three girly girls

No title required ;)

2009-11-11T07:29:00.004-05:00

Today is Veteran's day. I'm so thankful to live in a country where we celebrate the ones who have stepped out in service, risking their lives and sacrificed so much to keep our country what it is. So if you are a Veteran, I thank you for what you do!

It's a little odd having a day off in the middle of the week but my girls sure weren't disappointed when I picked them up from school yesterday. ;) I had high hopes for the day to include sleeping in and lot's of closet cleaning but I guess the Kennyboo missed the memo on no waking up before 7am. {she happens to miss a lot}

So we shall attempt the closet cleaning here shortly. And I'm sure it will not be without drama.

I've been trucking along with my re-vamped book proposal and two chapters for submission over the past few weeks. But I have to be honest, it's been a little overwhelming. No, I don't have a time crunch or anything like that but I also don't want time to get past me, as it has been.

I have to admit that I feel way in over my head and never knew what a treacherous task writing a good book proposal was. The one I put together for She Speaks, it wasn't very good. And I worked hard on it, but this is a learning process and I am thankful for the agent I spoke to that is willing to guide me through it.

But I love to write. It's becoming a pure addiction! When my fingers get flowing with my words it's like I'm dancing on a keyboard and the thrill is unbelievable. I lay my head down at night and think of quotes, titles of chapters and unique ways to describe something. Throughout the day I feel like I'm constantly trying to put thoughts into real practical words.

And there is nothing more awesome than to be up until the wee hours of the night when all is quiet and getting lost in those words for hours.

I think the biggest battle as a new writer is discovering my own style. In this market, there are hundred's of books out there, possibly even thousands of women who can write, good writing isn't what it's even about anymore.

Even though perfection is not attainable, it's good to know that and put your strength into the God who is perfect! I have also gleaned from other's that much of this process is about discipline and time management. I cannot just write when I feel like it, because if I did that, it would be once a week when I get "inspired". But I also cannot neglect the rest of my life through this process either.

The affair with the laptop is a REAL battle. ;)

So I am thankful for this blog, that gives me permission to write as I please. It doesn't have to all make perfect sense and I don't have to spend hours on one sentence. :)I don't have to have a clever title and I can ..... as much as I want and :) :) :) as much as my heart pleases and I can !!!! or ???? and not think twice about it.

Ok, thank you blog-land for the break but well closet drama awaits. And I know you are so excited for me. {wink}

Much Love,
Nicki

And then she turned....7.

2009-11-09T07:29:00.005-05:00

I heart this girly very much. I mean, I heart all of my girly's and I know there is like some secret mommy law that you cannot have favorites....and I DO NOT...BUT...if I had to have a favorite personality of all of the people in my crew, it would be this one's....HopeAnn.

Yesterday she dawned on a new era of her life, that of a 7-year-old. Time is flying by, and I try to treasure each and every day with these girls...but sometimes I just wish they could freeze and be this sweet...forever.

Hope is just one of those people who make life better for everyone. She is such a great helper and a super thoughtful person. She sees a need before it arises and steps up to see what she can do to help. She has a tender heart and will melt at the drop of one mean look but she is a warrior for her God.

Hope is a worshiper. She is constantly singing and bringing life into this home of ours. I wouldn't be surprised to see Hope on a stage one day singing for Jesus....she loves Him and shows it through her songs.

Popularity comes easy to her because of her kindness to everyone. She always has a funny story to tell me of who is the new BFF this week. But if you ask her who her BFF is, she will say everyone.

Being the middle child is rough, especially in world that seems to never stop revolving around one certain said child in our home. {Ahem...} But she does her best to speak her mind and stand up for what is right.

So Hopie, you keep shinning like a star and rock out this world for Jesus. You are an amazing girl and we love you so much! Happy 7th Birthday Sweet HopeAnn!

Love,

Your Crew

Krakatau

2009-11-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

Did that title make you do a double take? Maybe?

Krakatau.

That is the word that changed my direction this week. You see, in the midst of everything that has been going on, I have felt a little less than adequate for much lately.

Teaching a bible study this week on geting rid of the noise and clutter in life was the last place I had any business being. In fact, I should have been locked up in my room with some M&M's and a Lifetime movie. Truly.

Because life just seems to be full of noise and clutter lately. Things, situations and frustrations that keep me from getting to the voice of God. Things get so loud, so chaotic and so crazy that sometimes I wish I could plug my ears, stick out my tongue and say, "NA NA NA NA". Seriously. Much like this six-year old of mine does.

But, have you ever wondered what the loudest sound in the world was?

Was it an airplane taking off? Was it a rocket going into outer space? Some crazy kids on electric guitar blasted on full? Or even the deafening pitch of the Kennyboos screams? {for sure}

Thanks to Mr.Google man, I was able to determine what the loudest noise this earth has ever experienced.

Krakatau. (click to discover the awesomeness yourself)

And through that silly name....God changed my heart through that word in a way that I never expected. For me, Krakatau shaped an image to the lengths that God will go to grab this heart of mine. When He speaks it's loud, it shakes and it moves in a massive way. One that I nor anyone else can argue or say isn't so. It will spread wide and it will be clear that it is Him.

So as I laid in my bathtub the other night in the midst of a melt-down, God said, "Well, are you gonna call out for it?" And I said, "Call out for what?" I'm quite sure He rolled His mighty eyes at me and said, "Your Krakatua."

"My Krakatau?"

"Yes, ask for it."

So I did. My tears shifted to a chuckle as I prayed for God to send me my Krakatau. I needed to hear from Him, I needed Him to rescue me and make me believe that He was still a mighty and powerful God.

10 minutes after I prayed that prayer, God sent me my Krakatau in the form of a phone call. One that gave me a deep breath of relief, fresh air and hope that God was watching and in control.

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them...." -Psalm 34:13

When the whispers of unbelief start to rise to a shout, when the noise and clutter of life become a tool for the accuser to use, the King will rise and take His place and will send us a Krakatau.

Guest Barista

2009-11-04T06:06:00.002-05:00

Hey Friends!

I'm over here today http://www.internetcafedevotions.com/ I'd love for you to check it out. What an awesome website these ladies have put together and there's lot of encouragement so check them out.

Be back tomorrow.

Much love,
Nicki

Confessions of a slacker momma

2009-11-02T21:03:00.004-05:00

Truth be told....the camera phone is getting a lot more hits these days than oh say the ACTUAL camera.

Sorry. ;)

I'm a slacker.

So check this super girl out! Whoo hooo! Mommy let her get all wild this year with red hair dye and all. {Oh sweet Jesus only let her want to do such things on un-goldy holidays of the sorts}

And you saw the boo in the previous post.....so this one is old news....but is she ever old news? I mean....really.

And check out that cool girl who's a twister game! And again, the slacker momma who didn't take a picture of just.....her. She sure does have red and green hair!

And look who else decided to join in all the fun? Yup.....didn't you KNOW I was married to a surgeon?? Oh yes....I must've left that tiny detail out. {wink} Ahem.....surgeons...electricians...all the same. Messing with dangerous stuff.

Lest you think I didn't join in all the fun....you are very wrong. There is just no proof. ;) I was a construction worker...hard hat and all. Which happen to come in very handy when the rain came pouring down.

We had a great time trick or treating in our new neighborhood and had a chance to meet lot's of new friends.

It was a lot of fun....even if the boo turned out to be a trick or treater drop-out after about five houses. The rain was just to much for her. Oh well....maybe next year. :)

How was your trick or treats?

Fall Fun/Updates

2009-10-29T12:13:00.009-04:00

Ok so check out this boo all decked out in her Halloween gear:

It's a shame she's got so much cuteness mixed in all that sassyness. :)

And do you know what these little yummy balls of gooieness bring?

YUMMY!! We love Carmel Apples! :) One of my favorite things about fall for sure.

So, although this would make just a really fun fall post, I wanted to update you on somethings.

First, my mom had her first round of chemo yesterday. I was really bummed I couldn't go up there to be with her then but the girl's had lot's going on with school and we had parent/teacher conferences today. But they are out of school tomorrow too so we are heading up there to try and get somethings done for her and just be there.

Please continue to pray for her through this journey I know she appreciates it.

Also, I had the nerve-wracking but amazing opportunity to talk with an agent that I was referred to from the She Speaks conference. She was awesome. But, I've got a lot of work to do in which I will do everything she has suggested because she's got a lot of knowledge. She seems so helpful but very straight to the point...which is good. So I've been busy, busy trying to re-work the proposal to a way that fits a better style.

On another note, I've also been talking with a lady locally about doing a teen retreat for some girls in the area. I never thought the Lord would lead me to this avenue but I am walking through this door with Him leading every step of the way. I'm excited though, it's all very new and so interesting but I've been calling out to some other's for some help.

Since we are dawning on the pre-teen years but not quite there yet, I've been asking for some mom's of teen girls to fill out a survey for me if they are willing and interested. I've gotten a huge response so far but would love more so if you are willing and able and have a teen girl please leave me a comment with your e-mail and I will get the survey to you. I would appreciate it it sooo much!

Bible study is going really good! We've had a great crowd each week and the Lord has been moving in hearts big time. I've loved listening to these awesome women share their journey with me and enjoy our time together sooo much. I care deeply for them and I hope they are having as much fun as I am! :)

We are still looking and praying for our feet to land in a church home. I think the Lord is leading us closer but we are being very patient and listening very closely. I have become a professional church visitor in the process and probably could write a book just about that. {wink} But I have seen that so much of this isn't about me right now....it's more about my kids and my husband. I have found that I could really go anywhere, I mean that, I could.

Ok so this is the longest post ever, and I'm sorry. I just don't want you to think I'm neglecting this blog....which I am but.....well you know. :)

I'll try to do better. Come back for pics from trick or treats and the sorts. ;)

But I'd love to know what your favorite fall activity is? And don't forget if your a teen mom and can help a sista out I'd appreciate it.

Much love,
Nicki

When the Flu met the Boo.

2009-10-25T21:09:00.001-04:00

A few days ago a certain someone came a knocking on the door of our home.

Mr. Flu.

And it just so happened that the first person to greet the unwanted guest was the Boo. Of course.

At first she was whiny with a cough and then she was whiny and sleepy. And then when she was whiny with a fever, we had to make a visit her most favorite person, The Doctor.

Do you know what drama comes with such person in the boo's life?

Sweet Mercy.

But thankfully we were in and out of that appointment as quickly as she said, "Just a spoon full of sugar with some Motrin and extra love is all you need Ms.Boo."

The doctor left her with some very specific instructions to wash her hands good and to not sneeze or cough on anyone. Because these were some FIERCE germs she had and we wouldn't want anyone else to get sick would we? We all shook our heads in total agreement.

Because three-year-olds fully comprehend the concept of little tiny germ bugs flying through the air and making a new home on someone else's immune system. {wink}

So for most of the day she was heart-breaking....she was...really. I mean, I just hate having complete silence and a child who will do nothing but lay on the couch all-day-long. {wink}

But around 2pm that day, which just so happens to be the time of day when it's time to pick the sissy's up from school, Mr.Flu started to leave this boo of mine. Her color came back, her fever left and she was willing to eat Popsicles again, so we were quite pleased with the progress.

But, Mr.Flu left quite an impression on this here Kennedy. In fact so much so that she convinced herself that the flu had not left her yet. Or she began to realize that the only productivity involved with the flu included watching Noggin and slurping Popsicles and that just seemed awfully nice to her. {grin}

However, nothing could have prepared me for the greatest effect that the flu had on this child.

Nothing.

The fact was, she began to realize that with her strict instructions from the doctor to not cough or sneeze on anyone because she could spread the germs...she could in fact become like...a weapon.

Oh yes, and a fierce one at that.

In her itty-bitty-reduced-fever mind, she quickly conceived the fact that if her sisters did not give her the purple crayon the second she wanted it....she could ..."a-choo" on them. And if her mommy did not give her a chocolate Popsicle, even if there was none to be found in the entire freezer....she could cough on her. And possibly, if you looked at her the wrong way....she could lick you.

Because she......had the.....flu.

The dangerous, fast-spreading and watchful.....flu. And she was QUITE aware of how to pass that sucker onto someone else. Don't cha know?

And for an entire 24 hours she attempted to summon us all with her threats. Until this here momma had quite enough. In which I then shooed her little-sneaky-sassy-hiney outside and engulfed her head with the knowledge of fresh air.....which kills all germs. AHEM.

So....Dear Mr.Flu Bug, I beg you to not return to this home of mine. And if you do, please stop by and visit the other people's in this house. Because they will not abuse the authority in which you greatly pass along. They will simply do their time on the couch with soup and sleep and go about their business.

Thank.You.Very.Much.

Sincerely,
Your latest victim's momma

The inner struggle.

2009-10-21T18:22:00.003-04:00

Call the blogger record books, Nicki is posting three days in a row. ;)

Wow....I must have a lot to say these days. Or my husband is just working long hours and this blog seems to be my only ounce of sanity I can find in between the dreaded hours between dinner and bed-time with these girlys. One-sided conversations always lead to sanity right? {wink}

Today was week three of the bible study I've been leading here at my home.

And I must say, I had a tough time with this week. Why? Because unfortunately with a bible study called "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?"...there's talk of beauty, and body image and all those wonderful peachy things. {can you hear the sighs?}

It's frustrating for me. It is. Because so many times I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see.

My whole life I've been the "cute" girl. Never the beauty queen (NEVER) and never the girl that had that whole "I have my image thing" down. Image approval is a struggle.

It is.

But what I'm coming to find more that I struggle with is the approval of man. But not even the approval of man itself but God's approval THROUGH "man". (side-bar....you do know that when I say "man" I mean all woman or man? K? K.)

Does that make a bit of sense?

Sometimes I feel like we know that God gives us His mark of approval no matter what but yet...we still struggle to find the mark of approval in all mankind. Whether it's a spouse, a boss, a friend, a mentor or a pastor....sometimes we just want someone to notice us and make us feel like what we do is good.

But, I'm convinced by living this out, I have the ability to make or break my life in Christ.

In fact, one of my most convicting verses of scripture that I have ever faced is this on:

"Do you think I speak this strongly in order to manipulate crowds? Or curry favor with God? Or get popular applause? If my goal was popularity, I wouldn't bother being Christ's slave."
-Galatians 1:10

It's a strong verse. It is.

But my conviction is stronger. Especially today.

May that inner struggle fade as I press through the screams of unbelief that I find in this world. May I continue to die to who I want to please and who I want to think highly of me and who I am friends with and realize that my goal is being a slave to....Him.

Pressing on through it all....
~Nicki

If it's news...it's news!

2009-10-20T19:49:00.002-04:00

Tonight my oldest daughter Taylor (who BTW, I really wish I would have named TaylorAnn...it would just fit her so well) showed me her pride and joy....the family newsletter.

Have you heard of nine year-olds doing such things? Um...ya, this is what happens when you take the cable away.

Anyway, she was quite thrilled with all the latest happenings around our house. Because didn't you know that this is the most exciting place to live.......ever? {ha} At any moment you might catch a little breaking news happening around the home front.

Like.....today's headlines could have been and should have read something like, "Girly War X On Horizon". And it quite possibly could have been loud enough to shoo some geese out of our yard....just possibly.

But instead the breaking news on Taylor's lovely newsletter included just the regular stuff like whose birthday is next, who has what activities coming up, how much money everyone owes everyone and oh yes...a little thing called the "Annual Taylor Vote". (don't know exactly what this is all about but this child is surely to become some politician with all the voting we have going on up in this house)

Mercy.

However, there is some news on this mind of mine that I feel like I must share with some of my favorite people.

I'm going to do it.

What you ask?

I'm going to finish writing the book.

Why?

I know you want to know...

Well, there's a big reason and one that has given me a mist of hope. But, I don't want to get into all the details right now because I'm still not sure of all the details but I know that my next step is to finish the book. Nothing is a guarantee but...what is anymore?

So for the next few months I will slowly but surely click cluck this thing out. I will hash through the chapters and get it all done somehow, someway.

And the title......."The Unlikely Prom Queen"......the message? "Be The Unlikely Candidate".

You like? I hope so.

I'm excited, I'm WAY nervous and feel very unlikely (ha ha) but I know that through Christ everything is possible.

So, it's news. And news.....is news. ;)

A new thing?

2009-10-19T07:00:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I hear people say, "I just know God's doing a new thing in me."

I always thought, "Oh that's nice. Yay God." {wink}

But, the past few weeks I have felt just like that....that's He's been doing a new thing but...WHAT?...I don't know and How?.....I don't know and...Why?......I don't know that either.

Regardless, it's a new thing.

But here's the thing...sometimes I think, WE THINK, a NEW THING is a fun, exciting, rockin out time. For me? It's not been so much fun.

As I'm typing this post, my middle one, HopeAnn, just came in and asked me if we can put on a Veggie Tale's movie about Joshua and the wall around Jericho. {side-bar: Can I just tell you how upset I will be when my kids grow out of veggie tale movies? Because I will have a really hard time remembering these vital bible stories without all these silly songs.}

Of course, her timing is perfect.

I am watching a celery stick speak to my heart in more ways than one. She (the celery stick) is singing the worst quality of singing I have ever heard in my life, but words that are piercing through me.

"His plans may not make sense to us but He has the best in mind."

So as I'm stepping foreword into some new things, I have some butterflies in this heart of mine. Because it's an un-known territory. One that I don't think I have any business being on. But ones that I know only God could have placed in front of me.

I am having to let go of a lot of things right now...a lot. But I also realize that as I let go of those things God is going to be able to fill that space up in my heart. He will.

This past week, I finally heard back from one of the publisher's/agent I met with at She Speaks this summer. When I saw that e-mail pop into my in box I think the whole world stopped spinning because I have been waiting so long to hear from them.

It wasn't what I hoped for but it wasn't bad either. The agent, is just swamped right now and I totally can see that. So she has referred me on to one of her co-worker's. And that means that I shall now start this process all over again. But....at least we are making some progress. Even not the news I want is still progress.

And no...I don't plan on giving that dream up. I believe with all of my heart that God has a plan for that message He put on my heart and the world of publishing is harder to break through than anything I've ever seen. And I mean EVER.

One of the recommendations I got this year at the She Speaks conference was to put a website together that I can send to ministry leaders of who I am. This is a super hard step because I am not one for self-promotion...at all. But...I do see the very wise woman's point who gave me this advice.

So over the past few weeks I've been trying to rack my non-techy brains to put something together. And because I don't want to spend any money on this until it's necessary, wordpress.com is my new bestie. ;)

I'd love for you all to check it out the new site:

www.nicholekoziarz.wordpress.com

It doesn't have fancy pictures, or graphics galore...it's just a simple site for a simple girl. It's a new thing but still the same girl. Also, if you are trying to get out there as an author/speaker wordpress is an excellent free site for you to use! And ps-this is blog will still be where I blog. ;)

So today, I'm not waiting...I'm not anxious...I'm just moving foreword with a new thing. I promise to be back up blogging more and getting back to some of your sites. Thanks for your support, your love but mostly for your continued prayers....they mean everything.

Much love,

Nicki :)

2009-10-12T07:33:00.003-04:00

Hey there friends.....

I know I've done this before but I'm going to take a little (or long) bloggy break and facebook break.

No really big reasons other than the Lord is just asking me to give it up right now. I need to hear from Him and this computer seems to be my number one distraction and way to check out.

I did want to post today to let you know that the Live, Laugh, Love retreat has been cancelled. There was a mistake in our registration at Fort Casswell and if you have already registered I apologize and please know that your funds will be coming back to you this week.

It was heart-breaking to have to make that decision but I do know and realize that God's timing is always right and this just must have not been the right timing.

I love you all and if you need me please e-mail me at knkoziarz@aol.com.

Much Love,
Nicki

The Jesus Fraud

2009-10-08T07:47:00.004-04:00

Have you ever met someone that you greatly admired and then found out that they are not really who you think they are?

Me too.

Although I don't like to use this blog as my soap-box or anything that brings wonder and discouragement to people, this is something that's really been bothering me lately.

But is it really their problem or is it my problem?

I'm thinking it's mine.

But, I'm also thinking this is something you can identify with. Which is the goal of this heart of mine, to identify with you through the writing on here.

Sometimes I wonder what makes people tick. Is it power? Is it control? Is it pride? Is it arrogance? Or is it that they are not who they think they are?

Think about that for a second......"they are not who they think they are."

I could go about my entire life thinking that I am a natural blonde. I can pay major dollars to have these roots of mine tweaked to perfection to make me look the part. I can even act like a blonde (cuz blondes have more fun don't cha know...{smiles}) but in reality.....I am not a blonde.

In fact, I am a brunette.

I think that sometimes we think that to be real means we do a real good job at being fake.

And I do realize that there could be someone reading this blog right now who found out that I was not who they thought I was.....and, I'm ok with that.

Because lately I have really come to understand what it means to say "Jesus, I want you to change me from the inside out......."

Unfortunately, it's just not the outside-in deal that the Father is looking for. In order for their to be a real change in our lives it has to happen from the inside out. The DEEP place from the inside. The place where no one goes. The place where our thoughts stray and our minds wander....that's the inside I'm talking about.

It's taking every thought captive. Every emotion captive. And every desire captive. Grabbing hold of it before it takes over us and the rest of our lives.

But you know what I'm really coming to understand?

It's ok if we come to realize that we are not who we think we are.

In fact, I think it's a beautiful thing.

Because when we stop trying to be who we think we are and surrounding ourselves with who Jesus really is.....that's when change will happen. That's when victory will come. That's when hope is brought to full surface. And that's when His glory will shine through us.

See...God.....He's just not into a world filled with a bunch of frauds for Jesus.

He's not.

Really, in the book of Romans 12:15-17, He puts into words what He cry's out for in our lives:

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

I love the part that says, "as far as it depends on you". Because, in this life......that is all we can do....is depend upon ourselves to not be frauds for Jesus. There will always be someone in this world making a fool of HIS name....but for the sake of the kingdom, let it not be us.

Let it not be us.

It's so much better.

2009-10-02T07:35:00.002-04:00

A few months ago Kris's mom had the opportunity to go on a mission trip to Guatemala. And while this was an exciting event and we were all praying for her and excited to see what God would do in her life unfortunately nothing would excite the Kennyboo more than the goodies she would bring back to her.

Because in three-year-old whimsy world it's all about the goodies....right? {wink}

The rest of us were rejoicing about the houses they built, the bellies that they fed and the gospel that they brought to the country...but the boo....she was just BESIDE herself over a....tree swing that the grandma brought back.

So last week since the daddy has been awfully busy lately, I took it upon my short self to try to get this tree swing hung somewhere in the yard. Quite frankly I was sick to death of hearing a certain child ask me day in and day out about that swing.

But it was all out of love.

Well, it turns out when you are short and tree branches are high and you don't have things like....rope.....hanging a tree swing can turn out to be quite difficult.

As I looked into my boo's big blue eyes that were filled with much sadness over the fact that we were going to have to wait (gasp!) until the daddy had time to hang such things. Because momma....just isn't qualified to be hanging tree swings.

This made her little heart so sad but she agreed after much dismay that I was not indeed qualified to hang such things.

So she called her daddy on the phone and said something to the sorts of, "Daddy. You bring the rope and I hold the ladder cuz mommy....she can't do this." And he knew exactly what she was saying. ;)

And the daddy said that he would do his best to get the rope home and work on it if he had time.

Well, time is a short thing for this daddy of hers and he tends to have a mind that wanders to other things other than buying rope for a swing. But the boo....she can't comprehend that. Because didn't you know that the whole entire universe is at her service?

So for many days now we have waited, and reminded daddy about this rope and waited and waited to see if he could find some time to do it.

And about 7:30 last night, the boo had enough of the waiting process. So she demanded her daddy on the phone STAT. As I dialed his number I knew this was going to be some conversation.

"Daddy. Um.......hello.......I've been waiting SOOOO long for that rope!! Pwease bring it home!"

Maybe.....just maybe there was a "NOW", thrown on the end of that. Maybe.

The daddy felt awfully bad that he hadn't followed through and was seeing how stinkin important this swing was to his baby girl, so he did was every good dad does who is pulling into the driveway when such phone calls are made. He turned around and went to the Home Depot.

And when that daddy got home you would've thought that Santa Clause had just stopped by! There was MUCH excitement about the......rope. "Daddy! GO hang it RIGHT NOW!!! YAY!!! Do this now daddy, come on!!"

Even though it was virtually time to read "Goodnight Moon" at this point, I knew we just had to go out and watch daddy hang the much anticipated Tree Swing.

So we did.

It was grand. SO grand. As the boo pushed her squishy little hiney up onto that swing there was a look of much satisfaction upon her face.

MUCH SATISFACTION.

This morning I was thinking about something I've been praying for, for a long time now. Something that seems like the Lord has heard me but keeps getting side-tracked by other things. And even though I know that's not true....I still feel much like this three-year old does at times.

Waiting STINKS.

But just like there could be nothing to replace that excitement in that little girl's eyes when her dream of the Tree Swing finally came true......I know the moment the Lord sends my answer I will feel much of the same excitement.

And just as the Kennyboo dreamed for days about what it would be like to finally get herself into that swing....I love to dream of what might be one day too.

So whatever you are waiting on and aren't we all waiting on something....it's going to be so much better when it's God's time rather than ours. Excitement will fill our eyes, will have a little extra umph in our step and it will seem like the world can continue spinning. :) But we do have to wait.....so in the meantime......I think I'll go and dream a little.

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word, I put my hope." ~Psalm 130:5-6

Beautiful.

2009-09-30T15:41:00.004-04:00

I don't tend to be much of a season snob but...Hello Fall...you have won my heart. ;)

I am sitting outside watching my three girls endlessly drive around this yard in their hot pink barbie jeep and I just can't think about anything else than what a beautiful day this is.

And this beautiful day started off with a beautiful morning with some beautiful ladies in a beautiful bible study called, "Do You Think I'm Beautiful?". (How's that for a repetitive sentence.)

Can I share a chamber of my heart with you for a second?

I feel like I have taken a breath of fresh air today for the first time in months. As I opened up my Do You Think I'm Beautiful book the other day, I was reminded of this beautiful concept that the Lord developed in my heart the first time I did this bible study.

Dancing. With Him.

Because it's such a freeing place. It's a place where only He is and the worries and cares of this world all seem to fade away when I go to that place.

A place of Hope, of Happiness, of Joy and a place that holds a future.

I haven't known what my future will hold in quite awhile. Just when I thought I had A,B and C worked out the Lord threw out a major curve ball. And I've been sad, frustrated and in the process of waiting....lot's of waiting.

But for today...I've got my dancing shoes back on. And for today...I will find the beauty of this world. And for today....I will trust that He's got every detail all worked out and all I've got to do is....dance.

ancient power.

2009-09-29T07:25:00.002-04:00

My stomach has some butterflies in it this morning.

After a long, trying and discouraging four months I am so happy to share with you that tomorrow morning I will be starting a new bible study here in my home.

For those of you who have been with me for any amount of time, you would tend to know that bible study is really a passion of mine.

I believe amazing things happen when we stop or "normal" routine and come together in expectation through the study of His word. I have seen lives changed, marriages made whole and people step away from the walls of their life and become all that God intends for them to be through prayer and bible study.

And I have seen in my own life, the steps of obedience I've taken through a bible study or a character or virtue that has been strengthened. Or how my eyes are opened in a fresh new way through a study.

It's something!

So as excitement floods my mind in the hopes of what the Lord will do over the next few weeks our group will meet, I also have some very real feelings of inadequacy coming on.

I feel a bit rusty and this won't be like the studies I have taught in the past. It's different, it's a new surrounding and it's not coming along with the cushions of video sessions I am used to.

But that's ok.

As I've called out for God's anointing on this group, I've come across two words that struck me hard.

"Ancient Power."

No matter who I was a year ago or who I am today or who I will be tomorrow....my God is still the same. No matter where I lead a bible study, what study we do or who will come...my God is still the same. No matter how rusty I feel, how inadequate I feel or how unworthy I feel...my God is still the same.

His Ancient Power never wavers, never changes and never ends. He is still God. And I am still not. {wink}

And then....I read this verse:

"Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there."~ 1 Corinthians 7:17

That is exactly what I want to do in my life today. Live it to the fullest, obey at all costs and love extremely and believe.....oh that's such a huge word, "believe".....that this is where His power is still something amazing.

If you are one of the women coming tomorrow, please know that I am praying for you and I just know that God is going to show off in your life these next few weeks! I can't wait to see what He does!!

Check back tomorrow night and I will hopefully have an update posted. And ps-if you are in the Charlotte area and would like to come we still have a few more spots...childcare is full but if you are kid-free and would like to come please e-mail me at: knkoziarz@aol.com .

Be blessed today,
~Nicki

And...that's a wrap!

2009-09-27T14:47:00.002-04:00

This is about to be quite possibly the most disorganized post you have ever laid eyes on. Aren't you so excited. ;)

Ok, let's wrap this coupon thing up....although I'm not totally sure it's worth it since so many of you are already experts on this...but again it's just for a few of my facebook peeps.

So...

Let's talk about triples first.

Triple coupons is when the store will triple a coupon up to .99! I have never seen it beyond .99 for triples but if you have please share cuz I'd love to gawk for a moment. :) Normally a store will only let you triple 20 coupons per day.

Now...I feel as though I have to get on my soap box for a second....

If the store says 20 q's per day....I think you should stick to that. There are several reasons. 1. I've heard that they are now tracing your debit cards as well as your store cards. So it would be quite embarrassing to be "caught" abusing the system.

This last round of triples I did, I really did obey the rules. I went once a day and only used 20 q's. And you know what? I did just as good, if not better, had I gone four or five times in one day.

The second reason is simply because it's the policy. And as Christians (or not) I think it's important to stick to policy's. Fight them if you want to change the policy but don't break it.

Double q's the same thing.......

Super Doubles......this is when the store will double a coupon up to 1.99! Now this CAN be great but you have to watch it because sometimes the deals aren't as great as triples.

A good rule of thumb is to always match your q's up with sale items. And remember just because a sign says 2/4...doesn't mean you HAVE to buy 2. Or if it's BOGO, doesn't mean you HAVE to get 2. This is how I get a lot of my items for free.

The best website I have found is www.hotcouponworld.com . These women on this site are SERIOUS about saving money! Their passion is contagious! :) So if you log on and go under forums you will find a section called grocery stores. Find your grocery store and check that thread frequently. I check mine just about every other day....sometimes several times a day if we are in the midst of triples!

People will post different deals that they have learned about and it's a good way to stay on top of the latest happenings with your store.

I try to always have a "plan" before I head to the store. That way I don't spend hours there and I have everything figured out before I go.

Ok, ya'll....that's all with the q's. No one really had any questions or comments so unless someone does, that's a wrap for this.

I've got lot's of other things on my heart this week and I need to get back into the writing in my soul.

Hope this has helped someone. Thanks for sticking with me. See you tomorrow! :)

Hello, I'm a slacker.

2009-09-24T07:28:00.002-04:00

Hey friends....ok so I haven't finished my series as promised. Sorry.

Life has been running full on today and I just haven't been able to focus this week. Sorry.

But please forgive me and we'll be besties again next week Ok. Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

But, Please wish this sweet girly a happy 9th birthday today!

Let's talk about Moolah Day 2

2009-09-18T07:00:00.001-04:00

Today I first want to talk about where and how is the best way to get coupons. When I first started this about three years ago, I would get them just from the Sunday paper and steal the ones from my parent's paper. {smiles} Then I got into printing them online...which I soon found out uses lot's of ink which turns out to be kinda costly.

But recently I have discovered a couple of things that have really helped me. Number one, and in my opinion the best option is, Ebay.

For several reasons....you can buy specifically the only q's that you need, you can buy lot's from all over the country which is fabulous because different area's get different coupons. And the final reason is because it's really the most cost effective way to buy them....IF you get good ones. Be sure to always check the expiration dates and feedback on the sellers.

There is another site that I recommend called: TheCouponClippers.com . This is a great website too but I do find that the prices can add up very quickly...so only get what you need.

There are other websites out there but none that I have looked closely into. But feel free to share in the comments if you have a site that you like.

For printable websites, there's tons.

Here are a few of my favorites:

http://www.smartsource.com/

http://www.couponmom.com/

http://www.printcoupon.com/

You will find that most of these sites have the same coupons and you can only print them so many times before it blocks you.

BUT...I recently discovered that sometimes if you go on a grocery store that is not anywhere near you...like in another state or city....on their website they will sometimes have coupons that are not out there in other places. For example...my mom lives in Asheville and Ingles is her store there. So sure enough, I went on the Ingles website and they had lot's of coupons I hadn't seen elsewhere!

Sometimes it's hit or miss....but get creative with ways to find q's elsewhere. They are out there, they just have to be found.

Also, always be on the lookout at grocery stores for blinkies and tear pads as well as coupons ON the products.

The way that I first started keep my q's was in an envelope. I didn't have very many but then I built up to one of those accordion folder types that you can buy at the dollar store. That worked for awhile but then my friend Amy told me about how much better the q's work in baseball card holders that can go into a binder! Boy was she right!

This is a picture of my binder. I had to be cute with mine...but you don't have too, it just makes it more fun for me! :)

This is the back of my binder where I keep all the store q's that I find:

This is how I organize my q's. (Sorry for the lack of quality with the pics..I was just using my camera phone)

Now I will say that it does take more time to put organize them in the binder, but it saves me a TON of time at the grocery store. And I always and I mean ALWAYS have my binder with me in the car. That way if I run into a store to grab something, I have my binder with me in case I spot a deal! :)

I actually found that business card holders worked just as good as baseball card holders and they are cheaper. But...it's all about preference.

I've seen some women use big zip lock bags or just in a bundle in their hands. Whatever works for you do it! :)

Ok, so looks like this post is getting a little long.....I guess we'll have to make a day 3 on this. :)

Come back on Monday and we will look at the art of using the coupon at the best time...best deal...ect...I will also share some more of my favorite websites out there. The best times to get products the cheapest and some more of the tips I've learned over the past two years. We will also look at triple coupons and super double coupons!

Again, for all you experts out there this info is not new! I realize that. I just wanted to help some of the newbies to get going.

So if you couponer already why don't you share how you keep your q's together? What works best for you, what doesn't work for you? Share away!

If you are just getting started here is a great video to check out with binders that you can buy. Check it out for ideas on how to get your binder or order one from them! It's pretty cool.

Love ya'll!

Let's talk about moolah.

2009-09-17T06:56:00.002-04:00

While I do NOT profess to be some coupon-crazed-money-savin-knock-em-out-momma....I do like to save some money here and there.

First, the disclaimer:

I am not expert.

I am not obsessed with this.

I do not know all the secrets, deals and scoop on everything.

NOR....do I get all of my groceries for free, go to five different stores a week or anything of the sorts.

Ok. :)

I'm just a regular woman like you. (Just as a side-note, I don't know if there are any men other than my dad who occasionally reads this here blog, but if you do, don't take offense to the referring of the women and the sorts... :)

But a few of my new face book friends have requested a blog on this topic so how could I let them down? {wink}

This year I actually have a few speaking engagements that the leaders of the groups have asked for this topic so this blog will be a good place to start, get feed-back and help me know what women want to know about this.

Coupons. Money. Spending it and using them.

Just as a little background on me, this is a woman who once had no value of the dollar bill. I will be honest. I would bounce checks, overdraft my account and spend money like it meant nothing to me...just being real here.

But....when you suddenly become a wife, a momma to not one, not two but three little expensive divas and they start to actually eat like REAL FOOD, ALL THE TIME and want this and that...it causes you to look at things a little closer.

That....and conviction. ;)

Conviction is a beautiful thing....isn't it? My husband is nodding his head.

So I thought today I would start with the basics since so many want to know just how to get started.

First though, let me share something. About 7 years ago Kris and I were going through one of the hardest times in our lives....a time where we lost a lot....including our home...yes....it's true....We had just gone through a job loss, a little girl having a major surgery (Taylor), Kris being in the hospital sick with Chron's Disease and a job lay-off. The medical bills were over $30,000 that WE owed.....yes, you read that right.

And let me say...this is not easy to write on this blog....because 90% of you don't leave comments....ahem. ;) so I don't always know who my readers are....But, that's ok.....I know that God is asking me to share this story and although it's painful and many judgements will be placed, it's what happened....and that's that.

If I can encourage, love and support just one other person....that is always my goal. So it's worth it to be vulnerable if it helps someone.

Anyway, we went through a bible study called "Crown Financial" at our church at the time.

In this group we learned lot's about money but the Lord was dealing with some deeper issues than just money with Kris and I. We had to learn to trust Him through everything...painful and not painful....it was all God's.

One of the first verses we ever learned in this study was this one 1 Chronicles 29:11:

"Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all."

Taylor was about two at the time and she would listen to Kris and I memorize these scriptures together and at that amazingly young age she came up with this song to go with that scripture:

"Every thing's Gods.....Every thing's Gods......Everything God's....oh Every thing's God's."

And aren't you so sad that you don't get to hear me sing that song to you?? :)

But that silly song has stuck with me FOREVER and a year now. And as I get stressed out, I get into a panic mode or I wonder what we are going to do...that song will pop in my heart...always.

So I am in constant reminder that through the plenty and through the want....it's all God's. None of this is mine nor will it ever be. Where we live, what we drive, the clothes we wear, the food we eat and the hair dye that gets put on my roots {wink}....it's all God's.

Ok, so onto to what I would like to accomplish through this blog over the next few days. The main topic of interest is these coupons....and what to do with them....how to use them...when to use them.

But there has to be a deeper heart issue than just wanting to save money. It's obedience.

Because here's what I see.....

I hear lot's of women say this, "I just don't have time for that."

Or, "I just do not understand how it works."

And even, "Can you really save that much money?"

I'm going to be kinda blunt for just a second...I tend to have the same attitude towards exercise....I don't like to do....It takes up too much time....and I just don't understand how to get going in the right direction all the time. But...when I don't exercise and when I don't take care of my body...I'm in disobedience...and one day...there will be consequences for it if I don't change.

I feel the same way about money.

When our eyes are opened in a new way and we have that knowledge...we need to use it. Just like with exercise it takes time, energy and a good attitude to do it and do it well....it's the same with coupons. You have to get into a routine, you have to develop your style (yes, there's all types of styles out there) and you have to want to use what the Lord has given you in an outstanding way!

There's a wealth of knowledge out there and I don't claim to have it all. But I'm always looking for a good deal but not to the point of obsession...just enough. You know??

So today....let's start with some terms that you will need to know as you get started. Again...this is not going to be an in depth blog series....just the basics.

First,

Q's= Coupons. I don't know who came up with that...but that's what they are!

BOGO= I heart this term very much BUY ONE GET ONE

Blinkie= These are q's that you find at the stores that are in the machines that pop out

Tear Pad= These are q's that you will find in the stores on a tear pad next to the product typically

Catalina= These are the q's that come out at the register after you pay...with your receipt. Can I tell you how many times I would throw those away before??? AHHHH. Sometimes they are the best deals!

Rebate=This is something you will mail in like a UPC label with a receipt to get money back

Red Plum= This is a coupon circular that comes out weekly

Smart Source= Another q circular

Printable= This is a q you can print off a website (we'll get to more of that later)

Now for those of you who want to go deeper {winks} here is the link to a website I use all the time called hotcouponworld.com and it's a link of ALL the lingo that's out there: CLICK HERE. And if I missed a term for the basics please feel free to leave it in the comments! :)

So that's all for today. If you have some time try to get familiar with these abbreviations and lingo. It will help you a LOT as you get started.

Come back tomorrow for another post as we start to talk about the where to find q's,...and we'll start to look at when and where to use these q's. And other exciting stuff.

Ok? :)

Hope you enjoy these posts! I'd love to hear from you if you have questions, ideas or input into these next few posts.

Have a great day!

In the meantime.

2009-09-15T11:00:00.000-04:00

So...I need to be honest for a second....I have had a hard time fully embracing this gig as stay at home mom. It's very hard when you are used to go, go, go and then it's like BOOM....it all has stopped. But I am slowly finding new things to get involved in but it's been a process.

Yes, I love having a clean home and being caught up on laundry.

Sure I'm way more excited about triple coupons than I have ever been because I will actually have the time to go and do it the right way. ;)

And I'm enjoying little projects here and there around the house. I do keep myself busy but there has been a part of me that has felt very empty lately.

Not having a new church home yet, living in a new neighborhood, the girls in a new school, a lot of old relationships changed, and still not hearing a WORD on that book proposal...it's hard. I'm not even going to fluff that up. When you feel so strongly that God opened the door up for something and yet you are still waiting for Him to say, "Now you may walk through this door.", it's a rough road some days.

I have really felt like I'm in a "in the meantime" land.

Is that even a real phrase or did I totally just make that up?

However, one of my favorite parts of my new gig as full time stay at home mom has been the mornings. Last year, I was always so rushed to get everyone up and dressed, lunches made and myself ready to go since I was working. It was utter chaos, every morning!

But this year, the mornings are really awesome. And I have come to look foreword to my time with just Taylor and Hope before they leave for school. We talk, we pray and we always read a devotion or passage of scripture. It's a great time for them to become prepared for the battle field in which they will walk through all day long.

This morning the girls and I were in 1 Kings chapter 3. We were reading about King Solomon and perhaps a time where he might have even felt like he was in a "in the meantime" land too.

Solomon was foolish in his marriages, had a lustful heart and was very materialistic. He was all that and more, there's no mistaking that.

But he had a heart that sought God's wisdom...always. In fact, his one request over and over to the Lord was that He would give him wisdom to understand his mind.

WOW...what a prayer that is, "Lord please help me to understand why this mind of mine can go a thousand different directions at one second!" Well...let's be honest, he was a man so it was probably only about five things at once...and that would be a stretch. {wink}

In fact in chapter 3 of 1 Kings, Solomon is crying out to the Lord, "...But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties.....So give your servant a discerning heart..."

Now....I tend to think that Solomon DID know how to carry out his duties. I mean, he had been at his gig for quite some time now. And things were happening....he married Pharaoh's daughter, he was building a palace, and Solomon was the king of sacrificing....mercy, was he sacrificing.

Obedience was happening. And obedience exceeds the blessing. Right?

So why was he asking God to do this?

I personally think it was because he felt a little like I do right now....in the middle of "in the meantime" land. Things were happening, prayers were being answered but there was still that something missing. Solomon was still seeking God on many things and in order to understand any of it, he needed wisdom.

And do you know what God did?

He gave it to him. Over and over and over.

And then He blessed him, over and over and over. But towards the end of Solomon's life, he didn't have this same heart. That's a whole different post. {sighs}

It makes me think of Psalms 145:18-19, "The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them."

So I know there could be perhaps just one other person who feels like I do right now...in the midst of "in the meantime". And may I always remember that this is a great place to be because it's the dawn of something new but it's the rise of total obedience to want to have wisdom in my heart.

There's a time, a place and a season for everything....and although I'm not crazy about the season of "in the meantime", I will embrace it and run through it, as hard as I can. So, instead of praying for this or that to happen...I am praying that He will make me wise in this season, so that when the choices come, I will know exactly what to do.

Pressing on through "in the meantime" today,
~Nicki

Some will never get it.

2009-09-10T00:00:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling a bit "inspired" at the moment.

Perhaps it's because I just got off a phone call that had a very intense conversation going on. You know the kind where you seem to go in circles and no matter what you say the other person just won't see it? Ya, it was one of those.

I hate conversations like that because number one, I dislike anything that involves conflict. I mean, I avoid it at ALL costs. Which isn't always a good thing because it means I'm a little rough in the how to handle conflict area.

But reason number two is that normally, as is the case now, I leave the conversation feeling worse than if maybe I just would have left it alone.

It would be really easy to slip into a pit of self-pity at the moment. And have you been to the pit of self lately?

It's not all that fabulous. {wink}

But I feel inspired because this past Sunday we had the opportunity to visit a new church in Charlotte called THRiVE. I had heard awesome things about this church and was anxious to check it out. And as the Lord would see fit, the truth behind this past week's sermon was that some people.....they just don't get it.

And can I confess something?

For a long time and I mean a L-O-N-G time....I didn't get it.

I mean I was one that believed there was one way and only one way. Occasionally I have allowed myself to see what God has done in other areas of ministry and service but...I still wouldn't get it....totally.

It's kinda like a person who has never been on a mission trip to a foreign country. You can show them pictures, tell them fabulous stories and even give them numbers of how many people were affected by your trip...but unless that person goes themselves....they just don't get it.

Or it's like someone who has only shopped at the Wal-mart their whole lives....you can tell them about the Target and all it's fancy ways with icees in the food court and all. You can show them the cute shoes you got there and even tell them about the incredible deals you can get with coupons! {smiles}

But....unless they go....they just don't get it.

Lately, I've been sincerely asking the Lord to make me get it, in all ways. To open my eyes to the things unseen and to believe without a written script behind it.

And He has.

But sometimes I still feel a bit like the rich young ruler{minus the rich part}. In Luke 18:18-30 Jesus confronts this man who just doesn't seem to get it. The man wants to know what it takes to get into heaven and through a series of questions the Lord leads him to the truth...you must follow me.

And even after he has all the knowledge anyone needs...he has yet to experience Jesus so he therefore walks away.

I do that. I get all the knowledge and make the assumption....without the experience.

And I am being proven wrong, over and over and over.

And that's ok.

He keeps us humble because it keeps us low. When we start get prideful and think our way is the best way we might start to put ourselves up a little too high. And when we are way up high....it takes a long time to get back to where He wants us...our knees.

Had that rich young ruler taken the time to really see what Jesus was all about, to soak up His goodness and to dwell in the grace that Jesus brings us....he would have gotten it. But his pride, his arrogance and his love of the world kept him from the amazing salvation found in Christ.

So Lord Jesus, continue to keep me low because that is where I will grow.

Keep me weak because it helps me to seek.

And help me to get it...so that other's may benefit.

Without Love, it's nothing..

2009-09-08T06:51:00.002-04:00

I am so happy to be back up and on a schedule this morning. I love switching things up a little but I have missed my regular blogging and hope to get back on track this week!

I just wanted to update you on a few things since a couple of you have asked. I haven't heard anything back from either the publisher or agent I met with at the She Speaks conference. I will be sure to let you know if I do and what they say. It's not in my timing, it's in His and I trust that He will work all things out when it's time. :)

The Live, Laugh, Love Retreat is still on and ready for you to register! Sarah and I met this weekend and got lot's accomplished with the planning and this is not going to be something you will want to miss. Click here to get all the info you need.

The She Seeks site has an awesome devotion this week so be sure to check it out and we are having a giveaway so click here to find out all about that!

My mom is doing ok...she's going through a lot right now and I know she appreciates and feels each of your prayers for her. She is still deciding on the route of treatment for her and is meeting with dr.'s for second opinions. I will keep you posted. Also, my sweet nephew Asher is having his second surgery this Friday, this is a very serious surgery and I know they appreciate your prayers too. I will keep you posted on that too.

Ok, onto this morning, the Lord had me up very early because He is really prying away at this soul of mine. I have had so many emotions the past few weeks that I have felt a little bit like I've had SBD. (Spiritual Bipolar Disorder)

Do you know what that is like? It's like these huge waves of emotions with the Lord. One minute TOTALLY trusting....the next TOTALLY freaking out. One moment dancing in the arms of Christ...the next sitting the dance out. One moment of laughter...the next of tears. One minute peaceful...the next uneasy.

I mean, it's been quite a ride here lately!

But you know what I've noticed...our God, our great Jehovah...He is a God of excellence, meaning He does not mess up. And I long to have more excellence in Him in my own personal walk with Him. And excellent walk with Him...not just an ok one.

Because you know what? God just isn't really interested in those who fake it.

And can I confess that all to often it's a lot easier to be fake than it is to be real? But, personally, I think being a fraud for Jesus just isn't good enough. It's just not.

Is how we are living our lives protecting the name of God or shaming His name?

Do we think we are really doing good when we are not?

As the Lord lead me back to a sweet passage of scripture 1 Corinthians chapter 13, I was reminded of what it means to live a life of excellence in Him. It's all about love. And it's not about self-seeking love. It's all about the love that He gives us that should be pouring from every step we take in this world.

I came up with a list with this passage of scripture to help me remember that without love in it....it's really nothing.

1. If there's envy in it....it's not love
2. If there is pride in it...it's not love
3. If there's boasting in it...it's not love
4. If it doesn't protect...it's not love
5. If there's anger in it...it's not love
6. If there's rejoicing when someone falls...it's not love
7. If it's giving up...it's not love
8. If there's a lie with it...it's not love
9. If it's self-promotion...it's not love
10. If it's anything but with love...it's nothing

I don't know about you but I am thankful for a God that will carry me through to help me rise above. Because the flesh side of me doesn't want to love always. But here's the amazing part....When Jesus is in it...He surrounds it. When Jesus is in it...His love can't help but pour out through every crack and flaw. When Jesus is standing with us, we can stand secure.

Perfection? Impossible. Love? Very possible.

That, is a beautiful thing. And I want more of it!

Loving more in everything today,
~Nicki

I see Him.

2009-08-31T00:01:00.002-04:00

Hey there my bloggy friends! If you are visiting me today from the She Seeks site I want to say a warm bloggy welcome to you! If you are not visiting and would like to check out this week's devo that I had the blessed opportunity to be apart of, click here.
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Well....I don't even know where to begin this morning! As I write this, I have just been to a Beth Moore simulcast and THREE different worship services! IN ONE WEEKEND. This is one fired up for Jesus girl! So buckle up. ;)

Just when I think...I HAVE SEEN IT ALL.

We have been visiting church's in our area and as of today, I have seen loud music, quite music, warm welcomes, cold welcomes, loud preachers, simple preachers, baptisms on the spot, pizza's sent as a thank you for coming, grown godly men holding a microphone and crying, phone calls to follow up, e-mails to follow up, exciting children's programs, free T-shirts and CD's and even......a wedding at the end of a service!

I have seen Him.....in a different way.

And then...

We just recently had to put our girls in a public school after 5 years in a private Christian school. And can I give God some praise? Because, I have seen....mother's praying with their kids, teacher subtly letting kids know they are Christians, mom's talking about what bible study they are attending and even children raising their hands in response to a question "What do you want to stand for?" and bodly proclaiming....."God!".

In a public school, I have seen Him...in an unexpected way.

But there is so much more to eyes being opened in a new way....

Charlotte peeps...did you know that our city has over 1800 Church's. 1800. Did you know that we are the second largest church city in the world?

Can you imagine what it would be like if we all came together and just loved and worshiped our God for who He is and not who we are or where we go to church?

HOLY COW.

Unity...it could be a beautiful thing.

It could be a peaceful thing.

But one thing I know....unity....It's a God-thing.

I'm excited to find a church home, but this process...it's made my heart very open to see and know that we need to come together as a city, as a nation and put things back under ONE GOD. And not just in our governments.....

It's been an incredible experience to worship with different people, different backgrounds, different styles and yet still....the same Jesus!

And here's how I feel about these 1800 church's in my city.....If Jesus is in it.....I want to be apart of it! If God's moving....I want to rejoice! If God's speaking......I want to hear! And if God's there...And He's here......And He's over there......then, we are all in this together!!

Because there is only one true and living God. And if we are all under Him...then let's act like it.

Revival isn't near.....it's now. Are you in?

I hope I haven't seen it all....Because every time my eyes are opened fresh....it's like I'm seeing Him in a whole new way. And that my friends.....is something to shout about!

Taking on a whole new sight,
~Nicki

Ever question Him? Me too.

2009-08-25T08:04:00.005-04:00

My day started super early today...5:20 am to be exact. And I went directly to one place...my knees.

Today is the first day of school for Taylor and Hope in their new school. It's been quite a journey to get to this point today.

I have fought the Lord on this more times than I can count and I still do not quite understand what He is doing through everything we have been through over the past few months.

In fact, there are some tears flowing from these eyes of mine as I write this now.

I just KNEW that God was going to pour down $10,000 last year so that our girls could stay in their school. I prayed, I believed and I searched for Him to answer. But when He didn't...I still trusted. I still knew He had a plan...and He did.

But that doesn't mean I wasn't disappointed. It doesn't mean that every time we saw someone from their old school that my heart wouldn't sink when I told them we weren't able to come back. It doesn't mean that I haven't had many sleepless nights wondering what we were going to do and how things were going to turn out.

And it doesn't mean I'm still not standing here with my eyes to the sky saying, "What are you doing right now?"

The Lord also recently showed us that it was time to leave the church we had been at for the past 15 years. Where we both poured our lives into, brought each of our girls since they were two weeks old and where all of the first steps in ministry I took. Our friends, our Sunday school family and all of the girls friends were all in one place...our church.

That....on top of this move, new school and my mom's latest diagnosis with Breast Cancer....has been a lot to absorb.

A LOT.

None of this has been easy. None of this has been fun (except decorating a new house{smiles}) But...all of this, it's God's plan.

But, I know it's God's plan, because it's not mine. :)

He's been refining like never before, He's been stripping my soul down like never before. And He's been doing something new for quite awhile.

Then, I read a quote the other day by Joni Earekson Tada that struck me hard! It said:

"Just when we least expect it [God] intrudes into our neat and tidy notions about who He is and how He works."

And I thought to myself......that is exactly what I feel like the Lord has been doing lately...intruding. :)

Then, I read this verse today: "How great are Your works, O Lord, how profound are your thoughts." ~Psalm 92:5

This morning I am praying it over my girls today... and I realized I've got a lot of nerve to think my way would ever be better than what God is doing right now.

I've got a lot of nerve to think that the God who sits upon the throne of heaven, created this incredible earth and everything in it... And who and holds the number of hairs upon my head would ever let something slip through His hands.

I've got a lot of nerve to be angry, upset, sad or down because God moved in a way I didn't expect.

I got a lot of nerve....and I'm sorry Lord.

And so I take all these tiny notions about who I think God is, and I release them like never before. I trust like never before. I obey like never before. I love like never before. And I live in Him...like never before.

Because God is God....and I am not. His thoughts...they are not mine. And His ways...are unlike any other. I don't question...I trust. I believe because...He gives me faith.

And these girls...they are His....and I only get to borrow them for a short time. So I surrender...all.

So if today, you like me, ever question God...know that you are not alone. But together, in Him, we will overcome all of these trials, frustrations and we will press on because He will give us the strength to do so.

Much love,
~Nicki

DMV..is for the birds?

2009-08-23T21:10:00.004-04:00

The past few weeks we have been busy, busy, busy trying to get all this moving fiesta done. And apparently when you send your kids to public school you need things like birth certificates, driver's licenses, even power bills with the correct address and ahem.....to prove you live in said place.

Things that a momma must get done, but don't like to get done with the girly girl birds flying around her feet.

Well, you can imagine the unpleasant glare my husband received when he informed me that he couldn't stay home on the morning we decided I was going to go to such places like the dreaded DMV without little birdies at my feet.

It wasn't pretty.

And there could have maybe, just maybe been an little bit of an unpleasant exchanging of words. Maybe.

So I gathered up my crew and threatened their little lives with things like never having an icee again if they did not behave. Because when a momma needs major ammo, she pulls the icee card. Works every-single-time. {winks}

Well apparently the Lord was in quite a humorous mood as my little entourage pulled into one overcrowded parking lot because at exactly the moment we opened our doors....drops of rain began to fall.

Now, this would not be such a problem in things like LINES were not like OUTSIDE and we had NO umbrella. But they were and we did not.

You better believe I pulled a major, "SWEET MERCY LORD". But...it was almost as if He quietly chuckled and sang to me, "Oh no girl......IT'S GRACE LIKE RAINNNNNNN".

Regardless of how much grace is found in rain, there was none found on this day, I can assure you of that.

As I stood there.....under a tree no less.....with my girls, I began to think that this was perhaps the craziest thing I have ever attempted with three children in tow. And had I NOT needed to register them THAT day at their school, I would have jetted outta there like you would not believe.

A little over than an hour or so we finally made it into the hallway of the dmv line. Such a grand place when you have been standing in the rain. And I do believe I could've held a raffle for my spot in line at that point.

Well, when you have no immediate rewards/consequences/entertainment for this Kennyboo:

You give her your phone.....so she can take pictures......lot's of pictures. Which will inspire everyone to practice their poses for lovely DMV head shots. And she will ammuse many and make them laugh while waiting for endless hours in line.

Maybe they'd hire her on there at the DMV.

But... she's pretty booked up these days. You know dumping Lego's everywhere, antagonizing the living daylights out of her sissy's and making many phone calls to people just to ask, "What are you doing?"...pretty much fills up her schedule.

So to kill time we did the hoe-down-throw-down several times, a small version of the hokey pokey and about a million and one photo shoots with the camera phone.

Because after all, everything should be educational.

Well, apparently DMV folk aren't used to things like boo's hanging out with them for three hours. And they don't have things like skittle machines, coloring books or even....potty's.

Which didn't make little diva birdy very happy.

So she found great pleasure to kill the time by enforcing the no-cell-phone's allowed sign. I mean, I'm intimidated by a three-year-old, aren't you?

In fact, I've come to believe that the reason the lines are so ridiculously long at the DMV is because they are forever telling someone to get off the phone! Yet another reason the boo would be their perfect next candidate for DMV customer relations.

I mean do YOU know someone that can do the hoe-down-throw-down in all it's perfection as WELL as enforce no cell phone rules?

Well, after we had all quite had enough, the boo pulled out HER major ammo to get out of such a place. "Mommy!!! I gotta go potty NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

And did you have ANY idea that the DMV does not find it necessary to provide such facilities for such demanding children or anyone else that might have to hang out there for three hours? AT ALL.

So guess who got a text from one stressed out momma? Um...yes. The husband. And it went something like this: "Boo has to pee NOW get here before someone dies."

Luckily it was his lunch break and he made it there just in the nick of time to run her across the street to McD's.

Just as the boo was gone my number was FINALLY called. I got what I needed and proceeded to jet out of there as fast as I could, mercifully giving every person I could a smile on my way outta there. But in all sincerity, did not look at the driver's license like man who said to look at driver's license said to......because, what's the point?

So we got the girls registered in all it's goodness and made our way to run some errands. And a little ring ring on the cell phone would bring back into full circle man who's job it is to say, "LOOK AT YOUR LICENSE TO MAKE SURE IT'S CORRECT".

"Excuse me Mrs.Koziarz? This is Matthews Elementary school and we were just looking over your driver's license and they spelled your last name wrong....like they missed the "K" in Koziarz."

WHAT?!

"Ya, and we need to have this fixed as soon as possible."

Sweet Mercy, Sweet Mercy and another Sweet MERCY.

DMV...it's not for me or the birds......but it is for people who can follow directions.

"The One enthroned in heaven laughs.." -Psalm 2:4

Oh yes He does. Especially on our DMV days. :)