Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Making my husband a hero

My mind is filled with so many thoughts and prayers this morning. It's been hard to focus on just one thing. Last night I was blessed to lead our women in our Sunday school class through a night of prayer for our husband's. We discussed how we can "Husband-Proof" our homes. Making my home a safe and calm place, emotionally and spiritually, has become of the up most importance to me. You see, three girly's pretty much equals chaos 24/7. Someone always needs something, is unhappy with something or just generally wants to complain about SOMETHING. I know sometimes after I've been gone for a night out or even just to run errands, I don't want to come home!! So, you can imagine that for Kris, HE feels this way too!!

But, besides decorating and keeping the house clean and cooking dinner, there is so much more I can do!!! This isn't something that comes naturally for me. I really have to watch myself BIG time. My mouth can get me in some trouble!! And don't get me wrong, I don't believe that God wants us to be door mats, but we do have to learn to just "shut it up" sometimes.

I think about the ways that I have persuaded Kris the WRONG ways. Buying cars that we HAD TO HAVE, moving to a house that WE HAD TO MOVE TO, buying things for the girls because they HAD TO HAVE THEM, doing this or that because we HAD to. Surrendering to my husband is just not something that comes naturally for me. I'm so serious in this confession. But over the last few years, especially the last two years, God has been speaking to me about this BIG TIME. You ways, they don't always fly so well. I've got these "visions", I've got a messed up perception sometimes and I've got it all "figured out" on paper.

Two years ago, after my Kennedy was born, I truly began to see God changing who I was as a person, a wife and a mother. I began to re-think so much of the direction my life was going and the hole I was digging my marriage into. I would justify so much and my reasons were good ones. But when God asked me to step out on SUBMIT.......whooooo weeeee....that is when the battle began for me. Kris and I were divided like never before, friendships I were in came to an abrupt end, the "things" I was involved in changed drastically, my time watching HGTV came to a BIG STOP........all of the sudden, God called me, and I heard. And for the first time in years, I obeyed. What a concept!

My home all of the sudden had all these "danger zones".........finances, trust, responsibility, roles reversed and attitudes that needed some adjustments!! But then GOD, drew me closer to Him. He stripped it all away, slowly and I was left alone for a good bit of time. Just me and Him. As I was preparing for this prayer time last night, the enemy showed up big time. He reminded me of all that I had failed at........all that I was still struggling with. Who are you? Is what he told me. But I did something, as soon as those thoughts began to flood my mind, I stopped and said NO MORE.

You see, I will never be perfect, I will always have faults. My faults are MANY even today.....and I'm sure they will stay that way. But, surrendering to the Lord, with my whole heart, has been a journey. One that has not and is not always fun. Many days I tell myself, "You've got to be kidding me, this is never going to be." I read other blogs and I quickly see that more and more women are stepping it up in their lives......and it starts to intimidate me, tear me down. Because it seems on the surface......they sure got it together! But don't we all not really "have it together?"

Although God is not nearly done with me........nor will He be until He calls me home. I know that through a serious time of refinement and stripping away.....God has still called me His own precious child. He has given me gifts and talents as He has you. We are all so unique and special in His eyes, we are all called "His Own." What a sweet SWEET thought. So as I press on in making my husband feel like the hero of our home.....I know it will be tough. It was tough last night as the momma inside me wanted to JUST FIX IT. But sometimes we just gotta let things go........and the same with my relationship with God......although I do not understand they why's of some things I have been through.......I just gotta let it go.

So I leave you on this cold, dreary morning outside, with a warmth that will fill your soul............

Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house but with her own hands the FOOLISH one tears hers down."


Heather said...

Thanks for your comment. He is starting to understand more and more about God, but I don't think he is there yet. I also don't let him drink much more than water and milk and when he does have juice it's apple and it's mostly water. I just wanted them to love water more than anything else and so far they have! Part of me think it is a way to get out of doing something ... although it never works. It is his way to try and get out of going to bed or cleaning up. However, they seem worse at night than the day time. Though they are there during the day as well. We will see. I'm praying in his room more and more. I have the power of a praying parent that I pray often so I just need to be more consistent about doing it in his room and not mine. He recently moved to his own room too so that could have something to do with it. he is no longer in a room with Pace. Though they will be again in May :)

I hear you on this post ... I have everything figured out on Paper as well and in my head. Things are done out of necessity. Especially our last year ... moving to a new state for a job that we lost 8 weeks after getting here ... crazy story. Our year was a little rough but it is getting back to normal. It is hard to not want to FIX everything. I like you try to step back ... though it is hard! :)

Sorry for the long comment!

Sharon said...

I am with you here girl. For so many years I had to be in control in certain areas where my husband would no stand up or carry his weight. Some of those areas are still there-but God is teaching me to hold my tongue and just pray.
I love Keith and I want Him to be the man of God that God wants--not the man that I think I want.
I am still learning.
Good post. Keep putting it our there. These thoughts are sound and real. Women of God need to know these things.

JenB said...

How awesome that your class did that and that you led it!
Prayer retreat starts tomorrow. Don't forget to pray for those ladies---what a time they are in for, right?! Let's go back!

Nicki said...

Hey Jennifer!! How are you girl?? My SOUL has longed for Apple Hill all day today....just something about knowing what those ladies are in for...makes you jealous in a GOOD way!!! =) I'm praying big time for them!!! I so want to go back next year!!

Kim said...

Taylor looked so pretty this morning - I tried to take her picture several times but she was paying attention so well....she wouldn't look at me. I will send you what I have.

This was an excellent post!

freetofly said...

Such good wisdom from a young woman! Would that I knew at your age what you know already! Don't be deterred! Continue no matter! One of my Pastors (she leads our women) found out a few years back that to submit means to duck...and it really impacted her, and has me, too. Bc a lot of times when we step in & help things along, we are interfering btwn them & God (i.e. if we duck, God can get to them better - its just how we both pictured it)...we deprive them of the opportunity to do or not do, do and fail, do and succeed, but all these experiences teach them! & when we get in there, it is lost...this I tell myself when I think "I would do thus & such" instead I put the time to use, reminding the devil he has no place In Jesus name, and asking God for more wisdom and favor for my husband in all that he does, & a listening, teachable heart, & boldness...only the very last few years have I become aggressive in this area, but it does bring great results! Now, if I could just put a seal over my mouth! :)

great post, Nicki!

Shari said...

I hear what you're saying. There are many times that I need to just "shut it up". Some of my comments to my husband can really mess things up.