Friday, June 01, 2007

And so we wait......

We found a house would be perfect! But, I'm a little concerned b/c I went to go look it up in the MLS system this morning and it's not listed anymore.....not sure why it would be like that. I'm so trying not to get frustrated or upset about anything...and I'm not, I just was getting excited and now I'm like what's up with this? It could be several things. We are meeting with our lender this afternoon to get everything in order and to do the application. So hopefully if everything goes well we should be able to make an offer soon. I have this attitude that if that is our house God has already signed on the dotted line.....everything else will fall into place!

Yesterday afternoon, I thought I was going to have a mini break down! Things are just very stressful here at my mom's. My brother is leaving on Sunday for a treatment place in Seattle. It's just so hard b/c I can see the girl's getting on his nerves and I feel like I have to keep them away from him and then when my parents get home they are stressed out.....and that's the worst time of day in our family. I was just craving my own home again. I am very grateful to my parents for letting us stay here and save up, but it's REALLY hard. It's hard enough being a mom to three little girls during summer break.....and then being a mom who has to keep her girls away from everyone! But hopefully be then end of this month we will be signing our lives away again!! =)

So this morning, I'm a little down.....I'm a little frustrated and I'm just a little tired. But I rest my soul in God's promises that He is here for me. I was telling Kris, I have failed this test.....miserably. And I hate that. I mean, I have learned to be content and I will be ok in a smaller house, so that was victorious, but I feel like my emotions are still so dependent on the situation I'm facing that day. Some people who read this blog might think, This girl has nothing to be upset about.....but the truth is, maybe I don't but, I don't write every detail of my life and my family's struggles on here. There are a very few select people who know what is going on with my brother and I will keep it that way for his privacy. But trust me when I say, this is a very frustrating situation with three little girls running around and listening to every conversation, who sense every bit of tension and who desperately NEED TO KNOW everything! =)

I draw myself to this passage in 2 Corinthians 6:1-2. "As God's fellow workers, we urge you not to receive God's grace in vain. For he says, In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you. I tell you now is the time of God's favor now is the day of salvation." Oh my sweet Lord, I do not do any of this in vain........I receive your grace only for you today. I pray Father that I will find favor in you today. You have helped me, you have saved have raised me up to climb up mountains I never thought possible. I know that this is a big mountain I am climbing and there are many, many rocks falling on my head.....trying to knock me down. But I stand firm on your promises to me......I stand firm on your sweet presence in my life. I stand firm that you are going to bless us for our obedience and I stand firm that I will trust in you at ALL times. Even when life doesn't make much sense, even when I think I've turned the next page.........even when all I can do is be still in your presence. I am still.........and I know that you are God, and I am not..........I am still and I praise you that I am not in control of anything right now........I am still........I am still. You have searched my heart oh God and you know when I have failed......oh Lord you know, but yet you still Love ME. Why Lord? You are so Holy and so good, and I just stand in awe of you in this not so fun season of my life.....because you love me.......At the cross Lord, I the cross I sit and just soak you in and love you Father. Be near to me today Father, please Lord, be near..... Nothing can separate me from you Lord, oh nothing can, and I just have to sit and dwell in that today. You WILL make a way through all of this. I love you Father. It is done.........


Kim said...

I know that you are are human...and cramped in a smaller space - which doesn't take long to push up to the edge....we love our space, don't we? It is also hard to return back home because emotionally we revert back to when we lived there -

Trust me, I am in an ill mood because I am driving to my parents today. I am just getting older and I want to be at my home as much as possible. (I will be 40 on Monday)I know I should be thankful that I have healthy parents and I am, but I just despise the drive in the heat. I will get over it when I am sitting at Mama's table tonight:) and I will be glad that I went.

SO glad that Taylor is enjoying the Summer Bridge book - she is a little teacher in the making! Thanks for reading my blog - Sam was much more interested in how the baby gets out rather than how it physically gets there - I know that question is coming too. I just want him to stay as innocent as long as possible. Tell Taylor that Sam, Jenica and Caroline are in her class next year - I love Mrs. Martin. She is a great teacher!

Nicki said...

Oh Taylor IS SO EXCITED that Jenica is in her class! I'm glad that Sam with be in there too, we'll have much to chat about! =)I am very excited to get to know Mrs.Martin....I've heard many wonderful things about her! Have a great time at your mom's...I understand where you're coming from TRUST ME.

Qtpies7 said...

That is the neatest thing ever! I have never come across someone with the name Hope-Anne spelled any way at all, lol. I thought I made it up all on my own!

I could comment on lots and lots of your posts, but I've got to get dressed at some point today.
God will direct you to the right house at the right time. I never felt God leading me to a home, my husband picked out the two we've purchased and I did not like either one, but I followed his lead and they were great! But God did lead me to a rental one time when we were living with my parents after a move, and I'm ever so grateful because I would never have looked in that town had I not been desperate to get out of my parent's home. I prayed and it showed up!
We spent a lot of time at the library to keep out of the way. Thankfully it was only a few months for us. My friend was going to live with her in laws for 3 weeks between house closings, and ended up without a home for 1 1/2 years! She even got pregnant and had a baby before she got a home.

How old is your HopeAnn? Mine is 10. She was shocked to hear someone else has her name, but I'm not sure she likes it, she liked having her very own made-up name.

Nicki said...

That's so funny because I thought I made it up too!!! =) We call her many things though.....Hope, Hopie, HopeAnn.....she is you can tell your daughter she had it first!! =) Thanks for your encouragement!

Sharon said...

One day at a time.
I heard someone this morning talking about the blessings of the Lord.The fact is that when God gives us something no one can take it away....unless we give it to them.
We are blessed by God in many ways.
God has a house for you and me out there. No one can take that house. God has marked it as ours. If he directs our paths, then he has also set up where we will lay our heads.
So when that urgent feeling starts to rise in our stomachs--and we feel like we need to know and do something, we need to remember be still and know He is in control. He will never say, oops-- I missed that!
I speak these words to remind myself--- no one can steal my blessing. And if the things He has planned for me are above and beyond what I can even imagine----I will love what He has waiting for me. Pssst---you will too!
Just think of the lesson you will have to use when you teach on the other side of this mountain.
The teacher has taught---now He is silent-----keep a quiet spirit so that you can concentrate on what He taught you. Remember there is never any failing with God-----HE just marks our test with REDO! We are never known as failures because we have the promise that we can do all things through Christ.
And that will preach!

Beth said...

Nicki, I really don't know you well, but I so enjoy reading your blog. It takes me back in time to when I had 3 girly-girlz and how much fun (and work!) it was. I had an ADHD boy stuck in the middle of those girls too. I just want to encourage you. I know that you are in the middle of trying times, whatever they may be. But you full well know that God is right with you in those times. I'm encouraged to read that you are still clinging to the cross in your circumstances. I know that these times will make you stronger and are the tools that God is using to mold you into the woman He wants you to be. Please know that I will keep you in my prayers. I don't have to know all that is going on, God already does. I'll just lift you up before Him.

Lucy said...

Girl, I hear you. We've been in the restaurant business for 18 years, but we may be getting ready to lose it. Business has dropped off tremendously since the gas prices have gotten so crazy. All of our "groceries" come in on a big truck out of Charlotte. Of course, the disributor's gas costs get passed right along to us. We're doing all we can to keep our heads above water.

We're also in the process of trying to sell our 32 acres and double-wide so that we can pay off all our bills and buy a house on a lot less acreage. I get so frustrated wondering when it's going to sell and wondering what's going to happen with our restaurant. I just keep reminding myself that God is not the least bit frustrated. He already knows exactly how this is going to work out and He's always on time. He's never let me down before and I don't suspect that He will this time.

Keep us up on what's going on with your house hunting. I'll be checking back.

Blessings on ya!!!