The edge of disobedience

Living on the Edge.........what does that mean to you? Does it mean pushing your limits daily with yourself, other's and God? Does it mean taking big risks? Does it mean doing things that other's would never dream of in confidence? or does it mean disobedience?

This morning, I've found myself back in Exodus chapter 4. I have to tell you, I again, am not thrilled to be studying this, because it requires A LOT of thinking at 6am!! =) But, I know that God has led me to study the life of Moses. Why? Not sure, but none the less, here I go!

Now, I have seen a lot from Moses' life so far. He was a very stubborn, angry, disobedient man. But, I cannot help but think, "Lord, what was it that you choose him?? What quality did he have that made him so different? So set apart?" And no, I did not find my answer this morning!! =)

What I saw from Moses was more disobedience!! While the Lord is speaking to Moses through the burning bush, they play the "I'm not qualified game" and "let me see how many excuses I can come up with".... AGAIN. So here is where Moses' brother Aaron, enters. Apparently he is "good with words" and can help Moses through his speech problems. God will allow Aaron to tag along to speak, where Moses cannot.

So the Lord tells Moses to throw his staff down and watch what happens. He does and it turns into a snake. I found out that Pharaoh used to wear a cobra on his headdress as a symbol of his sovereignty. So, it makes perfect sense that the Lord choose to allow his staff to turn into a snake....."don't question me!"....... A few nights ago I had a very disturbing dream about snakes. Snakes were everywhere, big ones. And it was a really scary dream. But, it was funny because as soon as I read that.....I realized, maybe God was trying to tell me something. I have had many doubts in my mind the past few months. But, God's sovereignty is real. He is who he is because He says He is. There is no if, and or but's about it! And like Moses, maybe you have felt this way to......we continually have excuse after excuse for our disobedience. In our fears, like Moses', we find disobedience.

Now, this is what I found absolutely amazing.......FIVE TIMES Moses gives the Lord and excuse, a "fear".....and after the fifth time, the Lord loses his patience with him!! I can totally understand!! It's like someone you know who repeatedly says, "I know I'm in disobedience to the Lord...." and does nothing to change it. They say it, they recognize it and never do anything to change!!! Don't you just want to grab that person and shake them after SO long???

And then........oh yes......and then God said, "Oh Nicki.......what about YOUR disobedience?" What about the mountains we continue to go around and around? Time after time? I can relate to Moses, I can understand........but I saw this through this eyes of God this morning. And I can assure you, He does not delight in our continual disobedience to Him. He is very, very patient, forgiving and loving, YES, totally.........but, He will only tolerate it for so long.

In fact, as I read further down.......the Lord was SO FED UP with him, that He was ready to kill him due to the fact that he had not circumcised his child! Thankfully, God showed him some grace through his wife, Zipporah, in that she recognized that God was NOT A HAPPY man and did it herself! And I thought, "But Lord......you just went through ALL of that with him, called Him according to your purpose, set him apart.......and then you were just going to kill him because of one act of disobedience???" And God said, "Yes Nicki.....I take obedience very seriously."

So what do I take from this? When God calls you to his works.......He sets you apart........He will give you what you need when you need it. He will work and move through all of our inadequacies....He will bless and He will guide. We do not need to question, question and live on the edge of disobedience through our fears.

Ok, well off to start this day....much to chew on throughout it!! Whew.....I pray that you have a very blessed day and a great start to your week!!

Not living on the edge today,
~Nicki