Monday, May 12, 2008

In THIS world........will Jesus Be enough?

"And My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:19

Day by day, I struggle. I struggle between flesh and spirit. Some days I have victory, some days I do not. I cannot hold back my feelings anymore. Things have been so crazy in my mind lately and I realized yesterday that all the Lord has been saying to me is, "Will I be enough for you?"

Reading this or reading that, and wondering why my husband is the way he is sometimes. Getting frustrated with girls who don't listen. Wondering if anyone will buy this house. Wondering if we've made a big mistake financially in buying this house. Taking deep sighs knowing that tonight is weigh-in and I have failed miserably this week. Knowing that the She Speaks conference is just a few weeks away and I continue to ask myself "What are you doing?" Thinking of friends, the struggles they face, why some act the way they do.....

Plundering through my thoughts, it can be exhausting. =) But what the Lord has asked me is.......even in the midst of all uncertainty, not knowing what the future holds, where it will lead, will He be enough for me? Just His love, Just his salvation......I thought about the way I used that word......"just".

Hmm......doesn't seem very fitting for my God. He's not "just" my God.........He IS my God. He IS my hope. He IS my salvation. He IS my reason for getting out of bed every single morning. He IS my everything.

But let's be honest here......we all struggle with our hope's, our fear's, our failures, our struggle is constantly going to be between flesh and spirit. And if you don't struggle....well then, praise the Lord, but I do. I struggle a lot. It's not that my faith is weak, it's not that I don't spend time with Him, it's not that I don't trust in's that this world sends to many mixed signals through my soul....this world tells me that Jesus will never, EVER be "enough" for me. I see it in my girls, I see it in my husband, I see it in myself.

Although I would never consider us "frivolous" we don't give the girl's to much extra, and we learned the hard way about going into debt for "things" so we don't do that anymore......there is still a constant struggle.

Anything, and I mean ANYTHING we obsess over, it's called a strong-hold. And God is very serious about strong-hold's in my life. So much of the things we deal with is the fact we are in denial. We deny our obsessive thoughts, we turn them into "justifications", we may even think in our minds that we are not being obsessive. I think the only thing we should be obsessive about, is Scripture! It should be the only thing we are looking at a hundred times a day, thinking about constantly and looking for answers.

I can totally raise my hand and say, "Guilty!" for this with our house. I've been checking my cell phone constantly, keeping my e-mails pulled up all day, and sitting on the edge, EVERY time someone takes a brochure out from our box. I've been thinking constantly, "Ok....if I was a buyer, what wouldn't I like?" And I guess, I just don't like to not know the answer to things. I want the yes to be yes, and the no to be no. Have you been there with a situation in your life?

Not that I will be so upset or anything like that if God says "No". The only way we know to seek this answer out is to give it a try. It's just been a bit nerve wracking!!!

And I think so many can relate to this feeling. Waiting to hear back from a loved one about a difficult situation, waiting for a test result, waiting to find out something from a teacher about a child, waiting to see how a friend is during a difficult time..... Waiting, Waiting, Waiting.....will Jesus be enough during that wait?

Will "waiting" be another shackle on my feet or will it be another hope of victory yet peace in the stillness?

I don't know about you........but I want the victory! I want the dance of joy! I want the peace and hope knowing that whatever happens, HE is in control!

I leave you with one last thought from my God calling book this morning. It says this, "So deep is your friendship and so great your desire to love and follow and serve Me that soon, when this time of difficulty is over, to be alone together will always mean to be shut in with me."............Oh what a sweet, sweet thought! To be "shut in" with Him!! What a true friend we have in Jesus! He is all we need!

Jesus will surely be enough for me.

Have a blessed day!

1 comment:

Sharon Brumfield said...

Do I know about the whole thought life.
Mom gave me a copy of the sermon from her church was on Worry.
How will this happen, when will that happen, am I doing what I should be doing, am I being naive, am I over stepping things in the Spirit.....
I want to be victorious!
I want to see the end.
I do thank the one who is in control.
I want to see the glory of the Lord in the land of the living!