settled in their house. Their house is so pretty! I wish I would've brought my camera, next time for sure. We shopped, hung curtains and decorated our hearts away! It looks great!


That drive up and back can be a long one with three girly's in tow. They tend to drive me a bit up the walls in the car.


I can't imagine why!


Actually, to be honest, they've been driving me up the walls a lot lately.


Which leads me to this book:





Now, before you all gasp away and start dialing CPS, hear this momma out!

Yes, I get angry at my girls. Not like abusive angry, but it's happening more and more lately. And by golly, I NEEDED SOME HELP!!!!

Like,

When I go to do the laundry and find purses, markers and stuffed animals all "put away"

or

Attempting to go to Target for the GAZZILIONTH time and having to D-R-A-G a certain boo out of the store in her fits or rage on me because I won't buy her gum!

or

Wanting to crawl under the bleacher at a pep rally when a certain little boo decided that during PRAYER time SHE'S GONNA SCREAM. L-O-U-D. (*cue dragging child out scene again)

or

When a certain 7-year old rolls her eyes at your for like everything you say to her.

or

When a husband leaves his clothes all over the floor, shoes anywhere he feels like it and What? Says things like, "You didn't buy MILK??? What is wrong with you." But doesn't notice when you actually did your hair or put make-up on your face to oh just, STAY AT HOME ALL DAY.

or

When a 5-year old throws a fit because of the clothes you've picked out for her five minutes to walking out the door time.

or

You spend at least 30 minutes preparing a good healthy meal for your entire family and they all arrive at the table and gasp with "YUCKS".

or

When you "accidentally" read your daughter's journal while making her bed and it says things like, "I never want to be like my mom, she buys me the worst clothes ever." After you just spent over $100 on new school clothes.

YES. I've felt like, "I'm gonna blow!"

This was exactly the right book for me at this time. It just seems as though I have entered the stage of motherhood where drained, frazzled, overworked and under appreciated have begun to reign as signs over my forehead.

I mean, it's been pretty good up until this point. You know the pretty pleases, the yes m'ams, the smiles and waves from carline, the "mommy you are the best" and the endless pretty pictures and "just because flowers".

THEY HAVE ALL DISAPPEARED. And, at a shockingly fast rate!

And from what I've gathered, it only gets worse.

So, unless I intend on screaming myself blue in the face everyday at a bunch of faces who could care less, this girlfriend needs some help. Yes, I'm so not afraid to share my faults, many as they are.

But realizing that ever before turning to a book or some type of "self help" thing, I needed to turn to my God first.

I don't believe that this is how He intended mother's to feel. Or at least I hope this is not some other "offspring" punishment from Eve. (Wasn't the "labor pains" enough?!!)

So many times when I get myself all into a frazzled mess I start saying, "GOD PLEASE!!!!"

I kinda expect Him to just stop whatever He is doing and answer me, because after all, I said, "Please".

Boy oh Boy do I know how He feels!

Listen to this verse in Psalms 116:1-2:

"I love the Lord for he heard my voice, he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live."

But, here's what I've got to stop doing. Oh I know you are on the edge of your seat right now! =)

I've got to stop these little "But Pleases God" prayers. Mercy should be the word I boldly pray over my life each day and then taking the mercy and running with it!

I'm always going to mess up. I'm always going to need something answered. I'm always going to have something picking away under my skin!

But, do you see as well what that verse says? "Because he turned his ear to me" He is listening! And because He is listening, I need not get all "frazzled up".

Deep breaths. That is my step today. Just taking deep breaths of mercy every time this anger starts to boil up inside. Running in His mercy and grace, instead of frustration and being overwhelmed.

Well, I'd love to continue these thoughts but the boo just walked in and informed me that Cinderella's shoes have disappeared from her pull-up. For those of you not in potty training mode, that means she had an "opsy" in her pull-up! I love that instead of saying she's wet, she says, "Rellas shoes all gone mommy, dis not good." (deep breath, let's try this again)


17 comments:

ValleyGirl said...

I choose to think things will get better. Like, the older they get, the better they'll get at processing their thoughts and thinking things through ~ and doing slightly more logical things.

At least that's what I'm praying for!

Joyful said...

Your post reminds me of a friend of mine who also was talking about the "frazzled" moments of motherhood. She found a verse in the Bible - Psalm 113:9 - that talks about being a "happy", "joyful" mother of children. She laughed as she shared that with me because some days can be so much less than joyful or happy!

You're doing a great job my friend...and as Alexander says in the book, "The terrible, horrible, no good very bad day" - "some days are just like that".

Blessings,
Joy

Van said...

I had such fun reading your post this AM. So REAL! You know - you just gotta lean into it, cuz you are right - you're in it for the long haul now. Yes, take a breath and smile. Look at the fun, don't take it too seriously. In no time you will be like me- empty nester and you want great memories to fill your house when they are gone. Love 'em, enjoy 'em, and grab naps so you don't let yourself get exhausted.

BTW- before making your grocery list let each family member design a menu. That way you pass the buck on food they don't like to eat!

On Purpose said...

Thank you for this post. This is a huge gift to all us mothers out here in blog land. We are reading this today, knowing we are "normal" and "real".

Sharon Brumfield said...

I so remember these young years....and yes, there are still points in your post that I deal with even now.
One day I will be able to see my children with their own children and then I will have the opportunity to remind them about "when". :)
Until then.....one day at a time. I remember that as He is changing me...He is also changing them.
I pray that what used to get me...maybe doesn't get me so much anymore. :)

Kay Martin said...

I'm not sure if you tired or wiser, but in time what made you want to blow just doesn't even make it onto the radar screen.

I can get ticked off, but it takes a lot to get me there. I found looking for the silliness of it all could get me to laugh on good days.

Try to see beyond the moment...I know easier said that done. But this too will pass...I promise.

Irritable Mother said...

Nicki,
I also read and loved She's Gonna Blow! Truly a gift.

Regarding the idea of getting past the moment, though, I have a different thought. I know it's true "This, too, shall pass," but I have realized I don't want to wish my kids' lives away. I don't want to miss today because I am longing so desperately for tomorrow. Know what I mean?
God is present in this moment and because of Him, I can have joy - even when this moment stinks.
Hang in there, sister, and keep seeking HIM.

The Ballinger Family said...

So been there...oh, yeah...I am still there. No-one ever told me that the bigger the kids get the bigger the 'things' get....sorry, I know that isn't very encouraging...I am just finding out myself. ;o} Amen-I am so glad God doesn't get frustrated with me like I too get sometimes. Great post by the way!

MelanieJoy said...

I don't have any kiddos of my own...and days like you mention I'm sometimes content I don't...just kidding! I do have a nephew and niece who live one on each side of the road. They fight like cats and dogs- spite the fact they love each other to pieces. I work with Autistic children and understand the days that your patience can be tested.
Hang in there Girl!

The Patterson 5 said...

This is a great book. I think I've read it three times (once for each child!) I've highlighted my most helpful sections and put in post it page markers! It is truly a life saver!

Amy L Brooke said...

You are always so funny. Things will get better. They will get older (though we will stay the same age) and they will appreciate their momma!

Jamie @ Purposeful Pursuit said...

Hang in there! My heart goes out to you...this motherhood gig certainly can be a tough one. I appreciate you sharing your heart.

Room for Grace said...

Yes, I think I started appreciating my mother around age 30, so I've only got to wait another 25 years or so.

I might have to check out that book, sounds like a good one.

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

Oh girl! Welcome to girl world. I just have to give myself timeouts sometimes. :)

The best thing I ever did was really give them over to God-realize they are His and He trusted me with them for only a short time. He trusts me to raise them up for Him. That helps my perspective. Also, it helps me seek Him out for what to do with certain situations.

Looks like a great book!
In the trenches with you girl!
Ang

My Army Brats and Me said...

Hey my girlfriend-

I can not thank you enough for your friendship. I have never been so scared. The comfort I feel the power of prayer is surronding me and it is pulling me through. Thank you
Love Cindy

I wished on Hope star that she feeling better everyday. Love to all.

Jenny said...

It will get better, I have 3 and right now I am back barely in the "cool" again. I'll fall out but for now I'm enjoying it.

One book that helped me was the power of a praying parent.

Jen

Speaking Thru Me Ministries said...

hey friend - just thinking about you today. wanted to stop by and say hello!! love, Leigh