God's gentle touch

Psalm 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you."

The counsel of the Lord is a precious thing. Oh so many times I dive into something and THEN start to pray about it. But lately my true heart's prayer has been "Lord YOU show me what it is and then YOU lead." And He is doing it, very clearly, very slowly it's almost like He's taking caution steps with me!!! =) There are oh so many days when I truly feel like the calling on my life just needs to disappear. Like, "who am I to lead anyone into anything?"But then, just when I'm ready to give up, He will give me just what I need to press on.

I'm just a girl........just a wife, just a mom, just a friend, just a neighbor, just an every day person. There is no unique or outstanding gift (like singing) that the Lord has given me. There is no outstanding amounts of knowledge of scripture, there is no one in my family who is a preacher or famous speaker. I am just ME. Just a woman, perhaps like you, longing for the will of God upon her life. Longing for the day when I will stand before Him face to face. I'm just a woman desperately seeking the Heart Of God, no matter how mysterious it is and how many struggles I must go through to find it.

God has spoken to me through someone. I am excited, I can't wait to see where this new journey in my life leads to. But it makes me sad, because just on Sunday night, I was ready to give up. I felt the feelings of failure, dispair and hurt. I accepted the fact that God was never going to use me and I was unworthy of His plans for me. Oh how the enemy had a time with me Sunday night. But I truly always love the grace, just GRACE that God gives me each and every day. I laugh when I see Kennedy do things like the picture below.....because as upset as I tried to be, I know that through her these girl's are God's grace to me each day, in little things like that, reminding me of the love and forgiveness my Father shows me each day.

Sometimes I think of God as being so busy, as mom's we can relate to that, just not enough time to listen and care for the littlest wounds.......but then just as our children are like OK I GIVE UP, we turn our attention to them, we know what they need and we just do it. If Taylor or Hope come to me bleeding, I don't think, HMMM wonder what I should do! No, I simply get a band aid and clean up their wound. In the same way the Lord cleaned a wound of mine on Monday morning, but thankfully He doesn't put band aids on me, he HEALS me with a TOUCH. He knows just what to do and WHEN to do it.

But each day we are faced with the chance, faced with opportunities to be Christ to someone, somewhere. A smile could be the simplest way for God to touch someone through us. Sometimes it's bigger things, like taking a meal to someone, caring for someones children or the elderly, praying earnestly for a hurting heart, sending a card or e-mail just to say, "I'm thinking of you." I think for me, the biggest thing I struggle with is when I attempt to "touch someone" and get no response back. UGH, that's yucky in my life. It's not about me, or my attempts, it's about Christ and what HE has done for them. And that makes me think of how many times the Lord has touched me and gotten no response back.

"Nicki, did you see the beautiful sunrise I gave you today? Did you feel the whisper of the wind upon your body? Did you see the way I gave that person to love you? Do you see that I've provided for you and your family? Do you see the way I've taken care of this situation? Did you see the way I just protected you from harm? Nicki.....do you see me?" Oh sweet Lord, sometimes I don't see you and I'm truly TRULY sorry. Lord, your touches are all around me, your life is all around me. I feel you, I love you, I'm yours Father. God I pray that today you will use me to be a gentle touch to someone...even if it is right here in my own home. Father, I claim this verse today in my life, I pray for you to instruct me and watch over me all day long. Guide me into your perfect ways, guide me into your loving arms. Give me the ability to see and feel your gentle touches all day long.

Walking Lord, living Lord, by Faith........not by sight,
~Nicki